The Journal

Ayla didn’t touch her journal for the rest of the afternoon, not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t, she sat on the bed where she’d left it, closed, silent but louder than anything else in the room.

“Still writing everything down?”

The words replayed in her head, over and over again, too casual, too sure, too specific. Ayla paced the room slowly, arms folded, trying to make sense of it.

There were some things Ayla would never say out loud, not to Lina or to anyone, not even to herself—at least, not in a way that made them feel real because once something was said out loud, it changed and it became something you had to face, something you had to own and Ayla wasn’t ready for that, so instead, she wrote.

Her journal sat exactly where she had left it, tucked beneath the loose wooden panel in her bag, hidden between her clothes like it was something fragile, she pulled it out and stared at the worn cover for a moment longer than necessary, her fingers traced the edge of it slowly, like she was hesitating, like she already knew what she was about to write—and wasn’t sure if she should, t that was the point of the journal, wasn’t it? No judgment, no consequences, just truth…….raw, unfiltered and safe.……..at least, that’s what she thought.

She opened it and the pages were filled with pieces of her messy handwriting, crossed-out thoughts, half-finished sentences that she never had the courage to complete, feelings she didn’t fully understand, fears she didn’t want to admit. And between all of it— Him. Not everywhere, but enough to be noticed and make her pause.

Ayla flipped past a few older entries, her brows knitting slightly as certain lines caught her attention.

“He’s annoying. I don’t like him.”

A small scoff left her lips, yeah… that hadn’t changed and she flipped another page

“Why does he look at me like that sometimes?”

Her fingers slowed, then another

“It’s probably nothing. I’m reading into it again.”

Ayla exhaled softly, leaning back against the headboard “Exactly,” she muttered under her breath. “Nothing.” butwhy did it feel like something? She frowned slightly, pushing the thought away before grabbing her pen.

New page, clean, blank and waiting, for a moment, she just stared at it, then started writing “I don’t understand him.”

The words came easier than she expected, like they’d been sitting there, waiting “One minute he’s exactly what I thought, careless, unserious, the type Lina warned me about.” her pen moved faster now. “And the next…” she hesitated just for a second, thhen forced herself to continue. “…the next, he says things that don’t make sense.” her grip tightened slightly. “Things that feel too personal and too specific.” She paused then went on “Like he knows me.” her chest felt tight as she stared at that line, because that was the part she couldn’t explain logically or in a way that made her feel okay.

She chewed lightly on the inside of her cheek before continuing “And I hate that it gets to me.” The pen pressed harder now, the ink slightly darker “I hate that I notice him, that I pay attention, that I even care enough to think about it after.” her thoughts started spilling faster, messier, more honest

“He’s not my type, he’s exactly the kind of person I should avoid but why does it feel like he’s always there?” Her breathing slowed slightly as she wrote, like this was the only place she could make sense of anything “Why do I feel like he’s watching me even when he’s not?” and she paused, her heart skipped because that one one felt a little too real.

Stared at the words, her brows pulling together slightly then quickly added: “I’m probably overthinking again.”

Yeah, that sounded better

She exhaled, relaxing slightly as she leaned back again, for a moment, everything felt quiet, normal, controlled and a memory hit her.

“You’re too easy to read.”

Her stomach tightened instantly and she sat up straighter, shaking her head slightly.

“No,” she whispered. “No, he’s just talking.”

That’s all it was, just words, plain old Jace being his arrogant self, still…….her eyes dropped back to the page, toverything she had just written, to how accurate it suddenly felt and something about that didn’t sit right. She quickly flipped the page and arted writing again but faster this time, more defensive, ike she was trying to correct something.

“He’s not that deep, he just acts like he knows everything and he probably does this with everyone.”

Her jaw tightened slightly. “I’m not special.” then the pen slowed just a little because that line felt heavier than the rest and she stared at it for a moment almost instinctively, she underlined it

“Maybe it was just a guess, people journaled all the time. It wasn’t exactly rare” she muttered to herself whike closing her journal and standing up to pace back and forth in the room under her breath, “But the way he said it, it wasn’t a guess, he was way too confident to be just guessing” and she hated it because if he wasn’t guessing, then what?

She stoped pacing, and her eyes landed on the journal again making my chest tighten slightly

There was only one way to find out.

AYLA

That evening, the house was alive again, Lina had returned, music playing softly from her speaker as she moved around the room, picking outfits like her life depended and moving around the room as she got ready for whatever random plan she had decided on. I sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling through my phone, paying only half attention because mind wasn’t fully there and it hadn’t been since the morning, not since……….

“Are you even listening to me?” Lina asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“Wow,” Lina laughed. “You’re actually gone.”

“I’m here,” I said, shaking my head slightly. “What did you say?”

“I said we might go out later, we’re not staying in tonight,” she announced. “I refuse.” and I barely looked up from where I was sitting by the edge of the bed. “I didn’t say we were.”

“You didn’t have to. Your vibe is giving ‘I want to stay home and think too much.’” I rolled my eyes at her statementeven though it was exactly what I wanted to do “You’re so dramatic.”

“And you’re so predictable,” Lina shot back with a grin but that word hit her making my jaw tightened slightly “Predictable”

“Relax,” Lina laughed. “It’s not a bad thing.”

I looked away “Yeah,” I muttered. “Sure.”

“Do you not want to?” Lina asked, noticing my expression “No, I’m fine,” I said quickly “I’ll come with.”

“Good,” Lina grinned. “You need to loosen up anyway.”

I rolled my eyes “Yeah, okay.” I said in a soft calming tone, but inside her thoughts were already shifting, because something told her tonight wasn’t going to be simple and someone else in the house was thinking about her too.

