His Secret Second

(Jenna POV)

I am standing in the middle of the woods… alone… staring into the dark night sky.

Heavy rain pounds down all around me, while thunder roars and lightning flashes across the sky.  I am wearing a rain jacket, but it is only barely doing its job.  My hair is wet, and I am drenched from head to toe.

With just a few words and a few steps forward, I will be free of the Blue River Mountain Pack …and the prison that I have been living in for the past two years.

“It’s time, Jenna,” my wolf, Willow, says in our link.  “It’s now or never.”

I don’t say anything.  Instead, I continue to stare across the border, at the black SUV waiting for me on the other side.

“The border guards will be here any minute, Jenna.  Hurry up and say the words.”

At the reminder of the urgency of the situation, the knots in my stomach twist tightly. 

I take a deep breath.

“We have to go,” my wolf pleads.

I frown.

My wolf is right; we need to leave.  But knowing that …believing that… does not make the choice that we are making any easier. 

After all, unlike the last time that I left this place, this choice is permanent.  I cannot take it back.  

I wipe a few stray tears from my eyes.  

“I don’t want to do this,” I reply honestly.  Despite all the pain that this pack has caused me, it was once my home.

“Neither do I,” she admits, “but he made his choice.  It wasn’t us.”

“I know.”

And I do.

If the last two years weren’t enough to prove it, the funeral yesterday was.

I can’t help but replay it in my head over and over and over.  The words that I heard.  The pictures that I saw.  The things …the very big things… that I didn’t know about that I learned. 

At first, I wanted it to be some big misunderstanding.  Or some horribly timed practical joke.  But it wasn’t.

Even worse, unlike the other times, he never came and explained it.  He never tried to comfort me or reassure me.  Instead, he let my heart break while his silence filled in the gaps.

Now it is time to face reality. 

Tonight …for the first time in two long years… I will choose me.

My wolf and I will no longer be his second choice.

We will no longer be his secret.

We will reclaim who we are, and we will reclaim some of the life that we had built before we met him.

“Just say the words already,” my wolf demands, all patience lost.

This time, I listen.

“I, Jenna Maxwell, hereby renounce Blue River Mountain Pack and Kade Rivers as my alpha.  I elect to become a lone wolf furthermore, with the Moon Goddess my sole guide.”

I feel a sharp, painful snap as the pack bond breaks.  Almost at the same time, I feel free of the alpha order that has been confining me to the inside of the pack borders.

I adjust the duffle bag on my shoulder, and then I step across the border.

“Good morning, Young Ms. Maxwell,” the driver says to me as I get inside the SUV.

I don’t look at him.  Instead, I somberly accept the coffee that he hands me and lean my head against the headrest. 

“Good morning, Mr. McMahon.  Let’s go.”