I am an Omega, so what?

**Evelyn**

“Luna, it's so boring here! Can we go to the park and play? Please Luna! We miss playing with you!” 

I looked at the little boy smiling up at me, his big brown eyes full of innocence and hope. If only I could feel half as hopeful as him... Too bad. I was not as naïve as a four-year-old.

Shaking off the unpleasant thought, I smiled at him even though it never reached my eyes. How could I explain to a child that we were in the midst of a war and our peaceful days were all but a memory? 

“I would really love that too, but not today, Mike. We can go to the park some other day,” I said before pausing, trying to think how I could explain to him that going out was not safe anymore. But I didn’t want to be the one to taint his innocence. Not when his parents had tried their best to shield him from the horror that was happening around him.

“Why not now?” He pouted, his eyes drooping dramatically. 

“We are a little busy now, kiddo. Otherwise, will I ever say no to my favorite little boy?”

Mike nodded in understanding before smiling brightly.

“Oh yes, the warrior training, right Luna? Momma told me everyone is busy getting ready for an event for the next month and all warriors are training for it!” He announced proudly.

I sighed, my throat feeling tight. Warrior training for an event… That was what the parents of the little ones had come up with to explain all the injuries and mayhem in our pack. The kids were too innocent to know that it was too much blood and gore for any training ever. As long as they could stay free of the burdens of us adults…

“Right, kiddo. You are so smart!” I praised him and he beamed at me.

“Then we can go to play once the event is over, right?” 

“O-of course,” I choked out, feeling like a liar. 

“And then you will buy us all ice cream like always, won’t you?”

“Definitely, kiddo.” I said, my throat feeling tight as I wondered if it will ever happen again. The days when I used to play with the little ones in the pack while eating ice cream with them felt as if it was a lifetime ago. All I could remember now was the depressing feeling of loss and doom that hung around each one of us these days.

“Promise?” He asked, raising his pinky finger towards me.

“Promise,” I replied, raising my hand towards him and touching his pinky finger with mine.

“Yay!” Mike cheered, and I smiled at him in response. A genuine one for a change. When was the last time I had smiled for real? Ever since the war between our pack and the Moonstone pack had started two months ago, smiling was almost a chore for me. With the war destroying the very essence of our pack, I had to put on a strong front to boost the morale of everyone who looked upon me as their Luna. Even when all I wanted to do was burst into tears after seeing the suffering all around, I had to put on a smile and tell them we will be back to our glory soon. Even if we all knew that it may very well not be the case…

“Mike!” Hearing the shout, I looked back to see Sandra, Mike’s mother, rushing towards us, looking anxious. The little one must have sneaked out telling her and she must have been worried when she couldn’t find him. 

“It’s ok Sandra, he was with me,” I said, trying to reassure her. It was not unusual for the kids to spend time with me and the tired moms were usually glad for the break. But I had a bad feeling when Sandra didn’t look relieved, like I expected her to. Usually she would have been smiling and asking me how her little devil had been or making idle chitchat about something by now. But right now, she was staring at me in a peculiar way that made my heart tighten. She looked… irritated to see her kid with me? Why?

“Is there anything wrong, Sandra?” I asked, trying not to show my unease.

Instead of answering me, Sandra suddenly pulled Mike towards her before standing in front of him… as if she was protecting him. From what? Me? I stood there gaping at her in disbelief. I was the one who took care of this kid whenever she needed me to and now she was wary of her kid being with me? Even if everyone was stressed with the war, wasn’t this too much?

“Lu-Luna, with the Alpha away, you must be really busy. Don’t let Mike bother you. I will take care of him,” Sandra blurted out abruptly before practically dragging away Mike who was yelling at her that he wanted to spend more time with me. 

I stood there, staring at their backs and even as they turned the corner and vanished from my sight, I couldn’t turn my eyes away. As I stood alone in the garden where I used to feel calm even on the worst of days, all I could feel right now was tiredness. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be spending anymore time with Mike or the other kids from now. 

“Luna! Incoming injured in the west wing!” 

I was brought out of my thoughts hearing the shout and looked back, my chest feeling heavy. Again? This was the third time this day, and it was barely noon. The fragile threads of hope I was clinging onto threatened to break as a sense of defeat slithered down my spine. Deaths, injuries, loss… How did it all turn to this when, barely two months ago, we were the second strongest pack in the entire country?

I sighed as I shook the thoughts away. It was time to get back into Luna mode. 

I turned, running towards the west wing, only to slow down hearing the shouts of despair and wails of agony.

I should have been used to seeing wounded people all around us, seeing that it has been more than two months since this blasted war started. Still, each day I woke up with the hope that today was the day we would get the news of us winning the war. That I would no longer have to see the people I loved wither away with hopelessness. That I don’t have to see the people around me lose their loved ones. But it was all in vain. We were losing and I could only watch helplessly.

Steeling myself, I walked in, the stench of blood assaulting my nostrils immediately. As I stood there, my eyes passing over the wailing people reaching out for their loved ones and the wounded people moaning with pain, my breath turned heavy. The injured whom I have been taking care of were all shifted into a corner of the makeshift hospital room to make space for the newly arrived who were in much worse condition. Too many… just how long can we go on like this?

My gaze fell on the doctors struggling to push down an injured guy who seemed worse than the rest. He was thrashing around, pained grunts escaping him as he pushed off the doctors aggressively, his eyes staring around like that of a wounded animal trying to escape from predators. Probably, he was in shock from the traumatic injury he was dealt with and thought he was still surrounded by enemies. I rushed towards him, helping the doctors hold him down and tried to calm him down.

