I eat breakfast in my dorm room at my desk. My desk lamp glows dimly in the background as Evie sleeps. My syllabus is covered in notes along with a notebook filled with interview-style of questions for my college professor. Evie believes I should wear a sexy red dress. That's a bit too flashy. I wear tight blue jeans and a v-neck t-shirt. I don't wear make-up and straighten my hair.
God this girly shit is a chore."Good luck, Cora," Evie smiles and waves from her bed. I'm jealous she gets to sleep in every morning until ten. All her classes start at eleven. Mine all start at eight or nine, but I do get my afternoons free.I walk toward Professor Oakley's office. I try to treat it like a professional would. But truth be told my nerves are everywhere. He's only an adjunct professor, but he still gets his own office. I knock on the door and swallow."Good morning, Cora. Have a seat. What can I help you with this morning?"I hand him my notes. I've forgotten everything I wanted to say."You don't have to be nervous around me. I know college can be intimidating. But that's what professors are here for. To help, guide, and mold minds.""I'm sorry. I'm not used to asking for help. It's just so embarrassing. And I feel so stupid. In high school, I knew all the answers and now I'm completely lost."I stop myself before I start rambling. I can be a bit much when I let my mouth run."That's fine. Have a seat. Help yourself to my Keurig. I have all kinds of flavors. Close the door and let's get started."Professor Oakley takes a sip of his coffee and finally looks at me as I help myself to the Keurig."I'm sorry Professor Oakley. I've never used one before. I only know how to use a French press.""It's alright. Just sit down and I can get it for you."He closes the door and gets my coffee. When our eyes meet he looks startled. He seems to take notice of my hair. He doesn't say anything and I look down at my notebook as though I am here to learn."I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong, Professor Oakley? I'm already so embarrassed that I bumped into you the other day.""Oh, that was you. You look so different now without your glasses and blonde hair. You look good. That didn't come out the way I meant it to. I'm sorry. I mean I like the change. And I'm glad you bumped into me. It made my first day a little bit brighter."I put my hair behind my ear and try to pretend my professor didn't make comments about me."Professor, I'm sorry I shouldn't be here. I think I'll figure out this project on my own. Sorry to waste your time.""Wait don't go. I'm sorry...I wasn't trying to hit on you. Can we start over? I really do want to help you better understand this paper."My hand is already on the doorknob. But I decide to give him another chance. I didn't think he even remembered our meeting the other day. But the fact that our accidental bumping made an impression and that he noticed, scares the shit out of me."Yes, alright. Sure. What can you tell me about Chinese foot binding? Why did they do that to women? I don't understand how this ties into the assignment," I say to get things started.For the next hour, Professor Oakley talks about Chinese history without looking at his phone or reading a book. He just knows it all the way a nerd would go on about Star Wars."Thanks for your help. I'm glad you could explain it to me. Would it be okay if I text you later?"I put my hands on my mouth. That wasn't supposed to slip out, but it did. Professor Oakley doesn't say anything, but we both know we've said unprofessional things to each other. This meeting was no accident and neither of us will ever admit that our meeting and bumping into each other was our version of a meet-cute."I don't think you should be asking me that, Cora. I'm your professor and you're my student. If it's about homework that's one thing. But anything other than that is frowned upon. I'm very lucky to have a job here at this university.""It's okay. I understand. And I didn't mean how it sounded. Of course, you are my professor. I meant can I text you later about the paper or email you the first few pages to see if I am on the right track?"His brown eyes find mine, and my cheeks turn red as I collect my things. Professor Oakley smiles and a little laugh comes out."Oh, sure that's fine. It's nice to know you're not like your same-aged peers.""What do you mean?""Well between you and me, it's hard to be a young professor. All these young ladies staring at me. They don't take me seriously. But I can see you do. So thanks for taking my class seriously. At least one young lady does.""Oh, I didn't realize that Professor Oakley. I'm here to study. I don't pay attention to that sort of thing. As for your class, I am enjoying it. I am nervous to study