CHAPTER 1

“It’s 2,300 for you, Ma’am,” Nakangiti kong saad sa customer. 

Gumanti ito ng ngiti sa akin at pagkatapos ay nagbayad. “Ano ka ba, Lily. I told you not to call me ‘Ma’am’, Ate nalang,” Napatawa ako sa kanya habang binigay sa kanya ang sukli.

“Hindi bagay sayo ang ‘Ate’ no, teacher ka na kaya,” Tumawa naman ito at kinuha ang kanyang mga binili.

“Ate nalang kasi, naiilang ako kapag nag ma-Ma’am ka sakin,” Tumawa ako habang napailing sa sinabi niya. Surely, she’s a sweet thing.

“Okey po, Ate,” Pumalatak ito ng tawa at lumabas sa linya ng mga customer.

“That’s good to hear,” She chuckled as she shifts her grocery bags to her right hand. “Ikaw, kalian mo balak bumalik sa pag-aaral? I can help you, you know,” I bit my lower lip as I think deeply.

“Uhm, next year pa po, Ate. Gusto ko munang tulungan ngayon si Tita Celia, may sakit pa kasi siya e at saka kailangan din namin ng pera para pambili ng gamot sa kanya,” She sadly smiled.

“I can lend you money naman, Lily. Kahit bayaran mo nalang kapag nakapagtrabaho ka na ng maayos,” Agad akong napailing sa kanyang sinabi. One thing about Ate Shallel, she’s so kind and generous. At ayokong abusuhin ang kanyang kabaitan sa akin.

“Nako huwag na po, Ate. Kaya ko na po ito, alam mo namang malakas ako diba,” Natatawang saad ko. She chuckled and look at me dearly.

“I’m so proud of you, after all what happened you still choose to live on no matter how hard and painful it is to you,” Ngumiti ito sakin at nagpaalam na rin. Bago ito tuloyang lumabas ay inaya niya akong pumunta sa kanilang bahay para daw ay may kasama siyang mag movie marathon, at pumayag naman ako.

Four years had passed and yet the wound is still there. It carved deeply in my soul that I had a hard time in my sleep every night. Minsan napapanaginipan ko ang nangyari dati. I sometimes hallucinate, at nauuwi din sa tulog. Apat na taon akong inalagaan ni Tita Celia ng walang hinihinging tulong sa iba niyang pamilya. She embraced my flaws and accepted me as her own daughter. I feel the love of my family again, and at the same time, it saddens me. The way Tita treat me as her own, I saw how my Mom in her, the way Tita Celia protected me, I saw Dad in her. Gusto ni Tita na bumalik ako sa pag-aaral but I insisted. Natatakot ako na kapag lumayo ako sa lugar na ‘to, may mga lalaking naka suot ng itim na damit na namang sumusunod sakin.

I sometimes dreamed about them. They chased me while I was running through the wilderness barefooted. Their shadows grow bigger as they approaching me. Their face becomes hideous, their shoulder grow long holding an axe with my family’s blood in it. Their legs grew long that whenever their foot meet the ground, it dug deep into the moist soil. Their face reminds me of a shadow man or the boogy man, and its scares me a lot.

“Tita, I’m home,” I remove my shoes and put it in the divider.

Pumasok ako sa loob ng bahay at naabutang naghain si Tita ng kanin mula sa rice cooker. Lumingon ito sa akin at ngumiti, “Oh, nandito ka na pala. Halika, kumain muna tayo bago ka magbihis pambahay,” Tumango ako at ginawaran siya ng halik sa pisngi bago umupo sa harap niya.

Umupo ito sa harap ko at nagsimula na kaming magdasal sa hapag-kainan. We ate silently hanggang matapos kami at nagpaalam ako para maligo sa taas.

“Kamusta ang trabaho mo, Hija? Hindi ka ba nahihirapan?” tanong nito sa akin pagkatapos kong magbihis ng pang tulog at bumaba sa sala.

