Chasing the Wife He couldn't Love: Ex-Husband's Regret

Tears I've been holding since we got into this cemetery streamed down my face freely. 

I balled my fingers into a tight fist, as I stared into space. I was going to miss Grandpa Walton so much. He was the only one who had loved and adored me sincerely in this family. 

Not even my husband had cherished me the way Grandpa Walton did.

And now, that he was gone, I'm left with no one on my side—I cried deeply. 

I blew my nose into the little handkerchief I had in my hand. 

A black shade on my eyes, even though tears kept trouping through it. I couldn't help it. Grandpa Walton was my only support, the one who had stood by me through everything. 

Just as I was cleaning the tears dripping down my face, Damien came up to where I stood, his face hard and eyes cold. 

We all watched Grandpa Walton being finally laid to rest. My teeth clenched harder and my nails dug into my palms it could tear it off, my heart was shattered.

Just a few weeks back, I had gone to visit Grandpa and he had made me laugh so much with his stories and playfulness. 

Even though he was never soft with any of his granddaughters-in-law, he doted on me like I was the next delicate thing close to his heart. 

A few minutes later, it was done—Grandpa was gone to the other side of the world for good. 

I couldn't help the heavy lump on my throat, and the stream of sadness that overwhelmed my soul.

While others in the family saw it as normal because he was old and felt little to no sadness, I was engulfed with misery over his death.

Many years ago, when I was still little and barely eight, my junior brother had just turned one year old. We were happy. My mum had waited for so long to conceive a second baby after she had me, and when my brother finally came, she was overwhelmed with joy—for that I decided to suggest something that would refresh the memories of when my brother was born. 

I requested that we go to a Disney amusement pack to have his birthday celebrated. 

We've never done that for anyone—not for me or Mum and Dad. I just wanted something different and my parents accepted. Everyone was happy—we all dressed up, ready to leave and have that amazing party for my brother’s birthday.

While Dad drove, I sat at the back with my little brother beside me. 

We were happy and excited until time seemed to stop, everywhere became quiet, panic set in as Dad tried every way possible to dodge the huge trailer ahead of us. 

Mum held Dad’s arm in panic, her other hand at the back as though that could protect me and my brother. 

Right then, Dad shouted, his eyes filled with sorrow as he loooked back at us and in a split second, everything became a blur and all I could hear was the sounds of shattered glasses and metal, and my mother's screaming voice, then I couldn't hear a thing again. It became totally dark. 

I woke up three months later to the news that everyone in my life was gone—My Dad, Mum and even my one year old brother. 

For the first time, I felt something I couldn't understand—pain, I was broken and traumatized. As little as I was, I just lost my whole family. 

I was completely alone with no one to lean on. 

Until one day, in our big house where I lived all to myself, an old man showed up and asked me to come with him. I hesitated, I didn't know him from anywhere and I couldn't trust him even though he said he was my father's business partner. 

But he didn't give up and kept coming around, till he got closer to me and one day, just one beautiful day, I agreed to go with him, telling him it was just a visit I’m making to his home and he agreed. 

That day, as agreed, I returned back home. But the second time I went with him, I never came back again, he was outrageously nice to me. 

Grandpa Walton took me in and took care of me like I was his real granddaughter. 

To remain in his family forever, he arranged my marriage with his second Grandson, Damien. 

I was very happy, as my whole life's wish had just come to pass.

I thanked my God for arranging my marriage to the only man my heart had ever beat for. 

On the day of our wedding, I was filled with so much excitement and my heart engulfed with bliss. Who wouldn’t? Damien was every girl’s dream.

He was tall, had a muscled upper body, and a very perfect jawline that made his face even more alluring. 

His countenance was often cold and he was very calculative, especially when it came to business. 

Most girls wish to have him smile at them just once and their whole life would be filled with joy. 

Gosh, I couldn’t believe I was about to become his wife, he often made my heart tingle every time I looked at him. 

While I kept smiling from ear to ear, Damien never smiled back even once, his cold gaze overwhelmed the hall. 

I knew he wasn’t pleased, I knew this marriage was forced on him and he wasn’t happy standing beside me, yet I believed someday, I’d make him fall for me and we would live happily ever after, I believe I’d make my marriage work, hence my smile never ceased. 

But five years down the line, Damien never changed. He was still the same—hard as ever. 

Cold and hated my existence with the whole of his heart. 

Worst of all? He brought his mistress to our home and had it shoved to my face that I was nothing to him. 

But all these, Grandpa never knew about it.  

He was battling high blood pressure, and several old people’s illnesses. I didn’t want to add to it, hence I kept it all to myself. 

Just as I cleaned off the tears dripping down my face, Jane appeared at the burial, her face squeezed up and faking a cry as if she ever cared for Grandpa Walton. 

She suddenly hugged Damien while crying into his chest and I clenched my teeth harder. 

I couldn't even dare do that, Damien would push me down in a swift, yet he was my husband. 

And the most amusing, Damien could only sleep with me, his wife when he was drunk.  

Fresh tears welled up in my eyes, both for the loss of grandpa and the heartache Damien had ever caused me. 

I watched how he patted her back softly while she cried into his chest. 

I couldn't watch anymore and turned around to leave, but Damien’s words made me halt. 

“I'm not coming home tonight. I need to take care of Jane, you can see she's freaking out,” he muttered and pain pierced through my chest all over again. 

Grandpa Walton had just been buried, and I needed someone to be with, I needed my husband 

“Okay,” I muttered along with a painful nod and walked off from the two lovebirds. 

As I approached the road to take a taxi, I couldn't even see properly with the tears blurring my vision. 

Now what do I do? How was I going to get rid of all the pains choking me?

I had been so unlucky with life. I lost my parents at a very young age, grandpa took me in, comforted me through it all and now, he was gone, leaving me behind all over again. 

Just as I made to stop a taxi, my head raised up and I saw Damien driving past where I stood with Jane seated comfortably at the front seat. 

A seat meant for me, his wife. 

She was relaxed and pressing her phone like grandpa wasn't just buried. 

I was beginning to see Damien in another light. Maybe he wasn't that great after all. 

How could he lose his favorite person on earth and already galivanting the city with a mistress? Leaving me—his wife on the street to take a taxi back home. 

He chose to comfort his mistress who wasn't even grieving. 

I felt disappointed, my stomach twisted into knots. 

A few seconds later, I stopped a taxi and hopped inside. 

I was going to our home, but I made up my mind on something—I wouldn't waste any more time with Damien.

He already had his mistress—I was someone he could never love. And now, I would give him the complete space to be with his mistress forever. 

While I sat in the taxi, my chest constricted with so much pain and anguish.

I had never thought a day like this would ever come—a day I would think of dissolving my marriage with Damien. 

Fresh pool of tears welled up in my eyes. 

I began cleaning my tears and held the rest in so I wouldn't worry my driver. 

A few minutes later. I arrived at my estate. 

I came down and walked into my apartment. 

But as soon as I got into the compound, I was welcomed with Damien’s car parked in our lot. 

Why was he back here? But he said he was going to take care of his grieving mistress and of course in a hotel room. 

So why..

Either way, I walked to our entrance and held the door open. 

But the view I met in my living room made my mouth wide agape and my being shattered into several pieces.