Chasing Betsy (English)

 Okay. Calm down, Betsy. Take deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Remember, you are one sophisticated woman. Megawatts smile!

Shit! How did I end up here again? Oh, right. Of course! It’s time to pay the rent. To avoid my landlady’s machine gun mouth, Petra, and to be able to afford Grandpa’s new false teeth, I definitely have to endure this!

So here I am, inside a spacious conference room which has white walls. I am currently sitting on a very comfortable swivel chair in front of a big wooden desk. I am with the other business minded people in the corporate world. In front of us is this really big projector, as big as my patience. I am inside the luxurious hotel in the city of New York.

“. . . so basically the length of the development . . .”

“ . . . logistics . . . data . . . management . . .”

 O…kay…What? I don’t know, really. I can’t understand any of the terms being used by this Mr. Glasses who’s been going on and on for like two hours now. He looks like he is in his late thirties but is already having a midlife crisis features. Even if I put my brain inside a washing machine, wring it, and hang it in planet Mars, I still don’t understand his point or any of the words that he is trying so hard explaining.

Well, anyway. I think it won’t matter anymore. As long as I just nod in full confidence, show my professional smile with perfect white teeth as if I totally get whatever he is saying like I am a pro in business. I couldn’t help but be amazed with my own self. I guess my acting skill is on point. I am not even casted in Hollywood yet!

All right, just wait a minute . . . Why does it seem like everybody is getting busy with something? They are busily doing something on their laptops. Oh shit! I did not even get the memo that we will be bringing laptops today! Okay, this is ridiculously embarrassing. I am the only one in the entire room without a laptop on the desk! Again, calm down, Betsy.

Look at that person next to you. Ha! He has no laptop too. In fact, he only has an old notebook in front of him. He looks so relaxed leaning on the backrest of his chair with an obvious bored look on his face. In comparison to me, I guess he even looks less prepared than I! He isn’t even wearing decent clothes. Just a plain gray shirt and denim jeans with holes on the knees. Damn, his looks scream ‘I don’t give a fuck’. He even forgot to shave today. Talk about being unkempt! But his eyes are so blue and . . . Oh fuck! His eyes are on me! Okay, self, please look away a bit. Don’t be too obvious. Oh wow! Did he just arch a brow at me?

I finally look away and just focus my attention back to Mr. Glasses who, unfortunately, isn’t done with his litanies yet. I clear my throat because I feel a sudden surged of awkwardness in the air. I try to think of something to do so that I won’t look stupid in front of everyone. A thought came to mind and I quickly get my smartphone. After getting it from my bag, I started typing. Smugly, I glance around the room with a sharp eye.  I belong of course! I am doing something too! I shouted at the back of my mind. As I was doing it, my confidence starts to build up again. I look at my phone again and stopped in my tracks for something I notice. Damn it! Am I chatting with an alien? The words I came up with are gibberish. Or it looks like I’m sitting on my computer keyboard. Fffggghhhioo. Seriously?!

Delete!

To save myself from complete disgrace, a brilliant idea came up. I have decided to just make a list on all the essential things that I will be buying when I get home.

1. garlic
2. 3 cans of beer
3. olive­ oil

Mother of all shits! My ringtone suddenly plays due to an incoming call. I glance around the room and see the people looking at me with annoyed expression painted on their faces. I quickly turn off my phone and smile at them apologetically. I can feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment. I look down and close my eyes.

After sometime, the presentation continues and it was totally a relief for me. I put my smartphone in my bag because it seems useless now. I disappointedly take a deep breath and stare at the empty desk in front of me again. I am dumbfounded when I see a sheet of paper which is obviously being torn out from a notebook. During this moment, I am not surprised anymore as to whom it came from for I know that all of the people inside the room had brought laptops except for the guy who is sitting next to me.

I slowly glance at him and feel ashamed of myself for those insulting thoughts I had of him earlier. Unfortunately, or maybe it is a good thing that he isn’t looking in my direction because he is busy looking at Mr. Glasses’ presentation in front.

I bite on my lower lip and stare at his desk. I am desperately looking at his pen. Maybe he notices it too because when I secretly glance at him, he is staring straight into my eyes.

“Do you need a pen with that,” he asks in a deep voice. There is a ghost of smile on his lips like he finds something funny.

A question crosses my mind. Is he laughing at me?

I swallow hard due to nervousness. My heart suddenly starts beating rapidly which is crazy. It’s like it is about to go somewhere! Yikes!

