Chapter VIII: Her Name

Days had passed since I first went here at Lumiere. Medyo minamalas, o siguro talagang malas lang ako? Wala pa din akong mahanap na trabaho. I have only two days remaining at hindi na kakayanin ng pera na dala ko ang mga gastusin. Mabuti sana kung makahanap agad ako ng trabaho, pwede akong makiusap para mag-advanced.

Heck.

 My days are getting even more lonely and gloomy. There are times that I am thinking of just hanging myself in my room, but I can't. Wala akong mapag-sabitan ng lubid. I even walked in the middle of the night and jogged around to lighten up this heavy feeling within me. But those aren't enough.

Violet told me about the Beast town. She said there are lots of gardens, farms, and agricultural museums there. She said I could enjoy the place and look for a job at the same time.

The town is almost an hour and half from Lumiere.

Today could be a nice day to die.

Why not? The weather is nice, the place is beautiful. The only problem is how to die.

For the past few days, Chris hasn't bothered me. He's probably gathering some information—to know my name. I did not think he would be that serious. He could have traveled alone, less expenses pa iyon. Or he could have another person to join him, it's a great offer. Just too much for me.

Everything that Violet told me was right. The plaza looks like a garden full of different species of plants and flowers. There are lots of tourists around and travel guides who offer solo trips, date trips, family trips, and group trips.

There is signage and a tarpaulin which shows where the gardens, farms, and museums are located. A travel map. I took a picture of it.

First stop, Tafiti Sunflower Garden.

My mom loves Sunflowers so much. I can still remember her, planting giant sunflowers in our backyard. I would watch her from the window and if she sees me, she would tell me to come over and help her. I would gladly come and play with the dirt, since I do not have a green thumb, I would just dig for her and she'll plant the seeds. I have not even tried to plant again since the first time I tried, walang nabuhay sa mga itinanim ko.

The sunflowers here are stunning. All arranged according to their species, approximately one thousand meters per square is allocated for one species. And here, it looks like they have all the species! There are also benches and swings around the whole garden. A small pizza house. A nipa hut situated right in the middle of the whole place. There is also a shop where you can buy sunflower seeds, bouquets, and sunflower merchandise.

I stayed for more than two hours just sitting at a swing and watching the people come, take pictures, eat, buy, and leave.

I put on my earphones and walk towards the next gardens that are close here. Every person I get to talk with about me – looking for a job, were asking why am I applying to them. They say I am overqualified since I finished a four-year course. Truth is that, I wanna lie low, the lower the better. The lower I am, the farther I could stay away from my father.

I went to two agricultural museums, another two flower farms, and now I am on my way to my last stop. The famous rose garden of Beast town. Rumor has it that a real beast is inhabiting this place where he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He could not confess his love for her since he’s a beast and she’s a lovely maiden. The beast would always look at the maiden from afar, and since the maiden loves roses, he started planting them here. He saw how he adored a fancy castle in the books, so he built a castle for her. When the beast was about to die, the maiden found out about the place. In the remaining days of the beast, the maiden took care of him. The beast was happy that finally, the maiden he’s looking from afar is taking care of him now. He did not confess to her, rather he told her to take care of the place that he really made for her. The beast died. She took care of the place, got married, and entrusted the place to her children when she died. Nagpasalin-salin ang lupain na ito hanggang sa ka-apo-apuhan niya. Hanggang sa ngayon. And that is the story of this place, well I think that is just a made up story by the management for tourist attraction.

It really is astonishing tho. You’ll be mesmerized by the gigantic gate that would greet you. It really looks like a palace with an enormous garden full of different varieties of roses. After entering the gate, you’ll be greeted by the roses planted in front of a castle which really looks like a castle straight out of a children’s book. It’s lovely!

There are still a lot of tourists around, enjoying the wonderful place since it’ll close later than the other attractions I’ve been to. Siguro nga kaya ito ang nasa last list nila dahil alas-dose pa ng gabi ito nagsasarado.

