wondering

Chapter 1

Crow

I was currently groping in the mirror watching my own reflection. Grandma made me realize the importance of beauty, a quality that no one else can ever take away.

Shouldn't intelligence come first? I just shrugged it off and chose to just nod to everything Grandma was telling me.

I know it's a big responsibility for a girl like me to take care of beauty, but I can't deny that the way Grandma takes care of me is not normal anymore.

It's not that I don't want Grandma to take care of me. I love him so much that I am ready to follow all his wishes. But most of his way of maintaining my beauty is often hair-raising.

Sometimes it crossed my mind that Grandma was preparing me to be offered to a powerful person.

I shook my head at my thoughts.

"Magic mirror, show me the most beautiful woman on earth?" I asked Grandma's old mirror as if it would answer me.

I grinned, tucking a stray strand of hair next to my right ear.

"You... Claret Cordelia Amor..." I answered myself.

I laughed for a moment at my reflection. I'm going crazy again.

"Claret! Get down! You're going to be late for your class!" I was alarmed by Grandma's scream.

I quickly combed my short shoulder-length hair and put on my glasses. I have very poor eyesight. 450 to my left and 350 to my right.

"Good morning po, Lola!" I kissed her cheeks.

"Eat. You know I don't want you to go hungry, that's not good for your body." I nodded to him.

This is us again and her taking care of my body.

For grandma, I was a fragile object that could not be scratched or scratched. Everything that can destroy my beauty he takes away and the thing that can keep my beauty he tries to give me.

I don't want him to suffer just for my sake (making me beautiful). Sometimes I tried to say no to him but he said I was just giving him a reason to be angry with me.

"Grandma, my eighteenth birthday is coming up. What's your present for me?" I'm joking.

I noticed that grandma was stunned for a moment. Did I say something wrong? Wasn't he happy that I was the right age? I am now a full-fledged young woman.

"I'll give you a gift if you keep yourself clean and pure..." I laughed at what he said.

How many times have I heard from him since I made up my mind? Pure and pure...

"You raised me right. I will never flirt with any man." I smiled at Grandma who was relieved.

Our life was simple. We were not rich with expensive cars, not a stockholder of a huge company, not an owner of an exclusive school, not a daughter of a well-known business tycoons, and not even spoiled brats with luxurious collections of bags, shoes, and dresses.

I was just a simple girl with a simple family, my grandmother. He was my only family and he never made me feel like I was missing anything. My whole life was filled with her golden words, pieces of advice, and wisdom full of her love. Since I was a child, my grandmother was always there for me, a big reason why I couldn't find her mother and father.

How about my parents? I didn't even see them. I never had a picture of them.

Grandma and I currently live in the mountains. Mount Maalingod, is known for having different types of medicinal plants that are more helpful to the people in the plains.

I can say that I grew up in a paradise, in the mountains that are quiet, peaceful, and full of life. From trees, birds, flowers, and various animals.

If I had to choose again, I would still prefer to grow up in the mountains. In the place where I am free and rightful.

I grew up away from people. I became aware of the idea that someone would come to the top of Mount Maalingdo to take me and propose marriage. The man who is destined for me... The man whose eyes will only shine on me. The man who only has the right to claim my lips.

Whenever I think of him, I can't help but touch my lips. What does it feel like to be kissed?

I could feel my cheeks heating up when I remembered what I saw in the locker room at school on Monday. Lovers kissing as if they were the only people in the world. Was it so good that they didn't even notice that I almost slipped when I saw them?

Grandma told me several times that I can only show my complexion to one man – the man who has been planted in my heart and mind since childhood.

Sometimes I wonder too. Should I really believe it? Is he real? Why is he still not showing up? Am I not beautiful enough?

Is he handsome and has a strong body? Is he a good kisser? That when a woman slips in front of me I won't even notice?

I grinned at the thought.

At first, I was still afraid of what grandma was saying. I seem to be a fattening pig who has to maintain quality for a given time. But if it has grown, it will gradually get used to it.

Once a week grandma soaks my whole body in pure milk, for my complexion. In order to keep my body in good shape, I often eat fruits and vegetables in the mountains. I also never fail to exercise with the right guidance from grandma.

There is no denying that my beauty appears whenever I mingle with many people, so many times grandma and I received invitations to participate in various beauty contests but grandma did not host any of them.

It is said that it is not good to present a woman's beauty to the audience because it is said to be dull of temptation.

At school, I was known as the witch's grandson. But our story was a different type of witch's story. You don't burn us alive because they are plagues and nothing else has been done well.

We were loved because grandma's medicinal plants helped many people, especially those with different types of diseases.

But knowing that I was the grandson of a good witch, no man dared approach me. They were very afraid of grandma because the news was spreading that the man who first approached me had not been allowed to sleep for a week because of bad dreams.

I tried to ask grandma about that, but she just shrugged her shoulders at me.

"Go home early Claret. Your body needs to be re-soaked in pure milk."

"Yes, Grandma..." I finished the glass of milk before I stood up and said goodbye to her.

"Grandma, I'm coming in." I waved to him before I left the house.

My bicycle is ready to go to campus.

"Be careful, Claret. Don't scratch yourself." I nodded.

I was just pedaling away from the house when I heard grandma's call.

"Claret! You forgot to tell me something." I winced, I almost forgot.

"I won't let them touch me. Just let them stare, until they die." Grandma gave me a small smile before I continued pedaling.

I say that to grandma every day before I leave. It was like a sort of chant or is it correct to say that it was an oration? I secretly wished that no one really died from staring at me for so long.

No man has ever touched me or stared at me for so long. Because the talk is spreading, as soon as he stares at me for a long time, a nightmare will surely follow.

But what I'm wondering now is why I have to bathe in milk again later. It seems like just the other day, grandma gave me a bath.

I continued pedaling again. I thought I was going to get to school quietly when I suddenly hit the brakes.

"Claret..."

I immediately turned around. A man called my name. I stopped in the middle of the forest for a few minutes while feeling my surroundings but I suddenly looked up because of a sudden noise.

Many blackbirds are flying.

I frowned. I have rarely witnessed so many blackbirds in the mountains.

"Crows..." I mumbled.

I feel the sudden rise of hair on my body. I took a deep breath and began to meditate again.

My ears must have misheard...