Roman history. I always get Greek and Roman history confused. The ancient Egyptians are my favorite subject. I used to dress up as Cleopatra every year. I know she wasn't actually Egyptian. She was Greek I think."My excitement is embarrassing. Truth be told I love history, well the creepy histories of the world anyway like the Salem Witch Trials and Vlad the Impaler."You know your history. And I can help you when we learn about Rome. Perhaps we can meet once a week before class to check in and see if you are understanding the material?"I look down a little embarrassed."Is something wrong with a tutoring session?" Professor Oakley asks."I'm sorry Professor. I can't afford that. I don't have a way to pay you for tutoring. But that is very generous of you."Professor Oakley grabs my shoulder and holds it firmly. His brief touch startles me and leaves a desire within me."I'm offering this to you, Cora. I'm not expecting you to pay for anything. Let's discuss it at a time that works for both of us and you can meet me here in my office."I smile and agree. Professor Oakley opens the door and hands me my notebook. I'm not sure how I am supposed to pay attention to history class after spending an hour with him in his office. I take notes and go to my dorm room. Luckily Evie is in class and I can nap before she gets back. Never in my life did I think a professor would notice me, the way I've noticed him. And never did I think I would get tutoring sessions when I didn't even ask for them. All the other women in the class are sure to find out and will hate me for it.The meeting with Professor Oakley went far better than I thought it would. But even still, I will keep my distance and tell Evie it flopped. I need time to process everything that has transpired. I'm not even sure I believe it myself.In order to make tutoring successful, I need to come with an outline of questions prepped and ready to go. Evie's memorized my class schedule. I am not sure what to tell her about tutoring before world history. I'm sure I will come up with some reason to be gone.Evie comes waltzing in. Her coffee has stained her notebook. Her face looks frazzled from college life."Well, how did it go this morning with a certain older gentleman?" Of course she jumps right into her interrogation mode, as predicted."Well, it didn't go as well as I had hoped.""Is he married or something?" I honestly hadn't thought to investigate his relationship status. But it's a good enough excuse to get her off my back."Yeah, there was a picture of him and some female on his desk. He
The double date ends with Dante kissing my cheek and giving me his phone number. I agree to go on another date with him and he'll take me to his Black Sparrow's concert. He plays the drums. He'll remind me of my little brother, Corbin back home. Growing up Corbin always played the drums in the afternoon. He died of cancer when he was twelve. I sure miss him.Evie leads us back to our dorm room. My phone buzzes. I ignore it."Well, what did you think of the date? Did you enjoy it or was it plain?"Truth be told it was nice. Dante's interesting enough as far as male prospects go and he did spend the majority of the night staring at my chest every other glance. Which is more than Spencer ever gave me."I enjoyed it. I like him. You're right. I need to get a boyfriend. Maybe Dante's the right guy for me. Come to think of it I think Dante's in my world history class with Professor Oakley. I should try sitting next to him on Monday."Evie agrees and starts getting ready for bed. Her rituals
Date night is here! Evie is excited to get down and dirty with Benjamin in the aftermath of our double date. Me on the other hand, I have no plans to fuck Dante. That would be too soon and I want losing my v-card to mean something. Or at least a little something. If I am to sleep with Dante I want to get to know him first or even fall for him a little before hand. I'm not asking too much. It took me two months to fall for Spencer, I am sure I could repeat the process if need be.I spent the entire world history class period avoiding eye contact with Professor Oakley. I sat by Dante who doodled guitars all over his notes. At least we have drawing in common. It was a nice discovery prior to our date night. It allowed me to have enough time to sketch a large guitar for Dante.I pull the guitar drawing out of my sketch book and roll it up for Dante. I slip it into my purse. Evie is ready for me to become a woman. I wear a nice tightly fitting black dress and don't feel like myself one bit
