LOGINI woke up with something heavy on my stomach. Nang idilat ko ang mga mata ko ay mukha ni Troy ang bumungad sa akin. Naalala ko ang nangyari kagabi at awtomatikong namula iyong mukha ko. It was my first time and I didn't expect it to happen last night. Well, when I invited him over, I had the idea it could happen. But still, things happened unexpectedly.Hindi ako gumalaw agad, sa takot na magising siya. Mahimbing pa naman ang tulog niya. Ayokong maistorbo ang tulog niya kasi alam kong pagod siya sa trabaho. Hindi man iyon kita sa mukha niya–na gwapo pa rin ang walang bakas ng stress, ayoko pa ring magising siya.But my phone, which is sitting on my side table, pinged. Dahan-dahan ko iyong inabot.Pagkabukas ay pangalan ni Faith ang bumungad sa akin.'Pauwi na ako. Can you cook? Or should I bring a takeout?'Agad nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa nabasa. Dahil sa bigla ay ginising ko agad si Troy. I hate to stop him from sleeping so soundlessly, pero papauwi na si Faith! Hindi niya kami pweden
Para akong nawalan ng lakas nang yumakap sa akin si Troy. He planted kisses on my forehead and cheeks before looking me in the eyes. “I love you,” he murmured. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses niya sinabi iyon sa akin. I totally lost count, but that doesn’t matter. Mahal namin ang isa’t-isa and this moment just feels so right for us. “Was it good?” He asked. Was it good? Very much. Para akong mababaliw na hindi ko maintindihan. It feels so good that I totally forgot that this relationship has consequences. Lahat naman ata. Iyon nga lang, mas marami ang sa amin. But it really doesn’t matter now. Sa ngayon, gusto ko lang makasama siya nang matagal habang wala pang pasok. “Yes,” I replied. Troy smiled, the kind of smile that melts me every time. I could see that happiness in his eyes and for me, that’s very important. I want him to always be happy. He kissed me again on the lips, his tongue now playing with mine. He was so good at it and I’d like to think I’m getting good at it
"Are you sure about this?" He asked, his expression kind of looks pained. Nasasaktan ko ba siya sa paraan ng pag-upo ko sa kanya?While that thought was in my head, I still nodded at his question. Sigurado ako. Simula nang pumayag akong pumunta siya dito, alam kong may mangyayari. That thought was in my head and while I tried to deny it, I know deep inside of me that I want it to happen.There’s no one else I want to do my first time with, but with him.Troy tucked the few hairs that covered my face to the back of my ear. Andoon muli ang parang nasasaktan na ekspresyon niya. Nang makita iyon ay sinubukan kong tumayo at lumayo sa kanya.“Did you change your mind?”“Ha? Hindi,” I replied. He then held me tight, but gently. “Am I hurting you?”“What? No.”“It looks like you’re…” And the thought finally sinked in. “Oh.”Troy smiled, mischief now dancing in his eyes. “You think I’m hurting because you’re sitting on me?” He asked with a playful smile. “Eh kasi…” I hesitated. I couldn’t find
Dahil iniwasan ko ang manood ng kahit anong romance, we ended up deciding to watch family movies. Una naming pinanood ang Four Sisters and a Wedding. We were having so much fun watching it. Si Troy ay unang beses niya pa lang iyong napapanood samantalang ako naman ay hindi ko na mabiling. Lagi kasi namin iyong pinapanood ng mga kapatid ko. It's the kind of movie that we can somehow relate to."Is your mom also like that?" Biglang tanong ni Troy. Nasa parte na kami ng pelikula na may confrontration na ang magkakapatid. Nagsimula na ring tumulo iyong luha ko. Tahimik lang akong naiiyak kaya hindi siguro napapansin ni Troy."I don't think so," I answered. Hindi naman ganoon si Mommy. Although I sometimes feel na may napapaburan sa amin minsan. Dalawa lang kasi sila ni Daddy, tatlo kami. I don't want my sisters to feel that way, so I always make sure I show them I love them both equally, as the eldest. "How about your mom?"I never met his mother. Minsan niya lang naikwento iyong nanay niy
Katatapos lang ng first semester kaya heto ako ngayon sa bahay, nakahiga lang. Troy's still a bit busy kasi tinatapos niya iyong mga grades. Deadline na daw kasi 'non sa susunod na araw kaya hindi pa kami nakakalabas.Ako lang ngayon ang nandito sa bahay. Si Love ay isinama ni Lay sa kanila. He lives outside the City and they'll be there for a week. Si Faith naman ay nasa beach ngayon kasama ang blocmates niya. Sem ender daw nila at sa isang araw pa ang uwi niya. Wala pa naman si Manang ngayon kasi umuwi din sa kanila.I'm so bored. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Sobra-sobra na din ang tulog na ginawa ko magmula nang matapos ang mga klase. Hindi ko naman ma-invite sina Lio at Clarisse. Nagsiuwi din kasi sa mga probinsya nila.I got out of bed and tried to look for something interesting to watch on TV. Pero maging iyon ay hindi nakatulong sa pagiging bored ko.Kinuha ko nalang iyong gitara ko at kumanta. I'm free to be as noisy as I want here at home. Walang sisita sa akin kaya ku
My sisters were cool about Troy and I's relationship. Ramdam kong kinakabahan sila sa amin, kahit naman ako eh. But I just don't know why I can't let him go. Hindi ko ata kaya. Minsan na nga lang akong magkagusto nang ganito, papalampasin ko pa?It was a weekend and we're just at home. Kaso itong mga kapatid ko ay naisipang i-invite si Troy sa bahay for dinner. Hindi nga sana ako papayag but they insisted. Gusto daw kasi nilang makausap.Nang sabihin ko kay Troy ang tungkol doon ay hindi rin siya nagdalawang-isip na pumayag. He said he's serious about me kaya wala raw dapat siyang ikatakot. Kung pwede nga lang daw na parents ko agad ang harapin niya kaso hindi niya magawa because I told him he can't. For now. Alam ko kasing magagalit ang parents ko kapag nalaman nila ang tungkol sa amin. Kung iisipin, marami nga talaga ang aa







