Chapter 5: Not him. Not now

~Rose ~

Lucas was still wrapped around me, his little hand locked around my neck while we walked aimlessly on the street.

The rain had stopped, but everything was still wet, my clothes clung to me like a second skin, my shoes squelched with every step, and my hair was dripping down the sides of my face.

I was exhausted.

My arms hurt.

My feet hurt.

But I couldn’t stop.

“Mama?” His sleepy voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“Where are we going?”

I swallowed.

“We are going to see someone.”

“Who?”

“Your teacher.”

His head lifted immediately.

“Miss Emily?”

I smiled faintly.

His face brightened.

“Can we see her?”

“That’s what I’m hoping for, honey.”

I brushed his hair back and kissed his forehead.

Miss Emily had always been kind to Lucas.

She was one of the few people who genuinely loved him. Whenever I picked him up from school, she’d always stopped me to tell me something funny he had done that day.

He adored her too.

So, when I figured I was barely ten minutes away from her street, it was the only place I could think of.

I was desperate, hoping for a miracle, just anything.

I walked up the small concrete path and knocked.

Once.

Then twice.

The door opened a few seconds later.

Miss Emily’s eyes widened.

“Rose?”

I stared back at her soaked, exhausted, and probably looking like I hadn’t slept in a week.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I know it’s late.”

Her eyes dropped to Lucas, who immediately rushed to hug her and she instantly understood the tension.

She lifted him up and hugged him tightly despite his wet body. “Oh my goodness, Lucas baby.”

“Come… come, come inside,” She opened her door wider. “You must be freezing.”

She studied me while wrapping a thick towel around Lucas. “What happened, Rose?”

I hesitated just a little but I eventually told her the truth.

“What?”

Her expression changed immediately.

“That’s very unlike Mr Scott. He has always been nice to you.”

“Well people do change, don't they?”

“I just need somewhere for him to sleep.” I said, the words felt humiliating coming out of my mouth. “Even if it’s only tonight.”

She didn’t even hesitate.

“Of course, Lucas can stay with us. Though the house is a bit crowded, but there's always space for him.”

I nearly broke down on the spot.

“You would do that for me?” I asked, my breath cracking.

“Yes.” She said with a warm smile. “My kids adore him. They will love to have him around.”

She glanced down at him. “Don’t worry, he’ll be happy and safe here.”

That did it.

Tears slipped free despite my fight to hold them back.

I hugged her tightly, and I tried not to break down on her shoulder. “Thank you… Thank you so much. You don’t know what you have done for me.”

I looked at Lucas, he was already smiling.

“Can I stay with Miss Emily, Mama?”

That broke me.

I crouched in front of him.

“Only for tonight, okay?”

He nodded.

“Okay.”

I hugged him tightly and kissed him about a thousand times.

“Listen to me. Mama loves you more than anything in this world baby.”

“I love you too.”

He wrapped his arms around my neck. And I closed my eyes.

For a moment, I let myself pretend everything was fine, even though my heart felt like it was being ripped straight out of my chest.

Then I pulled away.

“I’ll come for you tomorrow.”

“You promise?”

I forced a smile.

“I promise, baby.”

After I handed Lucas over, Emily offered me some dry clothes before I stepped into the cold street again. But this time, I felt emptier than ever.

It was almost ten pm. I knew the post office would be closed and I had nowhere to go.

I was alone with only twenty dollars left in my pocket.

I briefly thought of going to a hotel but that would be too expensive, I probably won’t be able to get a room.

Maybe a motel. Yeah, that was my only option.

Just for a night. I told myself as I slowly walked down the street.

Just one lonely, miserable night.

But just then, as if the universe wanted to shove me further into my misery.

My phone vibrated.

I answered.

“Where are you, Rose?” The voice on the other end came.

And my heart immediately sank into my ribs.

I would recognize that voice from anywhere, the same voice that has haunted me in my dreams every night for seven years, the same voice I’d tried so hard never to hear again.

“Archer.”