ログインBiancaEvery color of the rainbow rushes to my face, and though I try to decipher what that makes me feel, I can be certain it is not the same thing I feel when the others say it. Because he does it differently, his tone is different, his look is different, and it doesn't feel like an offense, but perhaps like a compliment.My hands drop to my sides, and he takes them to guide them to my breasts, making me cup my own breasts, and the sensation feels strange to me."Touch yourself, Bianca," he begs in murmurs that warm my blood, "touch yourself and realize how magnificent you are." He guides my thumbs to my nipples and makes me stroke them in small circles. "Discover yourself, *dolcezza*, explore yourself, become the absolute owner of your own body, of your pleasure."My brain is a chaos of confusing sensations and conflicting thoughts—a deadly mixture of bitter memories fighting to break through to the surface, but being overshadowed by Fabrizio’s whispers, by his sweet yet erotic wor
BiancaFabrizio’s request leaves me dismayed. I do not know how to handle this situation; on one hand, I love him, I desire him, my body reacts to his in an almost magical way; but on the other hand, my mind keeps telling me that I do not deserve him, that I am too damaged, too dirty for him; besides, I cannot stop thinking about the consequences, about what could happen to him if something goes wrong and about the emotional toll my heart will suffer when I have to say goodbye to him, because of one thing I am certain: this is temporary."I don't know if... if..." The words get stuck in my throat, and he smiles—that smile with perfect dimples."I just want to bathe you, Bianca," he clarifies, "I don't expect anything else.""Why?" I ask with curiosity."Why do you want to bathe?" he retorts. "Why do you feel the need to bathe right now?"His question confronts me, forcing me to look within myself, but I do not need to dig very deep to find the answer."Because I feel dirty, because th
BiancaHis expression contorts; he looks at me without understanding anything, and I just want the earth to open up and swallow me whole right this fucking second. Because I can feel their hands on my body again, their mouths on my skin, their sickening breaths, their filthy members rubbing against me, defiling my mouth, and once again that damned smell of bleach over my body, in my mouth, the viscosity sliding down my throat.All the disgusting sensations rush back. I can no longer resist, and I sprint toward the bathroom, where I empty the entire contents of my stomach.Fabrizio holds my hair back and strokes my back while I vomit. When there is nothing left to bring up, a glass of water is handed to me so I can rinse out my mouth, and then he pulls me against his chest to rest.We stay right there, collapsed on the cold bathroom floor, while I cry and he rocks me."Who, Bianca?" he asks after a few minutes, his voice sounding as broken as mine."All his men," I confess, defeated. "
BiancaI do not know how much time passes. It could be seconds, it could be minutes, it could be hours, it could be years; I honestly do not know. I only know that he is here, that he remains here, that he has not gone away, that he has not left me, that he is there for me. For the first time, I feel like I have someone entirely for myself.When the crying, the sobbing, and the trembling begin to subside, I venture out from the hollow of his neck, which has become my refuge, and with all the shame in the world, I dare to look at him, praying that I will still find the same adoration in his eyes. To my surprise, it is there—even stronger, I think, with even more intensity. But there is also something else: a darkness I did not know.He strokes my cheek with his knuckles and then wipes away my tears with his thumb. The warmth his skin transmits is healing."I am going to kill him, Bianca," he declares with startling coldness. "You need to know that I am going to kill him. But first, I n
BiancaI never thought silence could feel so unsettling, but it is; this silence that has settled between Fabrizio and me is killing me.We got back to his house after having dinner with Arianna and Enzo, and I don't understand why he insists on keeping me here when it's obvious he now despises me."I'll go get my things so you can take me to a hotel," I state, trying to head toward the bedroom, but he catches my arm to stop me."What are you talking about?" he asks, looking upset."I want you to take me to a hotel, Fabrizio.""I have no intention of taking you to a hotel," he replies flatly."Perfect, then tell one of your men to do it or call me a taxi; it's all the same.""You are not going anywhere, Bianca.""I want to leave!" I raise my voice, beginning to lose my composure."Why?!""Because I can't stand being here with you like this anymore!""Like what?!""Despising me!" I completely lose my sanity, and he looks at me in surprise."What the hell are you talking about? I could
Bianca"I won't survive that, Arianna. If I can't even survive him now, imagine dozens of different men every night. I can't, Ari, I can't." I grow frantic just imagining it; the nightmares return and intensify, and I break down in tears, unable to contain it for even a second longer. "Nor can I give him a child. I cannot bring a child into this world to suffer under the yoke of that monster. I would rather die."I am increasingly convinced that is the only solution. My back is against the wall, and besides, I no longer want to live like this. I have endured too much already."Don't say that, B; we're going to do something, we're going to help you. Just hold on a little longer.""I don't know if I can; I'm in a dead end.""We'll find a way out, you'll see."I know she's only trying to help, but I also know neither of us can do anything. My life was sentenced the moment I was born, and every man who has defiled me has made sure I know it.For a long time I clung to hope; for a long tim
AriannaI approached slowly and gasped when I saw a framed picture of Stella on the bed, as if Enzo had slept with it or something similar. On the vanity, there were perfumes and women's items. I started searching through the drawers and found underwear and a thousand other things. In the closet, t
AriannaI couldn’t swallow a single bite. The nausea rolled through me in waves, and every time I lifted the fork to my mouth my throat closed like a fist. I pushed eggs around the plate, pretending, because I knew I had to eat—for both of us now.“Not hungry again?” Gina’s voice cut across the kit
Arianna"Ari, stop, and get out of that bed. Change your clothes; we're going to have dinner.""I don't want to have dinner." I turn around again to ignore him.He sighs, and I feel when he stands up."Arianna, I'm serious, change your clothes.""No, I told you!" I raise my voice and sit up. "You c
AriannaI wake up with a slight tingling on my neck and don't need to open my eyes to know who it is; his scent gives him away."I have to go," he whispers in my ear.I stretch and open my eyes to meet his. His hair is damp, which tells me he is freshly showered, and I regret not having joined him.