Inikot ko ang buong lugar, habang dumidilim ay lalong gumaganda dito dahil sa nagsisimula na nilang buhayin ang mga ilaw sa bawat poste, at maging ang ilaw sa kastilyo. It feels like I am traveling back in time where there are still princes and princesses who live in a castle. The monarchy.

You can even get inside the castle, it is actually a hotel but whether you’ll be staying or not, you can still roam around. Mayroong namang mga signages na nakalagay if it’s a prohibited area. While roaming around, I found a huge pond surrounded by trees at the back of the palace. There is a sign saying, “off limits” that’s why I find it interesting.

The pond is really huge, almost half of a soccer field. The water is clear which gives me the idea that it is clean and is maintained by the management. And yet, they are so selfish for not letting the tourists see this! Rocks are around the pond itself, a mini falls that is created by the layer of rocks. I can’t see any fish, but the water is clear and is calling to me.

And just by seeing the enchanting pond, an idea came off my mind.

The area is off limits, there are no guards, no CCTV cameras, and it is almost seven p.m. I removed my dress and left all my belongings at the back of a tree. I gently tapped my feet in the water. The coldness climbed up from my feet to my whole self. I shivered in the cold. Slowly, I walked, feeling the water. Wala pa ako sa gitna ngunit ulo ko na lamang ang nakalabas. I slowly walked a bit closer to the middle. I closed my eyes and felt the water that was hugging my whole body. I held my breath.

A strong arm hugged me and lifted me out of the water. Pumalag ako at nagpupumiglas. The arms were so strong!

As soon as my body felt the grass, I opened my eyes and to my horror, I pushed the man who’s standing in front of me.

Chris!

It is Chris!

“Why do you always have to meddle with my life!” I shouted at him and hugged my body. Gosh! He’s topless. He is just wearing jeans. Why does he always come, always! At the wrong time and at the wrong place. I thought he’s busy and would not bother me for a long time and yet, here he is again.

I stood up, “What the hell is that?!” He did not respond, instead, he looked at my body. I am just in my undergarments! He’s looking intently at my belly and thigh. He was about to come near me but I made my way to my belongings and put on my dress.

“Isn’t it stupid to kill yourself here?” He said. Cross-arms, leaning over the tree, eyes closed. He is still not wearing his shirt. Drops of water from his hair are falling to his face and upper body. He looks like a model, and if I am not mad right now, I should have praised his gorgeous body.

Kinuha ko ang bag ko at tinalikuran siya, “I am not gonna kill myself. Stupid.” He stopped me from walking away. He captured my arms and pulled me to him. “If you’re not gonna kill yourself, then what are you doing there? You just want to swim?” He asked with an evident tone of sarcasm.

I removed his hands from my arms and pulled away from his grip. “Gusto kong malaman kung gaano katagal ko kayang pigilan ‘yung paghinga ko.” I rolled my eyes. As I was about to walk out again, he grabbed my arms again!

“What? It’s absurd? Edi huwag kang maniwala!” It is an obvious lie, but I don’t want to lose to him.

Nang maramdaman ko na wala siyang plano na bitawan ako ay umupo na lamang ako sa damuhan. A tear escaped from my eyes, and I know that I can’t hold back my emotions right now. He sat down beside me. He stayed quiet while I was quietly sobbing.

I let out a loud sigh and wiped away my tears. Funny how one moment you’re happy, and then for a second all the emotions you are trying to bury deep within you would explode. I was fine today, I can feel it. I am happily wandering around the town, looking for a job. And then I found this pond.

I thought I was going to die here tonight. But then again, he came...again. I don’t know why I feel so pressured, disappointed, and a little bit of happiness is growing within my heart.

Chris came closer to me and hugged. Hindi ko napansin na nanginginig na pala ako sa lamig. And I think that is the reason why he hugged me. He gently caressed my hair as I leaned my body closer to him. My head on his chest, his hands gently rubbing the palm of my hands. I don’t know why it feels nostalgic, safe, and warm.

“It’s okay. I’m here, Leira.”