“Okey naman po,Tita. Nahihirapan po ako ng kunti pero okey naman po,” Ngumiti ito sa akin.

“Pasensya ka na kung nagtatrabaho ka ngayon, Hija. Hayaan mo, kapag magaling na ako ay ako naman ang magtatrabaho, makakabalik ka na sap ag-aaral mo,” Tumayo ako at lumapit sa  saka siya niyakap.

“Tita naman, desisyon ko po ‘yun, hindi niyo po kasalanan ‘yun, Tita. Ako po ang may gusto nun kaya huwag na po kayong umiyak dyan, pumapangit na po kayo lalo oh,” pabiro kong sabi sa kanya.

Bigla naman itong bumaling sa akin at humingos, “Umiiyak ba ‘ko?” Natatawa akong tumango habang pinunasan ang kanyang luha sa pisngi, “Pumangit ba ako lalo?” Nag-aalangang tumango ako at tumawa ng malakas dahil sa kanyang reaksyon.

“Joke lang po, Tita ano ka ba. Maganda parin po kayo kahit umiiyak,” Natatawa kong agap na sabi ko sa kanya.

“Binobola mo na naman ako eh,” Nakanguso nitong sabat sakin.

Tumawa ako ng malakas at pinanggigigilan ang kanyang pisngi. Four years had passed, ngayon lang ulit ako tumawa ng malakas at, totoo. And that’s because of the woman in my side.

“Lily? Tao po, kung wala pong tao nanakawin ko po si Lily,” Tumawa ng marahan si Tita nang marinig namin ang boses ni Ate Shallel sa labas.

“Oh, tawag ka na ng Ate Sha mo, hihiramin ka na naman,” pagtatampo nito sa akin.

Ngumiti ako saka inakbayan siya, “Tita, nasa harap lang po ng bahay natin ang bahay ni Ate Sha,” I chuckled nang umismid ito sa akin. “Mag momovie marathon po kami, ‘Ta. Inaya niya kasi ako kanina sa supermarket na samahan ko daw po siyang magmomovie marathon kasi wala naman daw siyang kasama.”

Bumaling ito sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit, “Oo na, enjoy ka dun ha?” sabi nito at kumalas sa pagyakap sa akin at tumango naman ako bilang tugon.

Pagkatapos kong ihatid si Tita sa kanyang kwarto ay nagpaalam na rin ako sa kanya. 

“Ate Sha,” bungad ko sa kanya nang makalabas ako ng gate.

Bigla niya naman akong hinila at nagmamadaling pumasok sa kanilang bahay, “Bilis bilis bilis! Excited na ako,” Tumatalon-talon itong pumasok sa loob ng kanilang bahay habang hatak-hatak naman niya ako.

Tumawa ako at sinirado ang pinto at pagkatapos ay ini-lock iyon, “Ilang beses na po tayo nag movie marathon, ‘Te pero excited ka parin.”

“Aba syempre ‘no. Wala kaya akong kasama dito sa bahay palagi,” sabi nito habang naglakad diretso sa kusina, “You go grab some chips and drinks, kuha lang ako ng nutella dito,” utos niya sakin habang abala sa paghuhukay ng kanyang kitchen cabinet.

Pagkatapos naming kumuha ng pagkain ay tumuloy na kami sa sala para manood ng movies. We laugh, cry, and mad all the time. We were so engrossed to the movie we watch until the clock chimes at twelve in the morning.

Ate Sha offered me to sleep in her house since we’re already sleepy. She let me sleep in her room while she sleep in her Mom’s bedroom.

“You sure you’re okey here? My room’s not that big but it’s comfy though,” she asked as she put the comforter around my body.

“Yeah, thank you,” I smiled and adjust the comforter around me.

She stood up and made her way to the door, “Pray before you sleep, Lily. And oh, you can turn off the lights if you want to,” She smiled at me before closing the door.

