Chapter 5

"Well, for the record," He also stood up while suppressing his intense annoyance.  “I am not like the heroes in the novels who are rich. They have their chopper that they immediately came as if they were teleporting right away once they were asked to go home to the province.  I am not rich.  I'm not perfect.  I am not like the men in the novel.  Deal with it!  If you can not… ”

He suddenly stopped speaking.  Where will that conversation go?  Why does the outcome seem so bad?  Yes, some of his words are lies, but he needs it to prove something.  Are those men who are not perfect have no right to be loved?  He felt sorry for those men.  What if he was one of the men who was not lucky?

“Then what?  If I can no longer take it, will you leave me?  All right, that's fine.  After all, I don't need a man who can't love me the way I want to be loved. ”

And there.

He had heard enough.

She doesn’t need him because he can’t afford to be like the heroes in the novel.  That also means that she cannot love him because he cannot reach her standards.  And he did not like that kind of love. 

Love with reaching standards.

That hurts. 

Because he just took the woman seriously, and this is the outcome.  Is this the so-called karma?  He also plays with his flings, so now… he was as if being played and thrown away after.

Ah!  This is not the kind of relationship he wants!

“Yeah.  I think we should part ways for a while.  We need to both think about everything.”

And without hesitation, he left her in the garden.  He briefly looked for Kattie's parents and said goodbye.  He also took his bag pack, and Kattie did not even stop him even when he was about to ride the tricycle that passed by.

His rising anger started to intensify as he walked away from Kattie's house.  And that only increased when he remembered Spring Solitaire’s descriptions of its heroes in her works.  He had read some of the paperbacks made by Kattie's favorite writer because he wanted to have an idea about his girlfriend's obsession.

He can beat those characters.  But he prefers to stay away from fictional characters because he wants to prove to himself that Kattie can love him no matter what he is.

But he must have made a mistake.  Kattie is so addicted to the literature that she applies them in real life.  She had a mindset that love is similar to the novels of her favorite writer.

He clenched his palms tightly in extreme irritation.  There is only one thing he should blame for all that. Kattie had high standards because that author influenced her.  Even with the type of heroine, the writer has her standards. And he thinks Kattie is modeling herself in there.  Wholesome, but combative.

But it's also not bad if a woman can think wild, right?

He remembered the woman in the coffee shop again, that hot, s*xy, and wild woman.  He smiled to himself and slowly released the clenched palms.  Just thinking of her brings hot in him.  Maybe, Spring Solitaire is not like that woman.  The author is probably inexperienced because he has never read a love scene in any of her novels—usually just a light kiss at the end of the story.  Sometimes there is none.

And he thinks that was unfair to the hero of the novel.  Masculine, hot, and sexy. Wealthy, smart, and successful.  When the men are like that, and they just ended up going to the woman who can't even be touched, isn't it like a loss?

Well, he thinks, Spring Solitaire should be preached.  Her writings are not fair.

“Get ready for me, Spring Solitaire.  I will hunt you down. ”

“HEY,  Spring?  What are you wearing?  That’s too… ”

"S*xy?"  Shean laughs at what her friend and co-writer Summer is saying.

She was wearing a peach fitted mini-dress in half-thigh length.  She paired it with a two and a half inches wedge.  She also has simple bling on the right arm and a thin white strapped watch on the left.

"I'll just remind you that you are going to your book signing event and  not in a seducing den."

She stared at Summer.  “I just want a change.  You know, erotic novels are in trend today.  I just want to give my readers a hint that I’m planning to get out of the box. ”

She already did.  The first erotic novel she was writing was almost done. She was delighted because she only finished it in nearly two weeks.  That fast!

It's really different when there is an inspiration in everything you did.

“But you can still do it in some ways and not that way.  Look!  Almost everybody who saw you were having a second glance. They were distracted anywhere we go.  Some of them suddenly become a giraffe as they look at you. ”

Shean laughed.  And of course, she knew. 

She really knew it.

She hasn’t displayed her legs. Often, she would hide them in her jeans that she usually wears. That is why her legs were so white and smooth. Who wouldn’t be distracted upon seeing her smooth, white legs?

"Let them drool over."

Summer just shook her head.  She understands her friend is too conservative.  That's why they get along so well. They share the same thoughts and mindset, plus they had the same weird pen name.

But she just recently thought that she wanted a change in herself.  So what if she wears daring clothes? If she does not act indecent, no one will try to harm her.

And speaking of bad.  It seems it was terrible for her to watch porn often. Hilarious thoughts were coming inside her brain.

See what happened to her at the cafeteria in the past.  Worldly desires play in her brain while entertaining a stranger.

She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Even though she is the only one who knows what she is thinking, it still feels humiliating. She is a woman.  And she was thinking of hot scenes with the man she had just met.

But hell, she can’t stop it!  A big part of her self has an excessive desire to see and meet the stranger again.  She wanted to feel his naked body clinging to her.  She wanted to inhale his fragrant scent.  Damn, she wants to kiss him.  Touch and feel the burning body of the handsome man who is always interfered in her imagination.

And she has been having trouble thinking about the man for three days.  She wants to regret that she did not find a way to know his name and whereabouts.

But because she does not have the guts to ask for his information, she didn’t dare to.  It was also as if she was bathed with shame when she realized that she was caught watching porn.  What must be the man think about her?

She did researches about intense s+x because she wants to write erotica.  She doesn’t just want to write, but she also wants her readers to feel the emotion she writes.  And how can she do that if she, herself, does not know the feelings of having s*x?  She knew it just by the word.  She knew the word orgasm, but the feeling of it was what she did not know.  She wants to describe that in her novels. And most probably, she wanted to feel and experienced it too.

And honestly, while she was researching, reading, and watching erotic and p*rn videos, she could not feel the orgasm referred to in her research.  She thought of watching p*rn in a public place because, as the saying goes, an unexpected situation happens at a random time and place.  Maybe in a place she did not expect, she will be ar*used while watching and reading.

Ugh. 

She had tried everything to feel that orgasm they told in the book.  She had tried all her might to handle the overflowing sensation.  But what she reads and watched is useless.  She was about to think she has abnormalities.

Well, she is not normal, anyway.  She is often weird to act and think. She is often suddenly transporting to her own world.

But what about how she feels? Is it still to have an abnormal perception? She did not feel lusting over somebody else, and that was wrong.  She would have thought she was frigid but a stranger scattered in front of her.  That man is the living proof that she still has hope.  And every time she remembered him, she could not stop the explosion of lust and need throughout her being.

She could not restrain herself from wanting to see him again and be with the man.  Inside her is an exploding desire to feel how to be kissed by someone like him.  She also wanted to feel the heat radiate throughout her fiber.  She wanted to feel his hand on her neck.

And while imagining that while walking, she did not realize that her fingers were already caressing her neck.  She was even surprised to hear the faint moan come out of her mouth.

“Damn!  Spring?! ”  Summer was shocked as she scolds her.  "What are you doing?"