JACE

I sat on my bed and the room was quiet except for the faint sound of music drifting in from down the hall, my phone lazily lay forgotten beside me because my attention was somewhere else and o something else, something I shouldn’t have, but did anyway.

Thee journal rested in my hands, open, my thumb brushed lightly over the page, eyes scanning the words slowly and carefully like I was memorizing them. Again.

“I don’t understand him.”

A faint smile formed on my lips “Yeah,” I murmured quietly to myself “I know.” and my gaze moved down the page, each piece of her she didn’t realize she had given away.

“Like he knows me.”

That one made something shift in my expression, something softer and deeper “You have no idea,” I said under my breath then my eyes landed on the last line she had written before closing it.

“I’m not special.”

The smile faded on my lips faded completely and my jaw tightened slightly as I stared at it longer than I should have like it bothered me more than it should “…that’s where you’re wrong,” he muttered and closed the journal carefully like it was something that mattered which infact did matter to him not just because of what was written inside but who it belonged to and the fact that she still didn’t know.

AYLA

I chose to wear a black short-sleeved backless gown that stopped right before my knees, resting on my thighs, I straightened my hair out and wore my loubuttin heels to match with my gown, a gold purse by my sid and gold bracelets on my left arm, I didn't wear any necklace to avoid doing too much but I had the cutest gold earrings Lina gave me on. I stared at myself in the mirror and I must say I did look breathtaking and wow did I know how to clean up good. Lina on the other hand was in a strapless gold sequence gown stopping on her thigh exposing her pretty oiled skin, her hair in a hot messy bun and red lipstick on, her silver earrings dangled on her ears and her black stillettos matched her suitably and damn does she look good, she always does

“Girl are you some sort of angel or what?” Lina said walking over to me squealing like a kid

“Girl please, have you seen you?” I said teasing her right back smiling

“Sad you don't have a date, atleast you're gonna bag someone's son for sure” she said shoving me playfully

“Girl bye” I laughed and rolled my eyes

By the time we got downstairs, Jace was already there, leaning against the couch this time, scrolling through his phone like that was his permanent position in life and I didn't directly look at him but I was aware of his presence— too aware

“Don’t wait up,” Lina said casually as we passed, Jace hummed. “Wasn’t planning to.” and his eyes lifted and looked

straight to Ayla and just for a second, he looked blown away then it disappeared and replaced with a gaze like was watching for something and I held his gaze a second longer than I meant to and looked away first and this time it irritated her, but she decided to ignore him tonight, Ethan was already waiting for us outside and we got in the car and zoomed off

The party was loud, Music pulsing, lights shifting, people everywhere, Lina disappeared almost instantly, pulled into a group of friends and Ethan, leaving me standing here with a drink I hadn’t touched.

Perfect, exactly what I needed.

Space and time to think and time to plan because she wasn’t going to sit around feeling confused anymore. If Jace knew something, she was going to prove it or prove herself wrong. Either way, she needed answers

***********

When they got back later that night, the house was quiet again and her heart beat a little faster as she stepped inside feeling a bit tipsy from the alcohol she took, she had a few drinks and danced for a while before they left. Lina yawned, already half-asleep. “I’m going to bed.”

“Yeah,” Ayla said. “You go ahead.”

Lina didn’t question it, neither did she notice the way Ayla stayed downstairs. And the moment Lina disappeared upstairs, Ayla moved fast, she went straight to the kitchen table, pulling out her journal and flipping it open, her pen hovered over the page and she started writing but not her thoughts or her feelings, something else and more specific “Tomorrow, I’m going to skip breakfast” She paused and added “Even if I’m hungry” and her heart thudded in her chest, it felt stupid, but if he really knew, he’d react

Right?

Atla stared at the words for a second longer, then closed the journal and st it down and waited, she didn’t have to wait long before she started hearing footsteps behind her, slow uhurried footsteps but Ayla didn’t turn around immediately, she didn’t want to seem eager and definitely didn’t want to give anything away.

“Couldn’t sleep?” his voice came low and too familiar now, she turned slowly, crossing her arms. “Something like that.” Jace stood a few steps away, watching her “You’ve been doing that a lot,” he said.

“Doing what?”

“Thinking.”

She forced a small, unimpressed look. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Not bad,” he shrugged. “Just… obvious.”

She stepped closer this time, closing the distance and hr eyes locked onto his “Then tell me something,” she said quietly Jace’s brows lifted slightly, interest flickering

“Go on.”

“If you know me so well…” she tilted her head slightly, challenging, “what am I thinking right now?” The air shifted and Jace didn’t answer immediately, hust looked at her and for a second something unreadable passed through his expression.

“You’re trying to prove something.” and her heart skipped but kept her face neutral

“That’s vague.”

“You’re testing me.”

Her stomach dropped but still she didn’t react “Testing you how?” and Jace’s gaze flicked briefly past her

to the journal on the table then back to her and that was all it took, everything in her went still

“No idea,” he said lightly, but it was too late, because now she knew. That look, that tiny glance, that hesitation, it wasn’t random, it wasn’t guessing, it was real and she took a slow step back as her chest got tighter and thoughts louder

He knew.

Maybe not everything, but enough, enough to make her realize— this wasn’t just curiosity anymore, itwas something deeper, something she didn’t understand yet and something that made her feel exposed in a way she’d never felt before, and the worst part was that he wasn’t even denying it.

Jace watched her carefully, not missing the realization settling in her eyes, and for the first time he didn’t look amused, he looked concerned, just slightly but it was there.

“Careful, Ayla,” he said quietly.

Her breath caught. “With what?” and His gaze held hers in a steady and intent way. “With things you’re not ready to know.”