After she closed the door, I sit up and started to pray. After that I lay back on the soft mattress. I look at the lights and decide whether to turn it off or not. I remember two years ago I tried to turn the lights off when I was about to sleep. Suddenly I was suffocated by the darkness and was having a hard time to breath. I was clutching my neck trying to have some air when Aunt Celia opened the door in my room and turned on the lights.

I was dripping in sweat when Aunt Celia run towards me and slammed me in her chest giving me a tight hug. She said she was about to sleep that time when she heard my shrieks and whimper like I was choked by someone.

The memories from two years ago give me trauma. So, I sleep with the lights on.

I woke up nearly four in the morning and decided to drink water. I close the door behind me and quietly made my way to the kitchen, the lights are on so I’m not afraid while I made my way through the island counter. I was about to get some glass when I heard someone fighting.

“What the heck are you doing here, Gulf?” My forehead ceased as I heard Ate Sha’s small voice.

I tiptoed near the refrigerator and hide. I peek my head to see who she’s talking with.

“Why the fuck are you doing here, Gulf?” ulit na tanong ni Ate Shallel sa lalaki. Hindi ko makita ang kanyang mukha dahil nakatalikod ito sa akin.

But the way he towered Ate Sha, sigurado akong matangkad ito. Agad akong napatago nang nagsimulang maglakad si Ate Sha malapit sa aking pinagtataguan.

“Napadaan lang ako dito. And, I saw your house,” Napatingin ako sa kanila habang maingat na nagtago  sa gilid ng refrigerator.

“Liar, alam kong hindi ka lang basta napadaan dito. You think you could fool me?” Binuksan niya ang refrigerator at kinuha ang isang pitsel ng tubig saka nagsalin sa baso at ininom iyon.

The man chuckled and slowly reach Ate Sha’s waist and pull her to him, “I came here for you because I missed you,” nanlaki ang aking mata nang bigla nitong hinalikan sa labi si Ate Sha.

“S-Shut it, Gulf!” Pinigilan ito ni Ate habang pilit siya nitong hinahalikan.

My instinct shot up and immediately grab the near bottle of soda and furiously run towards the man and hardly throw the bottle of soda in his head. Napaigik ito at nabitawan si Ate Sha, dali-dali kong nilayo si Ate sa kanya at dumistansya.

“L-Lily?” Gulat na ani ni Ate Sha sakin.

“D-Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” Kinakabahang hinawakan ko si Ate sa kaniyang kamay at nilagay siya sa aking likuran.

“N-No, L-Lily—,” Hindi niya natapos ang kaniyang sasabihin nang biglang tumakbo patungo sa akin ang lalaki at sinipa ako sa tiyan.

Hindi ako agad nakaiwas dahil sa bilis ng pagkilos nito hanggang naramdaman ko nalang na may sumipa sa aking tiyan at tumilapon ako sa sahig. I groaned in pain while rolling on the floor.

“No, Gulf!” Napatingin ako sa gilid at nakitang pinipigilan niya ang lalaki na umatake ulit sa akin.

Dali-dali akong tumayo habang hawak ang aking tyan.

“Who the heck is this kid?” kid? I’m no kid! Bigla itong naglakad papunta sakin habang hawak ang kaniyang ulo.

Nagmamadaling naglakad si Ate Sha para pigilan ang lalaki, “No, she’s my friend!” Bumaling ang lalaki sa kanya at kumunot ang noo.

“You have no friend,” he corrected her coldly.

“I have, at siya iyon!” she exclaimed and hardly pushed him to her side.

Agad na naglakad si Ate Sha patungo sakin at hinawakan ng mahigpit ang aking kamay.

“Hindi ko alam kung bakit ka nandito pero isa lang ang masasabi ko, get your fucking face outta here,” Galit niyang sabi sa lalaki at binuksan ang pinto sa may kusina. “Get out of my house.”

I heard him sigh and made his way to the back door. Before he made his way outside, he directly look at me and smiled, “See you around, Aliyah”

My eyes widened when he spoke my name. It’s been four years since I last heard my name spoken by someone. My breathing became fast and unsure, until my vision became black.