Chapter Fifty-One

Alina’s POV

“What if it was him?” that voice echoed in my mind, causing me to look up and look around me, I was alone and lost in my thoughts.

I shivered involuntarily.

I didn't understand where that question even came from. But the voices in my head were active. “Alina, are you even listening to me?” One snapped, pulling further into my thoughts.

“Who?” I asked, confused.

I knew who it asked for, and I knew what it was talking about but trust me when I say no one wanted their fears to be confirmed.

“That’s what I was wondering” another sighed. “What if it was ” it repeated its question. I could imagine the voice as that of a lean woman, staring at me with crossed her arms and warm amber eyes piercing through the bottom of my soul and trying to figure me out but I looked away immediately.

The hair in my arms stood involuntarily at the mention of his name, causing my whole body to tense up. I remembered the last time. I was giving him more power than necessary. He still managed to be in charge even here?

I said in my head like I had not been suspecting him after all. Like I didn't think he was the one who must have told the French men. I was surprised as if he hadn't been stalking me.

The name sent chills through my body like ice water. A cold shudder rolled down my back and goosebumps erupted across every inch of my body as I remembered how close I was to losing my life at the hands of the accident that had almost killed me.

I pretended like I hadn't thought about the possibility, I made up this picture that nothing was wrong, that everything was fine and maybe I was imagining things. I didn't know. I was just tired.

I felt way too tired.

The thought of facing him again made my stomach lurch uncomfortably. He had been stalking me, watching me, waiting for a perfect opportunity to attack me again.

Could it be? I didn’t have enough evidence. I did but I couldn't put myself out there. The media would find a way to twist it.

Maybe I really was paranoid.

But the reality that I was no longer safe hit me like a ton of bricks. And all at once I was struck by the realization that I was truly living on borrowed time.

“Oh God.”, I groaned.

A million questions flooded my brain and all I wanted to do was run out of the hospital and into the streets, far, far away from here. Away from my problems. Away from my stupid dreams. I couldn’t handle them.

Not when everything inside me screamed at me to run, to hide, and not return. Not without knowing who really saved me.

I wanted to find the person responsible for saving me from the accident. They would have just let me die and I wouldn't be here dealing with this nightmare.

If it was truly letting people know about my past, I was no match for him. I was afraid to confront him. Afraid that this will lead back to him somehow, and the fact that I would have to deal with the consequences of running away led me to the core.

“Alina, listen” another voice demanded while I imagined it grabbing both of my hands tightly. It took me completely by surprise.

The voices knew what I was thinking and feared it even more. They knew that I was afraid of Victor and him. But they didn't understand my pain. Some sounded scared too.

“What are you doing, you shouldn't have brought that up, at least not yet. But you know you will have to deal with this eventually, whether you want to or not. It could be and damn him.” I was lost now, talking to myself. I shook my head slightly. I was right. I had to face this sooner or later. I might as well start now but that was not enough evidence. I sighed deeply trying to focus on what these voices were saying but I couldn't and it felt like I couldn't breathe properly.

My body was tense all over like I was ready to jump out of my skin. I couldn't even sit up straight. I tried to push my legs away from the bed, to distance myself as much as possible, but I found myself unable to move from the spot.

“Alina, breathe” A nurse whispered softly as her face appeared above me, “You're okay. Everything is going to be alright” she reassured me. When did she walk in here? I couldn't remember.

I nodded slowly.

I forced myself to take deep breaths, but I felt like I couldn't get the air. The pain and pressure that had built inside me for weeks seemed to increase even more.

And I felt like I was suffocating. It felt like a huge ball of fire was burning through my chest, spreading throughout my entire body; spreading to every cell and muscle.

It was as though I'd been stabbed.

I couldn't control my breathing any longer and my body started shaking violently, ignoring my feeble efforts to stay in control.

“Just try to breathe...just breathe.” She was talking to me but I couldn't hear her. Her voice sounded distant like I was in a bubble and she was above me.

All I could focus on was the overwhelming pain that spread throughout my entire being, consuming my very soul.

The last thing I heard was the nurse screaming for help and for the doctors but my eyes couldn't stay focused on anything for longer than five seconds, I kept losing focus.

Everything seemed to be happening from afar and it seemed like I was floating out of my body.

I heard the rush that followed but I had lost the battle to the darkness that suddenly pounced on me so I allowed it to take control as everything went blank.