KABANATA 3

KABANATA 3

Night falls yet I am still busy in my office, doing paper works. Madilim na sa labas, kita ko sa bintana ng opisina at unti-unti ng nagsi-uwian ang mga empleyado pero busy'ng-busy pa rin ako rito. 

"Hindi ka pa uuwi, Clea?" Nakasilip ni Karen sa pintuan ng opisina. 

Her eyes are curious and knowingly. 

I averted my gaze and slowly shook my head. "No. I still have papers to read and sign" I said. "Mauna ka na…" I added. 

She entered my office with her cocky looks, bore her gaze in me and glared at me with so much sinister writing in her face. 

"No! You stop working and we will go clubbing!" Malakas niyang hinampas ang lamesa  making me flinch in shock. 

The hell with this woman! 

I look at her with awe and bewilderment, she's still looking at me furiously. Mabilis niyang hinablot sa'kin ang mouse ng computer, turn it off and fix my dissarange things at the top of my table, putting them all inside my bag. 

She humped and wiped the sweat forming in her forehead. I massaged my nose irritatedly, looking at how eager she is to arrange my things. I know she is serious as hell. 

"Tumayo ka d'yan Clea or else ako na mismo ang kakaladkad sayo palabas." She sneered. 

I slowly stand, shock by how berserk she is with me right now ay nawiwindang akong tumayo sa lamesa, sinusundan pa rin siya ng tingin dahil hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin siya tapos ayusin ang mga nagkalat na papel sa lamesa. 

She yell excitedly. "Ayan tapos na! Fix yourself while I fix my things in my table." Sinamaan niya na naman ako ng tingin at nagmamadaling lumabas sa aking opisina. 

My gaze followed her until she lost in my sight as the door slammed closely. I'm sick and worried of how weird my friend is. 

"Clea! Lumabas ka d'yan o kakaladkarin kita?" 

Muli siyang sumilip sa pintuan, with her usual rolling eyes. Nakita niya akong hindi pa rin gumagalaw kaya marahas niya akong kinaladkad palabas. 

"Iyong bag ko Karen!" I yelled at her protesting. 

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi magpatangay sa kaibigan ko. Dinala niya ako sa sikat na bar sa Duma. 

Buzz and booze are everywhere in the corner of the place. Neon lights are seen in the whole place, people are dancing, swaying their body to  the fast beat of the music. The loud cheers coming from table to table. I even see some french kissing in the dark side of the bar. 

"Ano na? Are you going to gawk the whole night?" 

Karen loudly asked me as we won't hear words because of the heavy music. 

 Ng hindi niya marinig ang sagot ko ay hinnila niya ako patungo sa isa sa mga bakanteng lamesa. Nilibot ko muli ang tingin sa buong lugar, hindi ko man maamin namimiss ko rin ang ganito magulong lugar. The loud roar of the music help my fractured heart steady a little bit. 

Minsan, sa sobrang gulo ng isip mo kailangan mong pumunta sa malayo, to chase tranquility and rest your weary you, but what I need is a loud crowd making me forget the monster I need to deal when I got home. 

Muli akong tiningnan ni Karen, her brows are raised as if asking me what should she order for me dahil nasa kamay niya ang menu. 

"A bottle of tequila will do." I sluggishly said. 

Mabilis niya naman akong inilingan. "We should eat dinner before drinking. Would you want menudo?" 

Mahaba niyang sabi kaya kahit ayaw kung kumain ngayong gabi, I just nodded as an answer to her question since she will not leave me  at peace with my tequila. 

Tinawag niya ang waiter, she said our order at marahan naman itong nakinig at umalis na sa harapan namin upang e-process ang aming order. 

As the night gets deeper people withstand despite them intoxicated with too much of alcohol. Mas lalong umingay ang buong lugar dahil karamihan sa mga tao sa loob ay nagsimula ng makiindak sa malakas na ugong ng musika. 

