Hell with him

Fidgeting her fingers and praying God to give her enough courage, she finally walks to the boy for whom she felt slightly more than a school-girl should. She was more nervous to talk with him than giving her first boards last to last year. She gulped the lump formed in her throat and looked at him.

He was sitting on his bike outside the school, with his friends surrounding him. With a boring school uniform -white school shirt, grey pants and a grey tie- he still looked like the handsome boy, famous in social media . His long hairs that often caused him to earn a bunch of scoldings, shined under the sunlight. His brown eyes had a spark as his mouth opened and shut, cracking jokes.

They were laughing and teasing each other. And that's what she was afraid of. What if they laugh on her too? What if she just embarrasses herself there? What if they start teasing her? What if she will be bullied?

But what if 'he' smiles at her? What if he accepts her proposal? What if she and he live happily ever after? The positive soul within spoke.

Nodding at her thought she takes a step forward.

"H__Hi. " She cussed herself for stuttering while just saying a Hi. How will she propose him?

The boys turned to her and they stopped laughing. It was quite shocking to see her coming and initiate a conversation as she was a nerd, who always focussed on her front bench and her textbook. They only needed her in times of exams. No more no less.

"Yeah? "

"Uh.. Tan i please.. Talt to you? " She asked the only boy she wanted to talk to. Her eyes focussed on her shoe as she pointed the boy with her frail hand.

[Uh.. Can I please.. Talk to you? ]

The boy looked at his friends in amusement before jumping down the bike. "Fine." His friends turned to each other, having side eyes on her.

They went to a corner and she closed her eyes. Inhaling a deep breath, she spoke in one breadth as she forwarded the red rose. "I don't know why but I really lite you. I don't know why but my heart goes trazy just by your mere presence. I know you have a dirl, whom you really lite but she rejected you. So, I.. I thought I should confess this once, before leaving this school. I'm.. Sorry. "

[I don't know why but I really like you. I don't know why but my heart goes crazy just by your mere presence. I know you have a girl, whom you really like but she rejected you. So, I.. I thought I should confess this once, before leaving this school. I'm.. Sorry. ]

She didn't know why she said sorry? Was it because of that handsome face, that fought to laugh at her or at the fact that she just told him that he was rejected by his own crush.

As in cue, he could not control anymore and the laughter escaped his lips as he understood the nerd's wordings. Did she just proposed him? What in the world did she thought before proposing him?

"Ever looked at mirror? Girl, you are a walking freak and a speaking mess. Half of the time you speak, we have to work our senses to know what you are speaking. But i must say, for a nerd like you, you are quite brave. " He said, taking the red rose and examining it's fresh petals carefully.

Before throwing it and crushing it with his shoes.

"To propose someone who is out of your league, is not easy. I appreciate it but it would be better if you propose someone in your level. Maybe who stutter? It would be a deadly combination." He joked and walked back to his friends while shaking his head at her guts.

Tears gathered in her dull eyes, and she looked at the laughing group. He probably had told them everything and she felt the need of drowning in her own tears. It was the last day of her school. Today was last exam. Thus they will never meet again. She was thankful.

She wiped her tears, looking at her crushed rose- feeling the crushed feelings, and walked to the temple where she always prayed before taking any step. Temple of Lord Shiva. Bholenath! Mahadev! Healer of healers and destroyer of destroyers!

There her tears lost its path as she looked at Mata parvati, ganesha and kartikey sitting with the Shiva. The smile in parvati's face and her hand wrapped around her sons created a feeling of envy. How much she wanted to have a mother for herself, to protect her, to whom she could share everything. But who said life gives you everything you wish for?

She sobbed as she remembered the photo of her maa who died while giving her birth.

You're a bad omen.

You ate your mother. You will never be in peace.

You ruined my doll, God will ruin your life.

You're a peice of shit, a burden on earth.

No one can ever love you. Who will, anyway, like a pig with ruined throat.

Memories were triggered. She fell down in her knees as she let her tears out. She cried and cried and cried.

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