After some seconds of just stupidly staring right back at him, I suddenly realize that I should come up with a response.

“S-Sure,’ I respond in a shaky voice. Maybe my guardian angel face palms because of this.

Without saying anything, he slowly takes his pen and puts it beside the piece of paper in front of me. And I am flabbergasted staring at his pen. It is a Cartier pen! It is a very expensive pen in which its price can even feed the street children. I cannot help myself but look at his clothes again. Okay, so maybe he isn’t really that fond of fashion trends or he spends his money buying expensive pens the reason why he probably could not afford to buy decent clothes anymore. I don’t really know.

Though I kind of feel ashamed of myself and feel like a charity case, I swallow my pride and desperately hold on to his pen like I am holding onto my own dear life. It’s still a life saver!

I continue writing on my list using his pen.

4. eggs (a dozen)
5. tampons
6. new toothbrush
7. rug (got to replace the old one)

I am not able to finish my list because one of the organizers in the event starts talking again. I have to pay attention just like everyone else in the room or else he will ask me a question. I’ve experienced this before. In a classroom setting. Like when the teacher notices that you are the only one not paying attention in class, there’s a hundred percent you’ll be called for a recitation. And I definitely don’t want to be that person anymore.

“All right, folks! This time, I want you to share your ideas with one another. Don’t be shy . . .”

I silently curse on my seat. I wasn’t actually following the presentation earlier because I was too busy finishing my essential lists. How the hell do I share my ideas if in the first place, I don’t even have one! I am so not ready for this!

“ . . . groupmates . . . people sitting next to you,” he goes on and on and on.

I am totally having a dilemma right now. What idea am I capable of sharing when I am just merely an impostor? I pray profusely and call all the Holy Saints I know. Five of them, I guess . . Oh, wait . . is Fred a saint? Whatever.

I become more and more anxious when I notice the woman right next to me. She has started moving her chair. The rugged looking guy also follows. He is obviously irritated by it but still obliges. After noticing that I am the one only who is not moving, I force myself to do the same thing.

After moving our chairs, the prayer meeting— I mean our discussion commences­­­­­­­. Our group is now composed of I, Platinum Blonde, and Rugged Guy.

“So, should we start introducing ourselves?” Platinum Blonde chirpily suggests. She plasters a wide grin on her face. It looks really awkward in my peripheral vision and I am not going to be the one to point that out to her. “My name is Amanda Daring, executive assistant of Global World.”

“Jack Wills,” is Rugged Guy short response. We remain silent as we wait for him to continue but he just turns silent. I guess that’s it.

I lean forward and give them a confident nod. I had practiced my next line plenty of times just for this moment

“Yuri Haruko, junior managing director of Kazumi Enterprises,” I swiftly lie.

Platinum Blonde suddenly gasps and beams. “Oh wow! You are Japanese then. I so love Japan though I’ve never been there before!” She looks at my face intently and after some second she frowns. “You don’t look like Japanese though.”

I feel like she is challenging me in a way and I, being a competitive spirited person, never refuse a challenge. I start to twitch my eyes like I am directly staring at a sunlight to make them look much smaller. I move my mouth just to make my red lips appear thinner.

Platinum Blonde or shall I say Amanda gapes at me. After a few moment of complete silence, her face changes and her eyes start to twinkle. I know she is amazed with me so I try harder to impress her to a point where I almost can’t see anymore.

“Are you all right?” Rugged Guy— asks. I hear concern on his tone as he intently stares at my face.

“Of course!” I say quickly and changes my face back to normal. “Er . . . Let’s . . .”

“Are you sure?” He looks obviously unconvinced.

“Uh huh,” I say trying to sound casual.

“Can you tell us some Japanese words?” Amanda enthusiastically suggests. “Well aside from the word ‘Arigato’ of course, because that’s all I know! Haha!”

Shit! I mentally curse. How do I get out of this situation? I don’t fucking know any Japanese! My client, the real Yuri Haruko uses English language every time we speak during our spa session! I don’t have the luxury of time to learn.

I swallow hard and gives a quick glance at Jack Wills. I feel like he just makes it work as he expectantly stares at me too. I can feel the formation of sweats on my forehead. They are both looking at me intently as I am still gathering my thoughts. I’m fake! I want to shout desperately. In the end, I dive into the puddle of mess I made.

“Harujusko,” I croak and start waiting for the ground to swallow me.