LOGINHe sets his rough hand on my cheek and caresses it with his thumb moments before our lips make contact.
The feeling is electrifying, thrilling, and an absolute pleasure.
I can’t believe this is my very first kiss, and I can’t wrap my head around just how good it feels.
However, I fear I may be clumsy and awkward. I don’t even know how to go about it even though Cole leads me well.
His other hand creeps to my waist, and some weird mix of sensations spread from my stomach to between my legs, where all of a sudden feels too wet.
“Something’s wrong with me,” I mutter against Cole’s lips. “I’m wetting my panties. Is that alright?”
The man huffs a smile. I feel his breath fan my face in a good way. “Nothing is wrong with you, Lilac,” he says soothingly while leaning back, still caressing my cheek. “What you are experiencing is the start of pleasure.” Cole suddenly frowns. “Hold on a sec. You haven’t been intimate before?”
I shake my head nervously.
“Then you have a long way to go, Lilac.”
I lean into the man, wrapping both hands around his shoulders. “Show me. Please.”
I watch Cole’s Adam’s apple bobble as he gulps hard, and I smile inwardly. I love the fact that he’s having a good hard time because of me.
However, he takes me unawares when he suddenly pecks my lips. “You’ve got to go home now. It’s late.” He crosses my hands off his shoulders but doesn’t let them go as he stands up. “Come on.” He pulls me to my feet. “I’ll put you in a cab.”
I groan out my displeasure. Although I just want to finish what we started right here and now, I’m still happy about how this night turned out.
Henceforth, I know things are about to change.
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Getting reading for school never felt so refreshing. Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I scrutinize my looks.
I’ve always been proud of my ebony black hair and my brown eyes, but I’ve not been more grateful than I am that I’m quite thick and really curvy.
My insecurities were my baby face and my overly pale skin. But, seeing as the person I like likes me back, I can now look at the mirror and smile at my reflection.
“Hi, Mom!" I greet as I walk past the kitchen.
I don’t bother looking at her, but Mom seems to have laid one glance at me and judged.
“What are you putting on, Lily? That is too slutty for school.”
Too slutty?
A fitted long-sleeved top tucked into a mini skirt, fashioned with a pair of lace leggings and a pair of knee-length boots, is slutty?
I look down at myself. Well, maybe it is, but who cares? I’ve been wearing extra large outfits since last year, after all.
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“We need to submit our literature projects, and the course prefect is absent,” one student presents a problem. I do know why it’s a problem.
“Due to his grumpy habit, I fear Dr. Cole would strangle me if I should step into his office. I rather forfeit the project than go there,” another whines.
“Who will go then?”
There are murmurs for a while before...
“Wait! Everyone! Dr. Cole eases up with Lilac. She surely is his best student and may as well be the course prefect. Let her submit the assignments.”
“Perfect idea.”
“Wait… what?” I try to protest, but, in truth, I was waiting to be elected.
“Do not worry, Lilac. If you don’t return, we’ll write the perfect eulogy for you. It’s literature, remember?”
I smile. Ironic.
If there’s anybody whom a eulogy should be written for, it’s Cole. He’s the one who’s about to be murdered by my looks, anyways.
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I knock once on his office door.
“Come in,” I hear him say, and my heart skips a beat.
I let myself in and dump the pile of project works in a corner of his desk, setting my hands on the table and leaning on it.
“There’s the homework. Your students are afraid to meet you.”
Cole regards me for a while. His eyes shift to my breasts, where the material is hiding my cleavages, but the outline is still pretty visible. Then he looks down at a script he’s marking.
“Why so?”
“They say you’re the reaper. You dismember heads and hearts, they say.”
“Then why aren’t you scared?” Cole pauses his marking and starts stabbing his pen on the paper, seeming lost in thoughts.
“Cos I want to see the reaper in you come out,” I respond.
“Fuck it!” Cole grunts and shifts the scripts aside. Then he pushes his swivel chair backwards so that there is enough space between him and the desk. “Come here.” He taps his thigh.
Bloody hell! He wants me to sit on his lap.
“I have weight, you know,” I say in feigned hesitation.
Without saying anything, Cole reaches for my wrist and pulls me into his natural seat.
The connection between us starts to spark flames again. Goosebumps spread through my skin as butterflies dance in my belly.
He holds my jaw between his thumb and index finger and brings my head down so that we can kiss while I slip my hands around his neck.
I love the feeling of his other hand tracing my curves. And I love the feeling of pulsating down there as juices leak without my control.
Most of all, I love whatever it is I’m seated on. It’s hard and long and jerks from time to time.
I don’t need to ask Cole what it is so as not to sound too dumb. I need to use my common sense on this one. After all, what else would be on his crotch aside from his manhood?
