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Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)
Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)
Author: Annabelle Hawthorne

Chapter#01

last update Last Updated: 2025-10-31 11:16:17

Mike stepped onto his front porch, a warm thermos of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. The wood creaked beneath him, and he sat on the porch swing overlooking the front yard, the chains squeaking under his weight. It was early, not even seven yet, and the house behind him was silent. He rarely used to get up so early, but had discovered that dawn was officially the quietest part of his day. The peace lasted for almost half an hour while he listened to the sounds of the front yard while reading. Singing birds whizzed back and forth, chasing the insects that lived in his yard. Eventually, he heard a loud crash, followed by the sound of Tink yelling at the fairies, and suppressed a laugh.

Looks like his day was going to start early.

His front yard consisted of a large, maze-like garden that was centered around a stone sundial in the middle. The shrubs grew up to waist height, and he navigated the maze from memory, working his way toward the center. Despite the fact that fall had started last month, the yard was still in full bloom. Even now, looking over the stone walls that separated him from his neighbors, he could see the leaves yellowing on their trees already. The summer had been hot, and the days were quickly shrinking, but the weather was always temperate in his front yard.

When he got near the middle of the maze, he had to climb over the large, thick tail of the Jabberwock. The beast lifted its head and, once it saw who was bothering it, lay back down and let out a huff. He gave the beast a friendly pat, grateful that it wasn't mad about the time he had beheaded it.

At the middle of the maze, he grabbed the sundial by the edges, the magic of the house tingling in his fingertips, and gave it a hard yank. The dial moved one full rotation, and he felt the ground shift ever so slightly beneath him as the home's defenses were reactivated for another day. Turning around, he saw a pair of male centaurs wandering around the edge of the garden.

"Morning," he called while waving.

"Caretaker," one responded, and they waved also, then went back to inspecting a sickly looking bush. Both of them wore wide-brimmed hats woven with leaves and carried gardening tools. The self-proclaimed Moon tribe had taken it upon themselves to maintain the property around the house shortly after getting settled in the greenhouse, which Mike was extremely grateful for. With the recent expansion of land around his house, there was no way he could keep up with it on his own.

Moving toward the front porch, he paused to admire the gazebo that Tink had attached to the corner of the house. The gazebo floor was slightly elevated, allowing someone to see all of the front yard from the middle of it. It had a beautiful trellis around the base that was covered in beautiful flowering vines, and several flower boxes at the top. He and Tink had spent a lot of time looking at gazebo designs, and he was very proud of how it had turned out.

He opened the front door of the house and turned left, walking toward the office. The morning light gave the wooden floors a golden brown glow, and he remembered that Tink had spent part of last week sanding and oiling the wood to try and restore it. The whole front room had suffered from minor water damage, and it was amazing what a little sand and shine did for the front entrance of the house.

Walking into the office, he wasn't surprised to see the dark figure sitting at his desk with a hot pot of tea and an old map of South America.

"Hey, Death." Mike slid his book back onto a shelf labeled 'Still Reading'. The circular room had multiple shelves, many of which were newly built of a pretty dark wood that the centaurs had given him. They were logging parts of the greenhouse now to build their community and had provided him with an amazing variety of woods to build from. Tink had practically salivated over the supplies, proclaiming the walnut lumber as her absolute favorite.

"Hello, Mike Radley." Death's voice was rich like chocolate with the crisp finish of a British accent. He looked up from where he stood, his eye sockets smoldering with flames. His hood was pulled back, revealing his head to be just a skull. It had taken Mike several days to adjust looking at Death this way without blanching, and it really freaked him out that the skull was capable of morphing into different facial expressions. Whenever Death narrowed his eye sockets, it looked like he was going to hook someone's soul out of their body in anger.

"What are you looking at today?" Mike asked.

"Paraguay, late 1800's." Death took a sip of tea. It was odd watching the skeleton drink because the fluid seemed to disappear once inside his skull. Once he set the cup down, Death tapped his fingers on the map as if lost in thought.

"I see. Well, enjoy." Ever since Mike had invited the specter to live with him, Death spent a majority of his time in the office enjoying old maps that he borrowed from the Library. Merely an extension of the true Grim Reaper, this version was trapped on Earth and seemed to grow more of a personality the longer he stayed. Most of the others couldn't see Death at all, but they could all watch his tea kettle float back and forth to the kitchen throughout the day.

It had taken a week to get the fairies to quit chasing the teapot back and forth. Not only did Death find it aggravating to have a group of fairies riding on his beverage, but they had also caused him to spill it more than once.