Professor Oakley drives a black Silverado. He doesn't strike me as the type to drive a truck. But I hardly know anything about him.I sit still in the car and listen to the quiet jazz music playing softly in the background. My heart's a mess but it shouldn't be. Students are not supposed to be attracted to their professors. He's made so many passes at me, it's hard not to remember them all by name.Professor Oakley wasn't planning on having me ride in his car tonight. We didn't know we would run into each other. It was a meeting by chance. I'm not sure where Professor Oakley is planning on taking me, it either needs to be far away or we need to go to his house.The idea of going to Professor Oakley's house and being alone with him makes me want to panic. The way I feel right now is how I used to feel when I dated Spencer. In a word, Giddy. My phone buzzed earlier and I still haven't checked it. I check it now in the silence of the car. It's Spencer checking in on me to see how colleg
Did last night really happen? It's getting hard to distinguish fact from fiction. It's all a blur now. I wake up early and find an impatient Evie waiting for me at the end of my bed."What the hell happened last night? Where did you go? How did you get back here?" Evie taps her fingers on my desk with her bright nail polish.Now what am I supposed to do? I did text Dante that I wasn't feeling well. I could just roll with that story and be done with it."I got sick. I think some one spiked my drink and I got a ride home with a girl from my English class. It's fine. I text Dante. I feel bad about it. But my stomach was fire and you and Benjamin were enjoying each other's faces too much. I didn't want to bother you."I'm not a habitual liar or a pathological one, but lying to Evie is getting easier. I don't want to make a habit of lying to her, but until I know how I feel about Blake and if it's worth it my lips need to remain shut. He and I have an understanding about that.This is a ne
Professor Oakley has me grinning from ear to ear. If I'm not careful Evie will catch on. I never thought a college professor would notice the likes of me. But he has and now what do I do? Maybe if we agree to only see each other a few times a month then it would be easier to keep it a secret. Our texts to each other tell another story. We flirt a lot, and he wants to push it further.He wants me to go to his house this weekend around the same time as my next forced double date with Dante. Ugh. Dante still wants that study coffee date. I don't think Blake would appreciate me partnering up with another man who also has an attraction toward me. But I do need to study and his tests aren't exactly the easiest to master.So I guess I'm just going to have to partner up with Dante anyway and study. Dante isn't exactly the sexiest man on this campus. Not sure how to keep Evie out of my romance life. She's so nosy and at some point I'm sure she'll brownnose this out of me. Evie wants to be a jo
I bring my sketch book to my date. Dante doesn't have anything fancy planned. But still hanging out with him is better than being broken by Spencer or having my heart crushed by a tall blonde woman waltzing into my professor's office. I shouldn't even care who my teacher fraternizes with and yet I do."Is something wrong? You seem distracted?" Dante asks as he holds a pair of drum sticks in his hands and begins striking the table loudly. His drumming annoys the coffee shop staff enough they come over and tell him to put them away or he will need to leave."I am distracted. That darn history test. I won't pass. And I'm annoyed with Professor Oakley."Fuck that last part was not supposed to slip. My mouth has run away with me again."What did he do? Make us study? Maybe college isn't your thing."Maybe Dante is to preoccupied with his drumming to notice. I almost want to talk about history so I can be mad at Blake. We aren't dating, but why did he rub me in places no one else has. Am I
"Oh my God, Cora. Oh my God. Why didn't you tell me?" Evie says as she slurps her water loudly while returning from her run. I hate it when she exercises. My best friend smells like a rancid goat when she gets back from her morning runs. I don't understand why people run, it hurts my knees and makes my ankles ache."What are you talking about?" I really hope this isn't about Dante I'm not in the mood."Benjamin told me that you drew another sketch for Dante. And that Dante put it up on his wall. At this rate you both will be dating and your v-card issue will be solved."It's not Evie's fault that she doesn't know I find Dante unattractive. It's not her fault that I don't want to actually date him. I just keep him around just in case things with Professor Oakley don't work out. They probably won't because of that blonde woman, his Helen of Troy, will claim his heart."Yeah, it's great we are hanging out." That much is true. I do appreciate Dante as a friend, but I never plan to date h