Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I was in a hurry to go home. I took a cab from school so I could get home quickly.

I was nervous and still confused about what's happening. I don't know where to start thinking. My mother is a good person. She doesn't have any enemy. Yes, she argue with our land lady sometimes but, I know that she's never been hated too much as this.

While I was on the trip, I'm feeling nervous, my hands are shaking. I can't breathe normally. It felt like there's a hallow that stuck in my chest that it felt heavy to breathe.

Until the cab stopped in front of our house I still couldn’t get the shiver out of my chest. I paid first before going down.

When I stepped on the ground, my chest started to pound faster than earlier. From a distance I saw our our house with full of my relatives.

.

Tears welled down in my eyes. My view became blurry in tears. My chest hurts a lot in pain. I could not breathe. I can't step more. My whole body was shaking. I do not know. I don’t know how to approach, how to go near that house either how to walk.

Cynthia greeted me with wide eyes. That's when I cried. I fell on the ground. I bent down on my knees in exhaustion. Ate Janice catch me because I knelt down on the ground. They all cried. I hear them calling my name but, I'm not in myself anymore. I just cried a lot as I can. I want to release the pain, the burden and all the hallow in my chest.

I can not believe. This is not a dream. I hope it's just a dream. Why is this happening to me? Why is this still happening to us? Why us?

Cynthia and my cousins ​​helped me enter our house. I was at the door of our house and I saw my mother. Wearing a white dress and peacefully lying in her white coffin. She looked so pretty wearing her white dress. She looked like she's only sleeping.

My tears flowed even more. The pain in my chest reach its peak. It was as if heaven and earth had fallen on me. I can't look at her for long. It feels like I wanted to die too so that, I would not feel any pain too.

When I became calm, Cynthia made me sit on a chair next to Mom's coffin and told me what had happened.

While Mom was selling in the market, five armed men came and suddenly shot Mom and then left as if nothing had happened.

I was stunned by Cynthia's story. I didn't know that Mom owed anything but only our land lady but, I know our land lady will not do that to her. I know our family has an enemy on my grandparents ’farmland but what I know is that it is finished long time ago.

I can’t imagine why and who caused my Mother’s murder. I want justice for her but how can we achieve that? Aside from the fact that we don’t have money for a lawyer we don’t have enough evidence to pinpoint who did it.

This is how it is in this world. If you are poor, you cannot achieve justice because justice is only for the rich.

How am I now? I no longer have a mother. I also don’t have a father to be recognized. Because my Dad left my Mom when he found out she was pregnant with me and he is not ready to take a responsibility for it. I didn’t know my dad and Mom didn’t introduce him to me either. Now, I am alone. Cynthia and my other cousins ​​are just poor like us.

I want to work but I don't know how to start looking. I know all the tasks, to do the households and many more but, I'm still in senior high school so I can only get an undergraduate job.

For now, I’m here next to Mom. I feel like I can't live without her. She has been my Mom and Dad since I was born. She is the bravest woman I know because she raised me alone and she raised me to be good person.

Like her, I must be brave too. I have to face it all. I know that God is just testing it all out. I have a dream, I will fulfill it for Mom, for myself and for my future. Because that's all I have to do to survive and to be successful someday.

"How's life?" It's Joaquin my childhood bestfriend. He's sitting next to me. We're sitting on the bench and spending our break time in the garden at our school.

A refreshing wind blew my hair. I sniff the air like it was my favourite scent. The sky had been painted in a color of powder blue while the clouds had shattered all over it, traveling and following the breeze of the wind. A group of birds flying in the sky, enjoying their freedom to fly.

"Doing fine. How 'bout you?". I asked him and took a big bite in my sandwich. He opend a bottle of water and took a sip on it. While he's looking at me in a serious face.

"You looked not fine. How can I be fine if you're not?". He said after sipping on a bottled water and put it back on hid side and he moved his body to face me.

"Hey, I'm fine. I just...miss my mom." I said and I finished the last bite of my sandwich. He just shrugged his shoulders and looked away.

I know that he wanted me to tell him how I honestly feel about. Yeah, I'm not fine at all. How can I be fine when everyday I feel so alone? When I know that no one's gonna cook my breakfast in the morning and kissed me in the forehead while saying 'I love you, dear'.

I want to be strong in the eyes of everyone. I don't wanna make them feel that they should pity me 'cause I'm now alone. Especially to my relatives and also to my friend Joaquin.

"But, if you know you're not fine or you feel that your lonely and sad, just call me and I will be there for you. Always." He said while looking at the sky. I looked at him with an amused smile. He's incredible. It's like God gave me a shoulder to lean on, an eye to watch me, an ear to listen for my stories and dramas in life and an angel to save me from any trouble. Especially in tears.

"Really? What if you're in the middle of playing in the court? Would you run to me?"I said and I saw his eyebrows furrowed. He looked at the sky thinking about it. I know that he'll never be bother while playing basketball.

"Except on that! You know me, huh? You know that I don't want to be bothered while playing basketball." He chuckled and I laugh at him. I knew it! This jerk! He'll betray me because of the damn basketball game! Unbelievable!