Chapter 18: Leaving

January understood my decision to leave tonight. Kaila didn’t interfere, either. They both knew that leaving this pack behind was the best choice for me, to begin a new life somewhere far from the past that nearly destroyed me.

"Zeus told me to help you, so I agree with this, November," January said gently, once Kaila had left us to prepare our lunch. “I thought I had lost you when I saw you unconscious in the hospital. I'd rather have you far away and alive than buried six feet under. You scared the life out of me, sis.”

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I was selfish… I didn’t think of how my choices would hurt you or Kaila. I was lost, Bro."

He smiled at me then, truly smiled—and I could see it in his eyes: the relief that I was still here, still breathing, and slowly finding my way back.

"So... when are you leaving?" he asked quietly.

"Tonight," I replied.

"That soon?"

"The sooner, the better."

“Lunch is ready!” Kaila’s voice rang out from the dining area.

We stood up and joined her, and I saw the entire table covered with steaming plates, my favorite food and  in a bowl beside crusty rye bread.

"I made all your favorite dishes, November," Kaila said, beaming.

"Thank you," I said, my throat tightening.

The moment I took my first spoonful, tears welled in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.

"Are you okay, November? Are you in pain?" January asked, worry etched on his face.

I shook my head and swallowed. “No. I’m… I’m happy. I haven’t truly tasted anything in months. Not like this.”

"Then eat as much as you can, November. This—this is all for you,” Kaila said, her own tears threatening to fall.

For months, my body had relied solely on water. My appetite had died with the old version of me. But now, something stirred—a flicker of life. My body remembered what it was to be cared for, to be loved.

After the meal, I helped Kaila wash the dishes. While drying a plate, she hugged me suddenly from behind.

“I’m happy you're finding your way again. January and I… we’ve been so worried.”

I wasn’t better.

Not yet.

I was still bleeding on the inside, just hidden now beneath a smile. My pain had simply gone underground—bandaged but not healed. I couldn’t let them see it anymore. I wouldn’t burden them again.

“I should go,” I said. “I need to visit the restaurant.”

“Be careful,” she whispered.

After changing into fresh clothes and slipping on sunglasses to hide the faint red hue still lingering in one eye, I headed out. The resto was a short walk, but it felt like a pilgrimage. One last stop before I severed my ties here completely.

Matthew was wiping down the counter when I stepped in. His eyes met mine, and I saw his unease.

"You’re not in some kind of trouble again, are you?" he asked, his voice low but firm.

"No," I said with a small smile. "It’s just… time. Time for me to move on.”

Matthew had always been good to me, and it hurt to leave him hanging after he’d kept me employed all these years.

“This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with what happened a few months back, would it? Some young guy came here, told me you collapsed after being taken home.”

My stomach clenched. So the rumors had reached him after all.

“No,” I lied smoothly. “I’m leaving because it’s what I want to do.”

Matthew studied me for a long moment, then nodded slowly. “Well… you’ll always have a place here, if ever you decide to come back.”

“Thank you, Matthew,” I said, and meant it.

I called January to pick me up. On the ride home, I stared out the window, burning every street, tree, and shadow into memory. This was my hometown. My roots. My ghosts. I shifted for the first time in our backyard. I had my first crush in that creaky middle school gymnasium. These memories didn’t just vanish. They were stitched into me.

Still, I had to leave. I had to heal in a place far from where the bleeding began.

When we got home, Kaila greeted me with two large suitcases.

“Come, November,” she said, her voice trembling with an unspoken ache. “I prepared every food and snack you love.”

Though Knox was her cousin, Kaila and I had been like real sisters since childhood. I knew this goodbye would hurt her deeply.

I patted her head and gave her a crooked smile. “I’ll still visit. I promise.”

Her smile wobbled, but she nodded.

As she placed all the snacks I wanted, I sat on the edge of the bed, silently watching. Her suitcase looked far better than mine—color-coded, organized. That was Kaila: full-time homemaker, meticulous, nurturing. I was the opposite. A workaholic, restless, driven. We were nothing alike, and yet, I loved her like family.

I wasn’t like any of the she-wolves in our old pack.

They were all homemakers, devoted mothers, obedient mates. None held rank or voice in the council. That had always bothered me.

I didn’t want to be silent.

I didn’t want to be submissive.

And Knox… he had wanted a Luna who would be.

He loved Emerald because she fit that mold—soft-spoken, compliant, the perfect image of what a Luna should be.

But I had never believed in that.

A pack needs two leaders—an Alpha and a Luna. Equal. United. Powerful.

I wasn’t what he wanted. That’s why he rejected me.

And now I was walking away from it all—with pain, yes—but also with something else blooming in the distance.

Hope.