Forgive Me Goddess For I Have Sinned

“Alright, I accept your proposal.”

An excited voice came through the phone right away. “Summer, I’m so happy you said yes! Don’t worry. I’ll treat you well, I promise—”

I cut him off. “But I have one condition.

“I want to start a company. I need funding.”

“I’ll give it to you!”

Caden Frost agreed without hesitation, but a second later, he hesitated. “What about James? Have you told him?”

“I will. Within a week.”

Just hearing James Grayson’s name messed with my head. As soon as I hung up, my hand trembled, and the glass I was holding fell to the floor and shattered, just like what we had between us. The moment when I told him I loved him, there was no going back.

Our families used to be neighbors. When I was ten, James was kidnapped by human traffickers.

My dad tried to protect him and was stabbed three times. Each wound was fatal.

James survived, but my dad lost his life.

My mom could not handle the pain. The shock made her go gray overnight, and she passed away too.

Just like that, I became an orphan.

James’s parents took me in, and he became my brother, though we were not related by blood. But later, his parents got divorced, and his mom, Monica Bennett, got custody of both of us.

“Summer, like I said, you’ll always be my daughter.”

James always looked out for me. As I grew older and hit my teenage years, I fell in love with him. So, on my 18th birthday, I bought a big bouquet of white roses and, behind Monica’s back, confessed my feelings to him.

“James, I like you. I don’t want you to be my brother. I want you to be my boyfriend.”

I looked at James, full of hope, but all I remember was the white roses falling to the ground and getting stained with dirt.

The next day, James publicly announced he had a girlfriend. He was rich and handsome, so it was easy for him to find dates. From that day on, he kept changing his girlfriends.

But I did not give up. I stubbornly wanted an answer. I confessed to him repeatedly, only to be rejected every time.

“Summer, I’ve only ever seen you as a sister.

“You’ll always be my sister.”

I did not believe him.

If he did not love me, why had not a single woman lasted more than a month by his side?

I knew I was special.

James would pull me into his arms on rainy days and wrap me in his coat. He would lean in during breakfast and lick the crumbs from the corner of my lips.

These were not things a brother would do for a sister.

So, on my 25th birthday, after downing a bottle of beer, I slipped into a sexy nightdress and opened the door to James’s room.

“I know the difference between family and romantic love. James, I love you.”

But what I opened was not James’s heart. It was Pandora’s box that pulled me into something I could never escape from.

James threw me out in front of all our friends. The next day, I heard he was getting engaged.

My heart ached. That morning, I held back my tears and stopped James at the door.

“James, I know you’re just using this engagement to scare me off. But I’m not giving up.”

I grabbed his hand and placed it over my heart. “I can feel it. You love me too. Why won’t you admit it?”

When I first moved in with James’s family, I used to cry out for my parents night after night. James was the one who held me close and comforted me.

When I was bullied at school, James was the first to notice and the one who stood up for me. He held my hand so tightly back then.

He was even the first one to get me pads when I had my first period.

I refused to believe he had no feelings for me.

But James pulled his hand away roughly and looked at me in disgust.

“Summer, you’re disgusting. Can’t you live without a man? Why are you still clinging to me?”

A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. Just as I quickly wiped it away, there was a knock at the door.

“Summer, can I come in?”

I quickly wiped my face and forced a smile uglier than my crying as I looked at Monica.

She pulled me into her arms. “You poor thing, what are you doing up here all alone? James’s fiancee just arrived. Come down and say hello, okay?”