I, on the other side, is enjoying the bitter taste of tequila as it drips down my throat. The bitter-sweet taste of it made me dizzy while drunk. 

Karen snatched the supposed next glass of the drink from me. "I brought you here to enjoy! Hindi maglasing Caprice."

Marahan ko siyang tinawanan and snatch back my drink. If this is my last day here on earth, I shall drown myself in vain for the love that brings me shits. 

"I'm enjoying it, Ren. Can't you see?" I acridly said. 

Marahas siyang napabuntong-hininga, umiling at inirapan ako. She averted her gaze away from me and started to sway her hips gaily as the clatter music clasp the whole place. 

"You're drunk!" She shouted angrily but I laughed lusciously which made her grunt in so much frustration. 

"Sumayaw nalang tayo, tara!" 

Wala sa sarili kung sigaw sa kanya at marahas na umiindak, hinila ko siya patayo. She stood still unmoving kaya iginiling ko ang katawan sa harapan niya making the boisterous crowd chanted clankingly. 

I earned the crowd's attention as I sway my hips sensually and the music suddenly turn into a garish sound. Nakikita ko namang natatawa ang kaibigan dahil sa ginawa ko, making her raptly sway her hips again. Pareho kaming sumisigaw, taas-baba ang mga kamay para ramdamin kung gaano kahalay ang tugtog. 

"Baliw ka talaga, Clea!" She laughed as our body swayed by the tempo of the music. 

I know we are both tipsy, but tonight, I feel young again. I feel like living. I feel alive and I am breathing. 

After several years of soaking wet in tears because of the asshole monster I still love, all his poignant devilishness. I always see myself immersed with his blue hue eyes. I am now alive, breathing and free from the monster my husband became. 

"Get out of our sight you ugly morons!" Karen shouted rudely. 

Mayroong mga lalaking lumalapit sa'ming dalawa but Karen is tipsy enough to shove them away. Pareho kaming natatawa dahil sa kanyang ginawa, music change one to another and we are drunkenly dance our soul out. 

Hinihingal niya akong tinitigan at marahang inilapit ang bibig sa kaliwa kung Tainga. "Miguel will kill us if he sees us here." 

He won't. He already killed me a long time ago. I'm sure he is also busy enjoying his night out in some club with some whore. 

I learned what she said and continued swaying with the rhythm. "He won't. Let's just enjoy ourselves!" 

Malakas akong sumigaw, muling bumalik sa aming lamesa at tinunga ang papalapit ng maubos na tequila. I see Karen walking back in my peripheral vision. I know she's tipsy as she is walking faltered. 

"Hoy Cleopatra… order pa tayo isang bote?" 

Lasing niyang wika, she sluggishly sit in front of me at agad na inagaw ang bote at tinungga ito.

I shook my head in annoyance." No. That's enough, I'm tipsy like you." 

She nodded lazily and drank the remaining liquid inside the battle. Gad! Para sana sa'kin 'yun e!

I'm tipsy but I'm still aware of my surroundings, I can still drive and even with a dizzy state, I know I can still drive the two of us home. 

Hinila ko si Karen dahil nakatungo na siya sa lamesa and I know she's asleep because I heard her snorting. I touch her shoulder blade to wake her up. She whirled, pull away my right hand in her shoulder at muling sumalpak sa lamesa. 

"Karen Abigail… uwi na tayo.." I jolted her again, she opened her eyes unwarily, gave me her killing stare and stood abruptly making her toppled on the table. 

Thanks Goodness, I made her walk in the parking lot of the bar, despite her ranting and mumbling incoherent words. We are indeed friends. Pareho kaming baliw paglasing! Kung ano-ano nalang ang pinagsasabi. 

"Clea… d-dapat hiwalayan mo na si Miguel… marami siyang babae… 'di ba dapat ikaw lang?" 

She half-open her eyes and talk to me in the back seat pero inilingan ko lang siya. Ang dami-dami talagang lumalabas sa bibig ni Karen lalo na 'pag lasing. 

