His Lost Playlist

Adrian Beckett caught the dazed look on my face.

A playful smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he flicked my forehead. "Why aren't you saying anything? Too happy to speak?"

In the three years we had been together, he had rarely introduced me to his friends on his own, much less taken me to meet his parents.

I was genuinely caught off guard. It took me a moment to find my voice. "I already told my parents about New Year's. They—"

They had set me up on a blind date.

"Then don't go," Adrian cut in without a second thought.

He was always like that, uninterested in anything that concerned me and never patient enough to let me finish.

Maybe my reaction was not what he had expected, because a flicker of irritation crossed his face.

He offered me a perfunctory "happy birthday," the words sounding obligatory and routine.

Then he grabbed his jacket and stood without taking a single bite of cake. "I'm heading out."

I responded with a quiet hum.

For once, I did not cling to him or beg him to stay and keep me company a little longer.

When Adrian reached the door, he hesitated for a brief moment and glanced back at me.

By then, I had already pressed my palms together and closed my eyes to make a wish, paying him no attention.

He slammed the door behind him. After the sharp bang, an unusually long silence settled over the apartment.

A hollow ache lingered in my chest, but it was fine. I was not sad.

The sky gradually darkened.

I looked at myself in the mirror, taking in my carefully applied makeup and the outfit I had picked out days earlier. I did not want the effort to go to waste.

…

I met my best friend at a small bar that had recently opened nearby.

After a few rounds of drinks, she looked at me meaningfully and said, "Did you know? Rachel is coming to Norgona."

That name landed on my chest like a hammer.

Rachel Nielsen was the ex-girlfriend Adrian had never managed to forget, even after five years.

We had argued, given each other the cold shoulder, and broken up more times than I could count, all because of her.

She did not even have to appear in person. The mere thought of her was like a thorn lodged deep inside me, leaving me raw every time it shifted.

Adrian claimed matching profile pictures were childish, yet he had once used one with Rachel.

Adrian claimed he disliked flaunting relationships in public, yet his old social media banner and status had once revolved entirely around her.

The stars we watched together on the college lawn were stars they had already watched together back in high school.

The meals he cooked for me turned out to be seasoned with her favorite flavors.

He complained that picking me up from the train station was too much trouble, yet he had once ridden six extra bus stops every day just to walk her home.

From every scrap of information I could find, I pieced together their past. Again and again, I sank into self-doubt, wearing myself down from the inside.

Wasn't I good enough? Wasn't I pretty enough to be loved openly? Was that why he treated me this way?

Across the table, my best friend, Kelsey Smith, looked at me with pity. "About today... I heard Adrian went to the airport to pick her up.

"Jeremy asked me not to tell you because he didn't want you two fighting again..."

Kelsey was dating Adrian's best friend, Jeremy Bixton. Their relationship was steady, and they were already talking about marriage.

"Hayley, what are you going to do? Are you really going to keep dragging this out? I told you a long time ago that you two weren't right for each other. You have so much going for you. Why keep throwing yourself at a man who doesn't love you?"

I lowered my eyes and took another drink. "What else can I do? I just can't let go."

But this time, no matter how hard it was, I had to.

There was no dramatic breakup and no grand announcement. I simply weaned myself off him on my own, peeling away from the relationship one piece at a time.

It turned out that truly leaving someone happened in complete silence.