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  • Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)   CHAPTER 219

    "Um...wait?""Before that!" He grabbed onto her arms with his hands, his thoughts now buzzing about loudly in his head."That you could lean on me.""Lean, lean, Mandragora..."On the night that the Mandragora had eaten Sarah, it had handed over a hiking staff. At the time, he had been injured, and had figured that the staff had been given to him to help him limp home.But what if it wasn't?He ran out of the office, leaving a bewildered Beth behind. In the living room, Reggie sat on the new living room table, engrossed in a game of Checkers with Jenny. The rat king looked up to watch Mike run through, allowing Jenny to shift two of her pieces unnoticed.Mike ran down the hall to the back door, then shoved the door open hard enough that the door bounced off the siding of the house, eliciting a shriek of rage from Tink, who was currently working on a new dresser for Beth."Lover?" Naia called to him with concern in her voice as he sprinted to the greenhouse.The day after he had return

  • Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)   CHAPTER 218

    "Here, let me get it." Beth walked past him to where the tea kettle was. He handed over the cup that had contained the spider, and she poured in some tea. He couldn't help but notice that she was wearing a white dress with red spots on it that hugged her stomach and butt, then flared out dramatically just under her thighs. The last week had been so busy with home repairs that he had barely seen her except at meals."Thank you." He took the cup from her and sipped it, the sweet aroma of chamomile flooding his sinuses."You're welcome." Beth sat down on the edge of the desk again. "I feel like I haven't seen you.""It's been busy," he replied. Was Beth wearing perfume? He couldn't tell if it was the chamomile or her, but he caught the occasional whiff of something pleasant. "Between fixing everything, buying new computers. That police thing where they came looking for Marco."Apparently after being reported missing, police had done a welfare check on Marco and had discovered the ramblin

  • Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)   CHAPTER 217

    "I appreciate it. I appreciate you." Her shimmering brown eyes found his. "Look, if you don't find it, I just want to let you know that I don't blame you. I don't want you to blame yourself, either. Real life isn't like books, and that's okay. Not everybody gets a happy ending.""Amymone, I—" He had no idea how he intended to finish the statement, and the dryad was now suddenly interested in the book she had been holding. How many years would she be stuck here, waiting to fade into nothingness? It was a problem with no good solution."Mike?" Yuki stood just inside the backdoor. Her head was turned away, as if hiding her face. "Can we go home?""Yeah, c'mon."He bid Amymone farewell again and escorted Yuki to the front yard where Cerberus waited. The ride home was largely silent, though between the random howls of wandering demons, he could hear the faint sound of sobbing from Yuki.Once home, Cerberus turned into their human form and followed them through the gate. A chain formed arou

  • Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)   CHAPTER 216

    Mike stood outside of the master bedroom of the Underworld home. Inside, Emily was wailing in agony, a sound that raised goosebumps all along his arms.However, his attention was on Yuki, who stood across from him drying her eyes for the fourth time in ten minutes. Cecilia hovered alongside them, her hands clasped together over the soul fragment that Sulyvahn had given her. If not for the dullahan's quick thinking, it would have been snatched up by the demons that now roamed around the Underworld in packs. After the tower had been taken down, the souls that had been trapped there by the shadow had essentially created a feeding ground for the demons. Apparently word had gotten out, and if not for Cerberus, the Underworld would be impossible for them to traverse."I'm sorry." Yuki apologized for what must have been the hundredth time. Her eyes were red from crying, and she kept wiping the tears away with the edges of her robe. "I'm trying really hard to hold it together.""I know. We've

  • Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)   CHAPTER 215

    And no matter where they went, Queztalli had assured Dana that another agreement could be made with the resident thunderbird. It was frustrating to realize all of this time that the fluctuating electrical fields inside of the greenhouse had been caused by a mythical being with territorial issues, but Quetzalli had smoothed things over between them. As long as a suitable offering was made by the centaurs, the thunderbird would give them a full day of clear skies to do their surveillance.Dana plopped down on Tick Tock, who was currently a chair. The mimic shifted slightly, allowing her to recline a bit. Lying there in wait, she stared up at the ceiling of the yurt and let her thoughts drift to Quetzalli.Ever since the night everything had gone crazy, Quetzalli had moved into Dana's room. The dragon had developed a fascination with sex, and was always eager to assist Dana after her feedings. For a bit, Dana had been concerned that Quetzalli had somehow fallen for her. Even if she wasn'

  • Home for Horny Monsters (Book 04)   CHAPTER 214

    "They can't use nails," the queen informed them. "You'll need to do that part."Tink shrieked with joy and ran at the house wielding her hammer. Tools were quickly gathered up as the centaurs joined in as well, everyone helping to hammer the home back together. Up on the roof, Abella was using her thumb to shove nails into place, and Kisa ran along the edge with a small hammer of her own.The porch was rebuilt in an hour, the roof in two. Where the home had sagged, it was now shored up, and except for the lack of a paint job, it looked as good as new once more. The queen had created a forge made out of clay, and tiny creatures that looked like motes of ash now churned out glass for the windows. The yard was being tilled by gnomes and creatures that looked like flowers, all of whom were being eagerly assisted by some very excited centaurs.The sun was halfway down toward the horizon when the job was finished. The magical trees had been used up completely, and the hedge maze had been re

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