ログインAloraI only have eight weeks left in the pregnancy. Only two more months until they will no longer be inside of me, so when he finds me and gets me, he won’t get them as well. So, now, I can see Killian is anxious to have me back at the pack. Part of that is because he’s afraid something will happen and it will take too long to get me to Dr. Martin in time. I have been thinking a lot over the last few days. He does so much for me. Do I think it’s wasted on us and there is no way in hell this will work out the way he wants. Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what he does or what he has been trying to do. “We should go back to the pack. I know you’re anxious about me not being close to Dr. Martin with the babies or pups, whatever, being due in such a short time. So, let’s go back so you can relax. We’ll see how things go, but Killian, please don’t expect a lot from all of this. This is about them, not so much about me.” He looked at me for a few moments, and then nodded h
Alora I felt like a nutcase. I am sure I acted like one at least part of the time as well. I had been trying really hard to pull myself back from this ledge I had been teetering on for weeks now. It wasn’t that my fear really abated, but perhaps I was able to work around it some. I don't honestly know. It had still been hard when Siril mounted Mani, but it was easier to try and separate myself out from what was happening. Killian helped as well. Then when I felt the tell tale movement of a baby fluttering in my abdomen, I had to just stop and catch my breath. Then I knew Killian was worried so I explained my reaction. Seeing him get all emotional and happy over the baby or one of the babies moving, surprised me. Then he told me he just needed to hold me when I explained why it had caught me the way it had. It had actually ended up helping me, and I hadn’t been able to say that about touch much in my life. I do remember before things went to shit with the whole pregnancy thing, he’d
KillianWe were doing good and having a pretty good night, so I hoped what I was about to ask wouldn’t mess that up, “I don’t want to upset you, but I know you are feeling some of the same things I am. Siril wants out and I have a feeling Mani does as well. We haven’t let them be out together in a while now. Do you think you would be able to handle that? You know what happens when they are around each other. I mean they have a problem not being all over each other, so you know that’s what would happen.” She paused for a moment, and I saw her getting pushed by Mani and she rolled her eyes, “Okay, she’s now about to have a fit as she wants out so bad. I know she hasn’t been out other than when you commanded her to shift, but you weren’t able to let Siril out with her that night. So, she’s not the one who has issues with all of everything, it’s me. She won’t run on you or anything you already know that. I have to just get used to them being together, as I don’t know what else to do.” I
AloraI am still attempting to wrap my head around the things Killian has told me about the pack. For me, family was and is dangerous. My own flesh and blood parents never protected me and in fact did the opposite. So, now, faced with another group of people and Rupert, I just keep thinking they are going to hand me over to him for their own gain. Now, logically I can see that Killian is right, that’s not fair to group them all together. However, logic has always been hard to maintain in the face of so much anxiety and fear. It’s like logic takes a freaking nose dive out the damn window and then you are left there alone and vulnerable with only the negative emotions swallowing you whole. I was shocked as hell when Killian called Marcus and the first thing he did was rattle off questions about me. I know Killian didn’t set him up for it because he called him right in front of me, and I would have felt the lie in the bond. I have discovered mates can’t lie to each other. That’s anothe
KillianOh fuck, I was so anxious to get to Alora and I just kicked them out of the pack without thinking about Alpha commanding them to never speak about the pack to anyone. That’s normally how we handle a rogue situation to keep them from letting anyone else know how the pack is run to keep all of us safe. I am so fucked up over all of this. I’ll have to call and speak to Paul and Marcus later today.“I’ll talk to Paul and Marcus and we’ll figure out where they are. If I can get to them perhaps I can still Alpha command them to not speak about anything they know. I’m not sure. I know you have a hard time believing me, but I swear I am not going to let him take you or anyone hurt you.” I hear her sigh.“Killion, it has nothing to do with me thinking you will fight him. It has to do with me thinking he’s just going to walk in, shoot you in the head, or remove you as a threat the quickest way he possibly can. Then there will be no one standing in between him and me, and now also the pup
AloraI woke up next to Killian this morning. I just looked at his face and thought about what he had said about the bond being still intact. I couldn’t really even explain why I melted down yesterday for the most part. I have been trying to get him to leave me and chose another wolf to be Luna. I guess in some ways I was worried if he had her and they were off having fun he would just leave me here to rot. I know Mani kept trying to pull at me and she felt different, but it’s hard to always understand what images and feelings she’s broadcasting. Right now she’s content because her mate is beside her, and I wish I could say the same, but I can’t. I roll onto my back and just stare up at the ceiling for a while. Right now I am living every single second scared shitless that Rupert will find me. I am terrified of not only what he will do to me, but what he will do to the babies in my womb. I have already been through that with him and I can’t fathom having it happen again. Killian keep
AloraI wasn’t angry at being sedated, and in fact Killian had asked me. I was afraid that if he attempted to keep me restrained in the car I would lose my ever loving shit. Not that I haven’t already been losing my shit, as that’s kind of been the whole theme for a little while now. Ah, who the fu
AloraI had failed. I had hoped I could make it work. Of course I had no idea that my death could very well result in his own. I didn’t want to hurt him, I just knew I couldn’t fucking do this, no matter what he thought. I was currently pacing the room, and then I heard the clink of the chain and I
KillianI had talked to Marcus more about a possible plan that I had suddenly thought of. I was planning to meet with both him and Paul to get their input on my idea and any extra ideas. In the meantime I was having him do a few changes in my room. I wanted for us to get her out of the hospital bed
KillianI am sitting next to the bed where Alora is now secured. We have her wrists secured to the bed, and though I hate doing it I’m not sure what else to do. I’m not stupid enough to think that she won’t try to hurt herself again if I let her go. So, until I find out what triggered this and try