Papasikat na ang araw ng makarating ako sa bahay. I accompanied Karen on her apartment and fix her before going out. Kampante naman akong iwanan siya dahil naroon naman ang landlady at sinabi nitong siya nalang daw ang titingin sa lasing kong kaibigan. 

The house porch is dim, the gate isn't locked and our room is lit. I'm sure Miguel is already sleeping at this time of the hour. 

Marahan akong pumasok sa loob, the whole living room is unlit and I slowly take steps towards the kitchen because I got thirsty. 

"Where have you been?"

I shrink in fear as a deep baritone voice asks me. The whole house suddenly lit and with the light embracing the whole place, I saw the monster's cold stare drip through within me. 

I'm shaking in nervousness as I see how dark his stares are, as my tipsiness vanishes instantly with how brooding his eyes are. I step back when he  moves forward towards me. 

"I'm asking you, Cleopatra!" He roared. 

I flinch because of how broad his voice is. I was having a blissful night yet going home means dealing with a  robust monster again. 

"I-I…" I can't find the words to explain. 

Or should I really explain? I'm just enjoying the liberty of life. No'ng siya ba ang umuuwi ng lasing at nambasag wala akong ginawa kung hindi tanggapin lahat. 

He flickered and played with his tongue as he morbidly studied me. "You are not in the office and you smell alcohol. Who are you drinking with?"

Marahas niyang hinawakan ang braso ko kaya napapikit ako sa sakit. His callused hands grip my right shoulder firmly. 

Nakayuko lamang ako dala narin ng takot na nababasa ko sa mata niya. Ayaw kung salubungin ang marahas niyang tingin. The tequila suddenly vanish into my system as if also afraid that Miguel might do something again. 

He grudgingly unleashed my right shoulder with his firm grasp. "You answer me Cleopatra…" 

He massaged his temple frustratedly and gaze me with his utmost hatred. Mabilis akong humakbang paatras sa kanya kaya nakikita ko siyang napalunok at nahihirapang tumingin sa'kin. 

"Clea… why are you drinking?" He gently said when he saw me take another step away from him again. 

When you are hit by the person you love continuously, the trauma they will inflict to you will  last forever. The bruises, it will scar but the words will  strike and reaped you broken. No matter how many ointments or remedies you are going to put to heal the wounds, hindi pa rin nito mawawala ang trauma. 

If I answer him the reason why I am drinking, would anything change a single bit? Will I be loved by him again? Cared and nurtured?

I sneered. "We should rest Miguel." 

Tinanguan ko siya at nagmamadaling umakyat sa aming kwarto. Inilibot ko ang tingin sa loob ng aming kwarto bago nahiga and I was shock to see a woman's clothes in our bed. 

Tears started to fall as realization drown me. May babae… may babae siyang dinala sa bahay at sa mismong kama… 

Gad! How can he do it in our bed? For heaven's pity bakit dito pa!

A creep sound of the door that opens made my gaze bore fiery in it. I saw him becoming dreadful when he saw me holding the dress in the bed. I'm sure this is not mine. I don't wear lewd dresses!

I angrily snapped at him." Kanino 'to? How dare you fuck someone else in my bed, Miguel!" 

I slapped him. 

He talked back and gave me his lazy stare as he snatched the dress in my hand and threw it in the trash can nearby. 

"You should rest Clea, you're drunk."

I saw his right cheek reddened but that's the least of my care. Kulang na ba ang pera niya para dalhin ang babae niya sa motel at talagang sa mismong bahay ko pa sila nagtutnak!

I am fuming mad, despite the throbbing pain in my temple, the dizziness doesn't help me alot but I still had the audacity to change everything in bed. Bedsheets, pillows. I saw Miguel in my peripheral vision standing in front of the door unmoving. 

I turn my gaze with him and raise my middle finger at dali-dali ng talukbong ng kumot. I heard him groan but sleep has gone my way that I didn't know he wrapped me in his warmth.