I guess I’m not on the list of strong soldiers. Because right now Cole and I are seated across from each other in a coffee shop, coffee running cold, fingers twirling on the table, gazes shifting, and words hanging above our heads.“Why did you disappear?” I finally break the silence. My voice has turned hoarse, and that’s the only thing that neutralizes the slight harshness in my tone.“I had to.”“That’s not an explanation.” Now there’s where the harsh tone emerged.“I thought staying would make things worse for you, and I couldn’t bear that.”I huff. “Why do I find it hard to believe the first part of that sentence? You thought leaving was for my own good, but it wasn’t.” My eyes glisten with tears again. “Do you know what I had to go through? You ran away and escaped it all, while I stayed and faced it to the last of it. And you weren’t there to comfort me. It would have been easier had you been there. But, no, you chickened out like a coward, and now you have the guts to waltz in
Lilac.
Adrian.I did not leave because I wanted to. I left because staying would have ruined her.The day I resigned, I chose not to linger or allow myself to think because I knew that if I did, I might not leave at all.My colleague had tried to dissuade me from leaving the country.“You do know you can get a job in any school of your choice in this country, right?” the man said. “You are a high-demand teacher, Adrian. You rejected being a professor because you thought you were too young to become one. New Savors College is weeping to have lost you. And I’m pretty sure they would have expelled the student instead if that wouldn’t raise an unfairness alarm.”“That is exactly what I do not want. I want Lilac to finish her studies.”“Why are you protecting her anyway?"“Because I’ve fallen in love with her, and I can’t bear to see her in pain.”My colleague scoffed hard. “If you love her, you won’t leave the country at all. You’d stay to continue your relationship with her.”“I can’t.” Yes, I
Although the world shut down for a while when Cole left me, I’m determined not to make that a habit—I mean, even though Cole’s apology drops out of nowhere, or even if he appears right in front of my face.That determination is the hardest part of living, as classes continued, assignments piled up, and life moved forward with a kind of indifference that felt almost cruel.For the past weeks, I had been partially existing in fragments: physically present, emotionally somewhere else.Now, I want to shut out the whispers and judgments, and I’m getting accustomed to finding myself in the front seats.It’s not because I want to be seen, but because hiding did not save me.So what’s the point of hiding?“You’re different,” a course mate of mine notes one afternoon as I study in the library.I look up from my book to see her sitting across me, her elbows resting on the desk as she leans forward as if scrutinizing me.She has the guts to approach me, and I want to reply to her with ‘How’s tha
I gave the driver the address to my own apartment. On the way, I still find it needful to keep calling Cole. The first few times, it went to voicemail, then the number started being unavailable.Now it just says ‘UNREGISTERED USER’ the moment I dial the number.He either blocked me or unregistered his number. I want to believe it’s the latter for the sake of my sanity, but it still doesn’t make things feel better.I try sending a text message to the number, but it says ‘message failed to send.'I even try sending him a DM, which proves unsuccessful as well. He has blocked me in all places. He doesn’t want to associate with me anymore. Is there something I did wrong? Is there something I said that provoked him? But now I’ll never get to know, will I?Out of anger, I toss my phone out the window. We had just started crossing a bridge, so the phone probably dived into the sea. I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck… At least, that’s what I try to tell myself.I don’t know how I’ll ever recove
“You should go. I have a lot to finish,” Cole says while diverting his eyes to his work.I try to draw close to his desk. “How about a kiss?”“We cannot be intimate on school grounds anymore, Lilac.” His tone sounds harsh, pissed even.“Okay…” I pull back. “Fine. I’ll… see you at your apartment, then?”Cole takes time to nod a response, and he isn’t still looking at me.I don’t know… I don’t get this new attitude of his. Is it that he’s trying not to show that he’s angry, or he’s just plain pissed at me?Anyways, I leave his office, and I meet the students crowded in the hallway.Walking through them, I try to shut out their voices and keep my eyes focused on my way, but that proves impossible.It’s as if everyone is talking at my face. My vision blurs, clangor attacks my hearing, yet that doesn’t mean I don’t see the faces zooming in on mine, or the gazes that have become sharper, or the loud whispers that intone their displeasure.“You’re just a student!” they say.“Dating your lect
Lilac.At twenty, I had mastered the art of staying invisible.I move slowly between two rows in the crowded lecture hall as my eyes scan the seats for a column with scarce students, or less high-class people.Once I find it in the fourth to the first column, I take my seat and bend my head over my
Between Cole standing quiet and still next to me and the dean glaring at us from the comfort of his spectacles, there’s tension. High, formidable tension.Inviting us to his office and making us stand in front of his desk for minutes in silence is enough punishment, but now looking at us like we’re
Our relationship… Oh my god! I can’t believe I’m in a relationship with Cole… has progressed well so far.He brings me to his house on Friday night, and it happened impromptu because I was already spending the weekend with my parents before he called. Still, I told Mom that my mates are organizing
Cole suddenly looks away, glancing at his wrist watch once again. “You shouldn’t stay back this late every time,” he mumbles as he sits up to gather his papers.“Why?” I ask, though I already know.The lecturer’s jaw tightens. “Because people talk.”I huff. “Why do you seem nervous, Dr. Cole? Only







