All Chapters of DO I HAVE A THING WITH MY PROFESSOR?: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

12 Chapters

FIRST GLANCE

Lilac.At twenty, I had mastered the art of staying invisible.I move slowly between two rows in the crowded lecture hall as my eyes scan the seats for a column with scarce students, or less high-class people.Once I find it in the fourth to the first column, I take my seat and bend my head over my notebook, scribbling words I barely understand.It’s not like I’m not smart. I am. But life has taught me to shrink. It has made me get used to avoiding attention and existing quietly.Well, until him…Silence follows the new lecturer the moment he walks in. Usually, I wouldn’t care about that. But this particular moment stuns me. It captures my attention despite the deafening quietness.And I’m not the only one.While the others wow in their amazement, mine lingers in my head, leaking into my heart and forming a big ball of light that threatens to explode through my eyes.The man standing on the podium is nothing like the lecturers I’ve met in my two years of being in college.He’s differe

DANGEROUS CURIOSITY

The students started to disperse the moment the lecture ended. But I sat tight. And I’m still sitting tight, resting my elbows on the desk as I watch Cole pack his stuff.Once done, he sits down behind the desk. I assume he’s waiting for the hall to clear out before leaving. So, I’ll wait with him.The students cover Cole from time to time as they line out, but I manage to spy him from between them.When they have completely exited the hall, I realize I’m staring directly at the man, and he’s not shying away from my stare either.The old me would have looked down shyly. I would have chuckled out of embarrassment, and my face would be flushed red already. But none of these are the case now.Instead, there’s a strange adrenaline spreading through me, trying to convince me to spring to my feet and dart to this man.Should I call it love adrenaline?Wait… love? Isn’t that stretching too far?Where the hell did I get this courage, by the way?“Ms. Stone,” the lecturer suddenly speaks up, h

CROSSING THE LINE

Cole suddenly looks away, glancing at his wrist watch once again. “You shouldn’t stay back this late every time,” he mumbles as he sits up to gather his papers.“Why?” I ask, though I already know.The lecturer’s jaw tightens. “Because people talk.”I huff. “Why do you seem nervous, Dr. Cole? Only a nervous or anxious person cares about what people say, so why do you care?”He hesitates to respond, avoiding my eyes as much as possible. That alone is answer enough.“I cannot deny having anxiety over these meetings, Ms. Stone, because they have grown too informal,” Cole finally replies. “If we are to have more one-on-one classes, I would prefer you meet me in my office, where there is a mini lecture hall available.”“Dr. Cole, are you saying you don’t feel this… friction between us… as much as I do? You asked me why I changed all of a sudden. What if it’s not about your lectures but about you? What if… what if I like you?”Cole rounds up stacking his property into his bag and zips it up

FIRST PEAK

He sets his rough hand on my cheek and caresses it with his thumb moments before our lips make contact.The feeling is electrifying, thrilling, and an absolute pleasure.I can’t believe this is my very first kiss, and I can’t wrap my head around just how good it feels.However, I fear I may be clumsy and awkward. I don’t even know how to go about it even though Cole leads me well.His other hand creeps to my waist, and some weird mix of sensations spread from my stomach to between my legs, where all of a sudden feels too wet.“Something’s wrong with me,” I mutter against Cole’s lips. “I’m wetting my panties. Is that alright?”The man huffs a smile. I feel his breath fan my face in a good way. “Nothing is wrong with you, Lilac,” he says soothingly while leaning back, still caressing my cheek. “What you are experiencing is the start of pleasure.” Cole suddenly frowns. “Hold on a sec. You haven’t been intimate before?”I shake my head nervously.“Then you have a long way to go, Lilac.”I

THE FALL

Our relationship… Oh my god! I can’t believe I’m in a relationship with Cole… has progressed well so far.He brings me to his house on Friday night, and it happened impromptu because I was already spending the weekend with my parents before he called. Still, I told Mom that my mates are organizing night classes once in a while. I hope she doesn’t perceive the deceit.Cole cooks dinner, and I watch him from the comfort of the living room with a smile as he moves around the kitchen.I spend that entire weekend with him. I only go home during the afternoons to feed Mom more lies about night classes.The weekend soon bows out into a new week.It’s already a week and a few days since Cole and I started dating. To celebrate that, I prepare breakfast in bed for him.Cole, who was once going through his phone in bed, sees me coming with the food tray and immediately sits up.“What do you have there?” he asks with a smile.“Just a little something?” I respond, turning into a nervous and giggl

