Chapter Thirty-Eight

Alina’s POV

“I… I didn’t know it was you” I mumbled as my eyes darted around the room in search of any hint or sign that I wasn’t dreaming. I hadn’t been this shocked since I had seen her, something was pulling right into the past.

He stared at me and then he tried to come closer. “Are you alright?”

I recoiled too quickly “I am fine” It wasn’t the truth, but I wanted him to believe it. He mustn’t see how scared I was. “It’s just a bit strange.”

He smiled slightly, taking another step forward “You don’t need to be afraid. You are safe now.”

I moved backward again “Can you … can you please move back?” His proximity made my stomach turn into a tight knot of nerves.

He froze for a minute, so quickly that I thought maybe I had imagined it but soon he moved back.

“Right” he murmured, nodding his head “Of course.”

He stepped away from me. “Let me know if you need anything” and with that he disappeared. Leaving me standing there, in the same spot that he had been seconds ago. My breathing was coming out in shallow gasps. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, why was it happening so fast?

I had gone to work earlier than usual because I really wanted to get out of the house before things started changing again. I could barely handle my nightmares on my own. I didn't want his family drama to add onto my stress levels when everything seemed to be falling apart around me. The last thing I needed were reminders of what had happened to me before. So while I waited for the others to arrive, I took a little nap.

“Are you fine ma?” Clara asked when she finally showed up.

“Yes, why?” I replied, forcing a smile on my face as I picked up my bag that had fallen off the chair where we sat waiting to go to class. She frowned at me, obviously not buying my story, and I sighed internally.

“I've been worried about you for the past two days. Is everything okay? Did you get enough sleep last night?” Her voice was concerned and laced with concern, as if she expected my answer to change after all these moments of silence.

I nodded, feeling a surge of guilt rise up inside me. “Everything is fine, thank you.” If only I could make myself believe those words, they’d make it so easy to leave all of the bad memories behind.

“You can talk to me if you want ma” Clara offered softly as she squeezed my arm tightly “Don’t forget that.”

“Stop it! Stop it! I said I am fine okay? ” I yelled back at her, suddenly furious that she didn’t seem to grasp the fact that she was I was in the midst of my distress. “I don’t need your help. Don't you think for once that you can rub shoulders with me or we are some sort of best buddies simply because you are my assistant.”

She flinched at my outburst, stepping back as if physically pushed back by my rage. I felt a wave of shame at making her feel such discomfort and quickly regretted my words.

“Clara I…” I started, reaching out towards her “Look I am sorry if I came across as…I mean, I didn’t mean to yell at you…I just..”

“You are right” she cut off my apology “We aren’t friends, that’s not right. What we are doing isn’t real. We are just acting. You are my employer and I should know my place” Her tone was cold, detached, her body language screamed that she was trying hard to hide the hurt and betrayal that I had caused. “I am sorry, I should go.” She quickly added in a rush, before disappearing through closed doors.

My shoulders slumped with defeat. I felt so bad that I couldn’t even comfort her.

It wasn’t like her to act like that, she was usually the one who would comfort me whenever anything was upsetting me. This time it was completely different, I had pushed her away and she didn’t know how to react.

l left the office earlier, I couldn't focus and I needed some fresh air. When I exited the building I immediately started walking aimlessly until I found the park.

I walked over to a nearby bench. I needed to relax my thoughts, maybe take a few deep breaths, before returning to the company.

“Alina”

“You are stalking me now?” It took an embarrassingly large amount of effort to keep my voice steady and level but thankfully I managed to do so.

“I just wanted to talk to you” He sounded sad almost. It was fake.

“About what?”

“Us” I could hear him sigh. “I love you, Alina” he continued “So much, and I just don’t understand what has happened to us. Everything is different now, there is a barrier between us and I don’t understand why.”

I blinked “What?”

He sighed again “I just don’t get why this is happening, why we are being separated. Why do we no longer live together?”

“You caused this, you cheated on me. You left me when I needed you the most , you lied to my face and you betrayed my trust.”

I heard a noise of frustration “I am sorry. I am really so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe that!”

“There is nothing I can forgive!” I shouted, unable to hold back the anger that boiled within me. “All you did was sleep with other girls. And I should be grateful for that?” I turned to leave, but Victor pulled me back.

“Where do you think you are going?” His voice was menacingly low, his fingers and hold dug into my wrist like a vice “Tell me where you are going” his grip on me tightened.

The air rushed out of me in one big whoosh “You are hurting me.” It came out strangled as I tried to breathe. His only grew tighter.

He let go of me, taking a step back “Sorry, I shouldn’t… I didn’t mean to do that…”

I stood there frozen, my chest was heaving and sweat poured down my face. The whole scene was unreal.