Chapter 11

Hindi ko gustong bumangon mula sa kama dahil tinatamad ako at gulong-gulo ang utak ko. I just can't think straight and it's frustrating me. I can clearly hear my son's giggles outside and it's making me problematic even more.

Bakit ba kailangan niya pang sumaya kapag kasama si Alexander? I am selfish alright. And I just want the best for my son. And so far, Alexander is not the best for him. And will never be, in my opinion.

My head is aching because of thinking too much. Pero kahit ganoon nagawa ko paring pilitin ang sarili ko na bumangon para diretsong pumasok sa banyo at makalìgo na. I could not concentrate under the shower. I have a lot of things to think about. I am going crazy and I don't like this.

Ilang minuto lang natapos na ako kaagad sa pagligo at hindi ko na inalala pa kung nalinis ko ba ng maayos ang katawan ko kasi wala na akong sa sarili. I am too preoccupied and the last thing I want is to develop depression that will lead to anxiety.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko ban