MAKING CHOICES

Between Cole standing quiet and still next to me and the dean glaring at us from the comfort of his spectacles, there’s tension. High, formidable tension.Inviting us to his office and making us stand in front of his desk for minutes in silence is enough punishment, but now looking at us like we’re shite and then turning his laptop for us to see what’s on the screen… that’s absolute evil.“You do realize this isn’t something that should appear on a school’s platform, right?” he asks us.We say nothing.I mean, what are we supposed to say? It’s the truth. What’s on the screen is the root of the chaos. Somehow, Cole managed to mistakenly show the note he captured this morning on the projector screen while lecturing. Students took a picture of it and spread it on the school’s official platform.Now the news has gone far. There’s no stopping it.“Are the speculations true or not?” the dean asks. “You have to say your truths because it won’t be fun when the investigation team takes over t

MY ADRIAN

“You should go. I have a lot to finish,” Cole says while diverting his eyes to his work.I try to draw close to his desk. “How about a kiss?”“We cannot be intimate on school grounds anymore, Lilac.” His tone sounds harsh, pissed even.“Okay…” I pull back. “Fine. I’ll… see you at your apartment, then?”Cole takes time to nod a response, and he isn’t still looking at me.I don’t know… I don’t get this new attitude of his. Is it that he’s trying not to show that he’s angry, or he’s just plain pissed at me?Anyways, I leave his office, and I meet the students crowded in the hallway.Walking through them, I try to shut out their voices and keep my eyes focused on my way, but that proves impossible.It’s as if everyone is talking at my face. My vision blurs, clangor attacks my hearing, yet that doesn’t mean I don’t see the faces zooming in on mine, or the gazes that have become sharper, or the loud whispers that intone their displeasure.“You’re just a student!” they say.“Dating your lect

LOVE HURTS LIKE HELL

I gave the driver the address to my own apartment. On the way, I still find it needful to keep calling Cole. The first few times, it went to voicemail, then the number started being unavailable.Now it just says ‘UNREGISTERED USER’ the moment I dial the number.He either blocked me or unregistered his number. I want to believe it’s the latter for the sake of my sanity, but it still doesn’t make things feel better.I try sending a text message to the number, but it says ‘message failed to send.'I even try sending him a DM, which proves unsuccessful as well. He has blocked me in all places. He doesn’t want to associate with me anymore. Is there something I did wrong? Is there something I said that provoked him? But now I’ll never get to know, will I?Out of anger, I toss my phone out the window. We had just started crossing a bridge, so the phone probably dived into the sea. I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck… At least, that’s what I try to tell myself.I don’t know how I’ll ever recove

IT DOESN'T MATTER

Although the world shut down for a while when Cole left me, I’m determined not to make that a habit—I mean, even though Cole’s apology drops out of nowhere, or even if he appears right in front of my face.That determination is the hardest part of living, as classes continued, assignments piled up, and life moved forward with a kind of indifference that felt almost cruel.For the past weeks, I had been partially existing in fragments: physically present, emotionally somewhere else.Now, I want to shut out the whispers and judgments, and I’m getting accustomed to finding myself in the front seats.It’s not because I want to be seen, but because hiding did not save me.So what’s the point of hiding?“You’re different,” a course mate of mine notes one afternoon as I study in the library.I look up from my book to see her sitting across me, her elbows resting on the desk as she leans forward as if scrutinizing me.She has the guts to approach me, and I want to reply to her with ‘How’s tha

I'M SORRY

Adrian.I did not leave because I wanted to. I left because staying would have ruined her.The day I resigned, I chose not to linger or allow myself to think because I knew that if I did, I might not leave at all.My colleague had tried to dissuade me from leaving the country.“You do know you can get a job in any school of your choice in this country, right?” the man said. “You are a high-demand teacher, Adrian. You rejected being a professor because you thought you were too young to become one. New Savors College is weeping to have lost you. And I’m pretty sure they would have expelled the student instead if that wouldn’t raise an unfairness alarm.”“That is exactly what I do not want. I want Lilac to finish her studies.”“Why are you protecting her anyway?"“Because I’ve fallen in love with her, and I can’t bear to see her in pain.”My colleague scoffed hard. “If you love her, you won’t leave the country at all. You’d stay to continue your relationship with her.”“I can’t.” Yes, I

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