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Chapter 51
"You blame yourself?" Anna asked, her intriguing gaze deepened into me.
"Shouldn't I?"
"I don't have to tell you that I think that you shouldn't. There are many things that you should blame yourself for. But I genuinely do not think that is one of them. You couldn't have possibly known that all of this would happen." Again, I don't know how many times that I have heard the same thing, I just don't know if I will ever believe it.
"I don't know if there is a way to start saying sorry. I want to apologize to him, but knowing Isaiah he would do anything for me to understand that it isn't my fault. But that would only make me feel more guilty."
"Because, it isn't your fault. I am sure it is not just me that has told you this Alexis. You have to start believing that you can do this. That you can be better than this depressing and self deprecating personality that you always seem to have."
"It is kind of an instinct for me. I have had mu
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Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 52
After being present and hearing what Anna had to say, it dawned on me that this whole situation was as serious as it got. In fact, I knew for definite that I was going to have to gather up what ever residing courage I had left in me to be able to do this. I was making my way back to Isaiah's room, because he was right as always, I struggled to be away from him for more than twenty minutes. Perhaps it was that nagging feeling at the back of my head that always seemed to always think the worst when it came to him. Nevertheless, it was something that I was willing and fully wanting to do.Reaching his door I placed a little knock in it, which was returned by a faint come in. I unlocked the door and walked inside and what befalls me slightly winded me. In front of me was Isaiah's room but it was not as I knew it. There were flower petals trailed on the floor that led up to a table. A table that was filled with delicious, succulent looking food. A table that had a vase of fl
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 53
I slipped on the dress, the red fabric clung to my curves like a vice. Zee knew her style, of course, she did, if someone looked that good then they would be bound to have an amazing wardrobe to match it. The scarlet red bodycon dress matched and hugged every ounce of my curves, properly and I felt good in it. As in extremely good in it.I looked back at myself in the mirror. Isaiah. Isaiah was going to love me in this. Staring back at me, I wiped the tiredness from my eyes and let my curly hair bounced downwards. If it was not for this dress, I would look like plain old me.Nevertheless, I took a deep breath in, inhaling and exhaling all the negative energy that swirled and rose up inside of me. It was time to be with Isaiah. Unlocking the bathroom door, I looked, seeing Isaiah seemingly busy with making sure the final touches were on point. There he was working readily with everything that was in front of him. Making sure that the petals were placed correctly, and th
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 54
"So, why did you create this wonderful dinner for me?" I smiled up at Isaiah, taking quick glances at my food. On my plate was pasta, tomato sauce and what looked like a side of a different array of vegetables topped with cheese. All in all, it looked perfect."What, I can't treat my beautiful girlfriend to something good? Especially someone that I have not seen in months." Despite there being a playfully smile on his handsome face, I could not swallow down the guilt rising up in me.Quickly, I responded. "Well, it is not exactly clear with what your intentions were first of all. But, if it is just solely, honestly, and wholeheartedly just that. Then I completely and fully approved. " I twirled up some pasta around my fork and proceeded to feed him with it. Taking the cue and the hint, he opened his mouth, still with a small smile draped onto his lips, I popped it in, and he took in the food, with a satisfied smirk on his face. "This is turning into a Lady and the Tram
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 55
"And I can't differentiate them from you. I can't tell reality apart from fiction. It is as if something is blocking me from making the right decision. Sometimes I will be reminiscing and reveling in your memory. And when I think that is you, and when I am sure it is you. You then disappear like a pillar and cloud of smoke. Just gone, as if you have been released from my grasp. I am struggling to separate reality from fiction. Sometimes even when I open my eyes, I still can't tell it apart.""Can you tell it apart now?"It was only then and now that his eyes awoke from the haze that it was currently in, and he looked at me. As if he could see right through me, as if he could see everything about me. My whole life story, my emotions, how I was feeling. That was one thing that I loved about Isaiah, he always knew how to make me feel more than. He always knew how to make me feel like I was worth something. He always made me feel seen. He gave me a small smile. "There is n
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 56
His grip on my waist only tightened, as his arms spread around me like a grip vice. The harder he wrapped his arms around me, the more I would feel all of the happy and good emotions that were always coursing through my veins and my entire body. His hand gripped the side of my face, and forced me to look at home. Directly at him, the fierceness in his eyes was riveting and I knew instantly that I wanted more and more of it. Of him. "It is because you are broken and damaged. That is one of the traits I love the most about you."That was not the response that I expected. It was also not the response that I necessary wanted too. I could feel my eyebrows crease. "Oh, so the only reason you are with me, is because I am damaged. So therefore, I am easy to mold and I am more malleable and impressionable to what you want and what you say, really, Isaiah, is that it?" I don't know, something in me turned and I was about to pull away. But quickly, his grip on me only tightened.
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 57
I watched her facial expression. I don't know why but I was expecting surprise of some sort, or perhaps some slither of guilt. But I got nothing, her face was as blank as anything. No emotions or anything was revealed. There was nothing close to what I thought I would evidently get. "Alexis. Miss Reign." The swap of my name to something more formal was enough to make me nervous. It was clear that she only did that to people that she did not like, and I would be lying if I said that I wanted to join the entourage of those people. So I did what I could, I plastered a fake smile on my face, to somewhat relax me, but to also relax her. To make her think that this was a suggestion not an accusation. "For you to even think that I would go something that abrasive and destruction to this world makes me feel as if you do not trust me enough. And if we do not have trust in the basis of everything, then I am sorry, Alexis. But I would have to find someone else to do it. I would have to find so
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 58
I watched Zee, taking in her facial expression. There was no hint of amusement, this sounded serious, as in the serious that I was not ready to follow through. I was scared of what she would say. I wanted to avoid any talk of anything negative or bad right now, I was not ready for it. I had to decline her offer, not because I hated or disliked talking to Zee. It was because I had a feeling, than negative nagging feeling that I always felt when I knew that I was going to be roped into a conversation or a talk that would involve me opening out, and pouring out my emotions. I did not want that. "Zee, I do not want any of that, not right now at least. Please." I was trying to walk away, when she quickly grabbed my arm, stopping me from advancing in anything, like walking away from her. But I felt there was a deeper reason, like me avoiding any talk of anything personal."No, Alexis. Please. We need to talk about this. You can not run or escape from this."A couple of
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 59
"I do not know what you want me to say Zee." But I knew exactly what she wanted me to say and I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to say something, anything that had some type of substance. I wanted to say something that represented how I felt inside. I mean I knew what she wanted, but I was not sure if exactly that, that I could give it to her. I was still conflicted as to how and why I did that. I was in such a trance like state that it did not even cross my life who or what that I would be living behind. But regardless, what was done was done. Now all I could do was fathom how and if that gun contained the real bullets, then what? What would happen then? And what would I do then? I would have left everyone and everything I love, I would have left all of them behind. Godness, I can not even think about something like that, it was almost too much and too hard to bear."I know that you know what you want to say, Alexis. I know how you feel. Truly, I do. But if
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