October Breeze

IRIS

It was all I could do not to fall asleep behind the wheel as I drove home. It was a long day at the hospital and all I wanted to do was change out of the scrubs I was wearing, take a hot shower, and rest in my husband’s arms.

I stepped my foot a bit harder against the gas pedal. I really hoped Sebastian was home. The past few days had been a rollercoaster, but I was ready to fix everything. He didn't need to apologize for the insults he’d rained on me a week ago. I deserved them. We’d been married for over two years and I couldn’t get pregnant. What kind of woman was I?

I slowed down as I approached the parking garage, a feeling of excitement coursing through me despite my fatigue. I had good news for Seb. I’d officially obtained my nursing license.

Dragging myself out of my car, I took out the box of cake I’d picked up at the bakery on my way over and headed towards the elevator. But as I approached, I saw a familiar figure walking towards me.

“Malcolm?” I called out. Malcolm was our family lawyer and Seb’s best friend. He was dressed in a suit, holding a brown envelope which he tried to hide behind him as he saw me walking towards him.

“Iris,” his eyebrows shot up. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here? Is there a problem?”

Malcolm hesitated. Though it was brief—a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes— I caught it.

There definitely was a problem, and it was my job to find out what it was.

“Look, I-Iris,” he started to stutter, but the envelope he was hiding finally came into view. “We can’t do this here.”

Feeling annoyed, I snapped, my voice sharp. “What is that? If there’s something wrong— which, clearly there is, or you wouldn’t be here— I deserve to know.”

Malcolm exhaled resignedly, finally handing the envelope to me. “I wasn’t supposed to give you this here.”

His voice was soft and filled with what I recognized as pity.

My hand shook as I grabbed the envelope from him, and I dropped the cake box on the ground so I could open it with both hands.

It felt too light to be anything important, but the moment I saw the words printed at the top of the paper, all the air left my lungs and I suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Petition for Dissolution of Marriage.

These were divorce papers. “What?” My voice was small, cracked. And as I looked up at Malcolm for some sort of explanation—maybe it was just a misunderstanding— the solemn expression on his face told me all I needed to know.

“I’m sorry, Iris. I hate to do this to you. Seb…” But I couldn’t hear anything anymore except for the ringing in my ears. As I stumbled towards the elevator and pressed the button, my legs threatened to give way under me.

“Iris. Iris, wait.” Malcolm sounded worried. “You don’t want to go up right now.”

But it was too late. The doors had closed and I could feel the elevator ascending.

I stared at the papers in my hand, my vision blurring. This had to be a mistake. It had to be! Sebastian wouldn't… he wouldn’t do this. Not like this. Not without talking it out with me first.

The soft ding of the elevator informed me that I had arrived at our penthouse, and as the door opened, I said the one name that had been on my mind all day.

“Sebastian.” Bile rose up my throat and it was all I could do not to throw up on the carpet. “Sebastian!” I called louder this time, storming towards our bedroom.

I barely registered the pair of heels sitting by the door before I twisted the knob, opening the door to a scene that shattered my heart to pieces a hundred times over.

Sebastian was in bed with another woman. Both were naked and they rushed to cover themselves with the duvet while I stood there, unable to process the situation before me. My legs wobbled like noodles. I held on to the doorpost for support.

“Iris?”

“Seb?” I was breathless. “What is… what is this? Who is that?”

Sebastian jumped out of the bed, picked up his boxers from the floor, and put it on. He started to approach me. “We should talk about this outside—”

I tried to walk past him towards the bed to see who the homewrecker was but he reached for me, pulling me towards the door.

Not before I saw the face of the woman on the bed.

Eleanor Hayes, my husband’s one and only assistant. And my best friend.

I was too stunned to speak as Sebastian led me out of the room, my gaze locked onto Eleanor’s wide-eyed stare.

“I-I thought you had a double shift at the hospital tonight,” Sebastian lamely tried to defend.

Slowly, I forced myself to meet his eyes, studying the expression on his face. On the surface, he seemed worried, probably because I looked like a crazed lunatic at the moment, but I wasn’t stupid— at least, not at that moment. I could see the underlying expression. Mirth. He was amused by what he’d just done to me, not worried or sorry.

Shocked laughter escaped my lips. “So what? If you knew I was coming home, you wouldn’t have brought Eleanor home to fuck her?”

“Iris—”

“You wouldn’t have asked Malcolm to give me these fucking papers because of how much of a damn coward you are?” I shoved the papers in his face.

My hands were shaking and my breathing had become erratic. I knew what was coming, but I was too filled with rage and adrenaline to calm myself down.

Sebastian’s nostrils flared as the papers fell to the floor. He turned his back on me, pulling at his hair with exasperation as he scoffed. “You know fucking what?”

He turned to face me. “Yeah, I did that. I fucked Eleanor, and I want a divorce. What are you going to do about it, Iris?”

Tears clouded my vision as I bit out, “You’re pathetic.”

Sebastian only laughed, but his gaze turned deadly as he moved even closer to me, forcefully gripping my chin. “No, you are. A fucking sorry excuse for a woman, that’s what you are,” he spat. “Been married to you for so fucking long and I have nothing to show for it! But guess what? Eleanor and I have been fucking for only a month and she is pregnant. Don’t you feel silly? Don’t you feel fucking stupid?”

I couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard I tried to take deep breaths, my lungs wouldn’t let me. “You’re lying,” I whispered. The fire was gone, all that was left was a hollow ache where the anger used to be.

“That’s not true. You’re lying.”

I opened my mouth to speak again but a voice cut in. A raspy voice. One that I used to love listening to as we laughed and cried together. Now all it reminded me of was nails scraping on a chalkboard.

“It’s true,” Eleanor said as she came into view. “I’m pregnant, Iris.”

The force of her words made me stumble backward. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t fucking happening to me. Eleanor wouldn’t do that to me, would she?

Sebastian stretched a hand out to her and she sauntered over to him dressed in his shirt. “We didn’t plan it,” she continued, smirking at me. “It just… happened.”

“We’re done, Iris,” Sebastian sighed. “You’re a liability to me. There’s no way I’m becoming a CEO with you in my life. So, just sign the fucking papers and leave, okay?”

A wet, shaky laugh escaped me.

Just sign the fucking papers and leave. Like I was nothing but dirt under his shoes.

But I did it. I picked the papers up and signed them at the kitchen counter. One last blow to my dignity. And then, my chest caving in, I stumbled out of the penthouse. I kept my back turned to the elevator doors because I couldn't watch the smirks on their faces as it closed shut.

I felt humiliated, used, stupid.

I dug my nails into my palm as I approached my car. Each breath I took was more shallow than the last and my pulse continuously pounded in my ears. As I turned the key in the ignition, I knew I was doing the one thing I wasn’t supposed to do during a panic attack, but at that moment, I couldn't bring myself to care. I had to get away from that environment.

And so I drove. And I drove and I drove until I couldn’t make sense of the dark roads in front of me. I drove until my vision blurred and I was unable to see, but I couldn’t stop. I was worthless. I deserved to die. Why couldn’t someone just—

Bang!

I felt my body move forward due to the force of the car that hit mine, but it was all over before it even started. It wasn’t enough. I was still okay.

I heard the sound of a door being opened, and I watched in darkness as a figure resembling a man approached me.

Perfect. I couldn’t even die right.

I felt the tears start to pour again and this time I didn't hold it back.

I screamed like a mad woman.