Chapter 19: Last talk

As I waited for Zeus to come and get me, I had time to think about my life since I learned Knox was my mate. There was never a day that I wouldn’t be in pain and then hid in my cave, silently crying. I never expected that someone would come and choose me as their second chance.

Though since the rejection, I have doubted myself. There are a lot of questions flooding my mind. Was I not good enough? 

I continued watching Kaila packing up the food and I helped her  until I could no longer bear it. I fell onto my bed and slumped. Kaila jerked her head towards me before walking to the end I sat on and took the clean spot next to me.

"What's wrong with me, Kai?"

She wrapped her slender hands around 

my shoulders in an act of comfort and sighed wearily.

"There's nothing with you, November. You just lost your mate. It's a completely natural reaction to that," she said.

I shook my head. 

"No, not that. I mean my whole life. Why am I so different from all of the other female wolves?"

Sympathy crossed over her features as she stared back at me. 

"There's nothing wrong with you like I said, November. You are your own person. You are special," she said.

“Hmmm,” I hummed. “Look at you and me," I said. "You chose to stay at home and care for your mate just as most everyone chooses. In school, all the girls were so excited to meet their mates that they would claim them, and they could start baring pups. I wasn't like that. I mean, sure, I want to find mine, but settling down is the last thing on my mind. I want some excitement and adventure. Exactly what a real Luna should want, not just to bear the next Alpha."

Kaila laughed.

"You really speak like Mom. Your view and her view are the same. Maybe one day, you'll change the boring tradition in all the packs worldwide. I understand your opinion, but November, you can do what you want. Explore the world and settle down when you feel like you have fulfilled your dream. And I hope Zeus isn't like Knox," she said, smiling at me.

That is exactly what I am expecting from Zeus. I hope he's not like Knox; that would betray me in the future.

I looked at her and held her hands.

"Will I get her back?" I asked. "My wolf, I mean."

"She's been distant," she acknowledged. "That's reasonable, all things considered. She's hurt too. The only difference between the two of you is that you have someone to console, and she doesn't. She's grieving all alone."

"Oh," I mumble, understanding my wolf washing over me.

"Don't worry," She patted my hand gently. "I think that with a little time and healing, she'll be back. It's probably going to take her a little longer to heal than you, that's all."

That made sense. As Kaila said, she is alone. I couldn't even help her.

"Thanks, mom," I teased her. "I don't know how to survive without our talks when I go."

"You'll manage, my daughter," Kaila rode with my teasing. "You have Zeus."

Both of us laughed. Kaila was a mother figure to me even before he met my brother. Her wisdom reminds me of my mom.

Once she let me go, I stiffened. The atmosphere around us had changed. The smell in the air was one I would know anywhere.

I felt my wolf starting to stir. So, she was there, and she didn't try to resurface. She wasn't remaining dormant either.

My eyes flashed to the doorway where January stuck his head as if he was testing the water. Knox. He looked almost remorseful.

"November," he said as he entered. "Someone is here to see you."

I stood up abruptly from my bed and backed into the further corner of my room to get away from him. I couldn't, and I just couldn't be near him.

"No," I whispered. "I can't see Knox again. Send him away."

But it was too late. He was already in my room, standing before me next to my brother. I felt like I was suffocating. The proximity between us was entirely close.

He was in my house! Why?

Kaila looked visibly upset at her mate. She glared at him and her brother before speaking.

"Why are you here, Knox? How could you? You know what you put her through! And you, Jan. How dare you?"

That was the first time Kaila stood up against January and Knox. She was always on January’s side because she believed in standing with your mate, no matter the circumstances. This was the exact opposite of that.

January  hangs his head shamefully.

"I'm sorry, I have to let him in."

Knox chose this time to speak up. He was looking directly at me. 

"Don't be mad at him. He had no choice except to let me in. It was an order."

It was startling how much his voice and everything about him still affected me. It wasn't fair. When he chose Emerald that should have vanished. He had no right to be back here.

That hurt I felt is still present, but unlike this last time, there was also anger mixed in with it.

"Could I speak to November alone, please?"

It was a request, but I could hear the order underlining his words. They had to comply because they were part of his pack.

They both nodded in submission, and Kaila stood from the bed. January waited for her to reach him, and they both exited the room.

I pressed myself even further into the wall when he stepped towards me. A whimper unintentionally escaped my throat. I could only imagine how weak I appeared to him. 

However, he didn't look much better. Behind his eyes, he is broken. Perhaps not as much as I was, but he didn't get out of this completely unscathed.

"I'm just here to talk," he said. "I won't come any further if you would prefer."