“There, there, you are home, you are safe,” I said in a gentle voice, wishing I could give him hope. Only hope to live would help him get over his pain and cooperate with the treatment. I felt my breath hitch when I realised he was younger than I first thought. Probably in his mid twenties, only a few years older than me. As I looked at him, his desperate blue eyes turned towards me. Slowly, I gave him a smile, even though it felt more like a grimace. 

“Please… You have to live. You must have a mother and father waiting for you at home. Even a wife and kids? You need to go back home for them,” I said, and his eyes were focused on me. Good. Once he calms down, it will be easy to get him treated. Goddess, please let him be alright!

“We will get you treated, and you will be fine soon. Just stay calm and let them treat you please,” I told him and heaved a sigh of relief when his struggles ended abruptly. But the relief soon turned to horror when I realized that his blue eyes filled with pain were turning glassy. He was gone…

I stumbled backwards, my hands flying to my mouth. Seeing a life ending right before my eyes, I could never get used to it, even if it was not new to me anymore. Tears dripped from my eyes unbeknownst to me as the doctors left the body unceremoniously before moving on to the next patient, who needed their care. I could only stand there and stare at him with wide eyes. I couldn’t move away and tend to another person who would need my help like the doctors did. This young man was breathing a moment ago, staring right into my eyes while I uttered words of hope to him. And now he was dead and alone, just like that…

“Lucas!” 

A middle-aged woman wailed as she rushed towards the body. As she realised her son was dead, she fell down on the ground, huge heaving sobs racking her body. As she held her son’s head and cried, I slowly went to her, the urge to offer comfort taking over me. Silently, I sat near her and held her shoulder, letting her know that I was there for her. The woman continued babbling incoherently, and I didn’t know if she even realised my presence. 

“My boy! Wake up! You know momma can’t live without you! You can sleep after we go home! Just wake up Luca!” She shook the body and as her son laid unresponsive, she let out a heart wrenching scream. 

“Why Goddess? Why? He was the only one I had in this world! My only hope! All I wanted was to see him marry someone he loved and have a family of his own before I died. And now you took him away before my child could even start living. Why?!”

My heart twisted in pain as I patted her shoulders and she raised her head towards me, probably noticing me just now. Suddenly, her eyes filled with hatred and she slapped my hand off her shoulder.

“You! It’s all because of you!” She screeched, and I stared at her with shock.

“If only our Alpha had waited and mated with his fated mate instead of falling in love with a lowly omega like you, he wouldn’t have gotten this weak! We wouldn’t have been losing the fights like now! Hell, there may not even be a war if he had been at his full strength with his fated mate beside him!” The woman accused as she pointed her finger at me and I could feel the eyes of everyone turn towards us, her voice echoing around as everyone turned silent all at once. Even the moaning of the injured seemed to stop for a moment.

“How will you know the pain of losing your child when you couldn’t even give our Alpha a child? If only we didn’t have a weak Luna like you, my son and many others wouldn’t have lost their lives in vain like this!” she cried, her eyes looking crazed with pain and anger. 

Soon murmurs of agreement rose from everywhere, those who lost their loved ones to death pointing their fingers towards me. These were the same people whom I had treated as family over the years I had been their Luna. Unable to stand their accusing gazes anymore, I turned and fled, not knowing where I was going.

Once I could no longer hear the cries nor smell the stench of blood, I slid down the floor, leaning against the wall. I closed my eyes as tears slid down, my mind going back to the time when I had fallen in love with Ryan, the soon to be Alpha. I was just an omega then, but I was loved well by my parents and never felt inferior to anyone. When Ryan announced to everyone that he had chosen me as his mate, there were many who were against his decision, wanting him to find his fated mate. But Ryan was adamant and when we married, everyone hated it at first. But soon, my efforts to be a good Luna paid off and slowly everyone accepted me. I thought that we had overcome every hurdle, but this war opened my eyes. It was me who had foolishly thought of them as my family, but they had never truly accepted me…

My hand fell on my stomach as I remembered the woman’s words. I couldn’t give Ryan a child… But I knew the pain of losing a child because I was once pregnant. And then I had lost that baby. A loss that I had never gotten over. 

Tears continued falling from my eyes as I thought of all the murmurs, accusing gazes and hatred I received just because I was not the Alpha’s fated mate. But I could only bear the resentment and continue to try being a good Luna. I had to hope that they would get over it someday and accept my efforts. 

I wiped my tears as I thought of Ryan, my loving husband who would wreak havoc in this pack if he ever knew that people blamed me for him losing in the war. I couldn’t let it happen. He already had a lot on his plate with the war, and I didn’t want to add to his burden. I had to be strong and take care of my issues on my own. It was the price I had to pay for becoming the Luna when I was never supposed to be…

I was shaken out of my thoughts when I heard a shout.

“Luna! The Alpha has returned! And he is injured!”

Suddenly, my mind turned blank, and I felt my heart stop beating for a moment. Ryan was injured?

With my heart in my throat, I rushed out, only to stop in my tracks as my gaze fell on my mate. Unlike what I feared, he wasn’t being carried in by others but walking towards the packhouse with determined strides. 

I stood there scanning him, looking over for injuries, but as far as I could see, I didn’t spot anything warranting urgency. Once my worries faded away, I looked up, meeting his golden eyes, which were filled with warmth. My Ryan was here, and he was fine. 

I felt my lips raise into a smile as I watched him walk towards me, but the smile froze on my face as I noticed what I had missed till now in my fear of his safety. He was here, but he was not alone. Beside him, our warriors were also returning after the battle. And one of them was carrying an unconscious woman in his arms. I didn’t know why, but the moment my gaze fell on her, I had a feeling that life as I knew it was going to change forever…