Chapter 3

GREY

It’s been a month now and the pain is excruciating. It’s infecting my brain. It mostly hurts at night. Like I’m being attacked over and over. But it doesn’t feel like my pain. It’s weird. Every now and then, I’m hit with all kinds of emotions. Fear, shame, dread, anger all of it. Sometimes at the same time.

I haven’t told anyone about my foxy lady. I’ve been trying to act normal, but avoid people at the same time. Anyone I do talk to, I lash out at because that seems to be the only way I can vent out these fucking emotions. My body feels like a spectator to some sick torture movie.

I don’t understand what’s going on and what’s worse is I have no clue where to even start looking for her.

Wes has been circling me like a vulture. Cornering me in the showers to find our what’s up with me. The last person I want to know is him.

I’m leaning on the white tile wall with the shower head pouring water on my throbbing brain. The waters cold because I’m constantly running hot. Like I’ve had to remove my blankets and open windows with AC on in the fucking dead of winter kind of hot.

My wolf also hasn’t let up on me. I’ve run him so much. As soon as he’s locked away, he's clawing at his cage in my chest. Snapping and biting, trying to get back out. This is also constant. Let me tell you, if it wasn’t the emotions at a thousand times the potency, the rabid wolf in my chest is going to make me kill someone.

I’ve got my eyes closed, just absorbing the ice cold water when I get a smack on my back.

Wes pulls into the shower head beside me. “Jesus man. You’re freezing.” He’s shaking his hand to warm it back up.

I turn my head to him with narrow eyes. My head is effecting my eyesight. Everything is slightly blurry and hot.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Grey?” He turns on his shower. “Ever since the battle, you’ve been acting weird.”

“I’m fine.” I turn my head back. “I….just have a headache.”

He arches a brow. “A headache? Seriously?”

I turn back to him. “Yes. A headache.”

I turn off the water and walk away. Grabbing my towel and drying off as I walk to my locker.

“No. I’m not buying it.” He shuts his shower off and follows me. “It’s been a month and you haven’t been the same since the pack war. Tell me what’s going on."

“Nothing’s going on, Wes. Leave it alone.” I open my locker and pull out my clothes.

“Grey, I’m your twin. You think I don’t know when somethings seriously wrong? Talk to me.” He leans on his locker with his towel wrapped around his waist.

I shook my head and slammed my locker shut. “I said fucking leave it!” I growled at him.

I turned and walked out as eyes from other people followed me to the door.

I stomped to my room. I took a few days off to see if a little privacy could get rid of this thing. It’s not working.

I slam myself on my bed and put in my ear buds. I hit play and listen to ‘Fortunate Son’ by Credence Clearwater Revival.

I’ve got my feet crossed and my hands behind my head. I’m tapping my toes to the music when I feel it. Wes' presence. Fucking twin thing.

I crack an eye and he’s talking, but I can’t hear anything he’s saying. I close my eye back up and continue listening to my music.

I guess he got frustrated because he ripped a bud out of my ear.

“Grey!” He snapped.

I sit up ripping out the other one. “What the fuck do you want?!” I huff a frustrated breath and leave my room. He’s hot on my heels.

“Tell me what’s wrong!” He demands.

I spin.. “I swear, if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I’ll shred you.” I point in his face, clenching my jaw.

I spin back around and head to the dining hall.

“Grey, something happened to you and I think you need to see a doctor or something…..” He’s right on my back.

I turn around with a deep growl. I grab his shirt collar and raise my fist.

“What’s going on here?!” River comes up the hallway from behind me. He stops and crosses his arms. He glares at me. “Let him go, Grey.” He warns. His eyes flash blue.

I look at my brother and my fist. Letting go of his shirt, I release my fist slowly. My hand shaking. I’m confused, angry and my wolf is destroying me on the inside.

“Sorry.” I mutter and turn to the front doors of the dorms.

“GREY!” I hear Wes call, but I’m making a beeline for the trees. I need to get our of here. I almost fought my brother over this. I can’t even remember the last time we ever fought that bad. This bond is supposed to be special, but it’s killing me slowly. It’s tearing me apart. The only thing I can feel is pain and anger. I need to find this girl quick before I’m fucking destroyed.

****

A few more weeks of torture and Wes harping on my every move, I finally caught a break.

Rumor had it that Bastian’s personal trainer, Wren, found her dead sister or something and that she’s a Nomad.

Finally. Not a moment too soon.

I walk down the hall to the Head Alphas office. I breathe in deep and let it out slowly. I’ve got to keep calm.

I knock on the door.

“Come!” Bastian barked.

I open the door. Sucking my top lip. Every muscle in my body is tense and my back is up. I’m desperately trying to act normal while I’m bombarded by the fucking tsunami of emotions.

I walk into the large room and stride into his office.

“Bastian.” I nod.

“Grey! What can I help you with?” He flashes that stupid smile of his. I hated him before, but now I want to rip that smile off with my claws.

I rub my neck. “Well, first. Congratulations on Head Alpha. I guess the best Alpha won after all.”

He nods. “Thank you.”

I slowly sit in the chair across from his desk. “I….uh…I heard a rumor and kind of wanted to know if it was true or not.”

“Oh?” He was leaning in his chair with his fingertips to his temple.

I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants and fake a smile. “Um…Is it true….about Wren?”

Bastian folded his hands on his desk. “How did you hear about that?”

I shrug. “People talk.”

“Well, not that it’s anyone’s business, but yes, Wrens sister has been found.” He nods.

I sit on the edge of my seat. “And she’s a Nomad?”

“Yes.” He said suspiciously.

I shift in my seat. “I…uh…kind of want to talk to her.”

He arches a brow. “Why do you need to...”

“Because I need to.” I snap, but then dial it back. “I’m…really interested in this Nomad thing. Since we found those guys. It would be good to find out their secrets for…training.” I toss out another smile.

“Well, they already left for where they live. They’re miles away, but maybe I can ask Wren when she contacts me next. I do agree that their strength was impressive and it would be helpful in our training.” He shuffles some papers on his desk. “Leave it with me.”

I press my lips together. I want to freak out on him, but that would definitely raise suspicion. I nod and stand.

He folds his hands on his desk. “You ok? You seem…stressed.”

“I’m fine.” I manage.

“Even still. Stop by the infirmary. You don’t look so good. I can’t have my people running at half performance.” He tilts his head to me.

I bite my lip and nod. “Yes, sir.” I walk out and head over to the infirmary.

Maybe he’s right. I’m certainly not getting any better. In fact, I’m getting worse by the day. At the very least, the doc may be able to give me something to dull this all down until I can find this girl.

****

“Headaches?” The doctor said while he’s shining a light in my eyes checking my pupil dilation.

“Yeah.” I mutter.

“Chest pain?”

“Yep.”

“Night sweats, cold sweats, fever?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” I say as he listens to my back through his stethoscope.

He stands and crosses his arms. “Are you able to control your emotions?”

I look down. “No.”

He nods.

He picks up my chart. I arches a brow. “How long has it been since the bond snapped, son?”

I raise my head. “How did you know?”

He threw the chart on the bed I was sitting on. “I wouldn’t be a doctor if I couldn’t recognize the symptoms of love sickness. And you? Probably the worse case I’ve seen.” He walks over to a cabinet. “You’re running 110F fever yet you’re still walking. Your eyes are slow to dilate. Your heartbeat is erratic. From the other symptoms you told me, it’s been a while.”

“Almost three months.” I mumble.

“Where is she?” He slid his hands into his pockets.

I shrug. “I don’t know. She yelled at me and ran off. I haven’t seen her since.”

He nods. “Unfortunately, until she actually rejects you, you’ll only get worse. I can lessen the symptoms, but eventually, you’ll reach a point where you either have to mark her or kill someone. This isn’t going to get better.”

“How long does this last? I mean, can’t I just wait it out until it goes away?” I put my shirt back on.

He sighs. “If only it was that easy. I’m afraid, if you don’t mark this girl or she doesn’t express her rejection, you’re stuck like this until you pretty much go insane and die.”

“Geez, doc. Don’t sugar coat it or anything.” I scoff.

“I’m being honest, Grey. There’s a reason these things are taken care of right away. The desire to mate and bond is so powerful, to deny it or ignore it until it goes away, are not options. The fates have spoken. You either find your mate or die. I’m sorry.” He hands me a bottle. “These won’t get you back to normal, but they should allow you to control yourself for a few more months. After that, I can’t help you. You might want to inform the Head Alpha of your...condition.”

I get up and tuck in my shirt. “Bastian Cole is the last person I want knowing about this.” I shake the pill bottle at him. “Thanks.”

“No problem. If anything else comes up, you let me know.” He writes on my chart.

I open the pill bottle and toss back a couple of pills. “Will do.”