Chapter 20: Corfirmation

"I come here to talk," Knox said. "I won't come any further if you would prefer it."

 

I didn't speak. I was afraid to even dare to speak. My voice couldn't hold up talking to Knox. Everything I buried deep inside would come spilling out with my words. 

Instead of answering, I nodded at him, and he understood. He dropped his hands and sat facing me on the edge of my bed.  Even in my wolf's weak state, she tried to listen. 

"I had to see you before you left. I need to explain myself before you hate me forever."

 His words seem sincere, and I have difficulty believing in him. But my wolf believed in him. 

"I want you to know I never intended to reject you," he began. "The day I discovered you was the happiest moment in my life but I already had Emerald. If only I had known earlier, I would have chosen you.”

“You had the choice. Three years ago but you never wanted me. You wanted Emerald. You don’t have to reason, Knox. She would always be your choice. It doesn’t matter if both of you hurt someone else,” I said, and saw him flinch. 

This bastard was stupid, making it sound like it was my fault not learning he was my mate sooner when he and Emerald were together when they were still teenagers. 

"I was confused at first.”

I heaved a sigh. 

"No, you're not. Your love for Emerald bound you, and I get it. That's why you chose her over me. In everyone's eyes, she's suited to be your Luna. So why bother coming over and explaining yourself?" 

I couldn't help but get angry with him. He is clearly saying I was his option for convenience. He'll use me to satisfy his wolf, but his heart and loyalty remain to Emerald. 

 That's not fair. I don't want to be like that. 

 

"It's not like that, Nov. I have plans to tell Emerald about you. I was ready to tell her. But I got second thoughts when I saw  the ultrasound. I had to think more, but then Zeus came. I have been notified that he was trespassing, and I know what he wants."

"If you handed Emerald back to him, none of this would happen, and I'd be willing to be a mother to your son, but no, you chose her over me and refused to give her back to Zeus, her rightful mate. It seemed like you never really wanted her to go. I get it, and please leave," I told him. 

A sob erupted from my throat, causing Knox to look at me with guilt. 

"Is your love for her so strong that even you defy fate?" 

Knox didn't say a word. He remained silent, but I could see in his eyes the regret. Maybe it wasn't Knox's human side, but it was his wolf. His wolf was sad and couldn't undo what had already happened. 

The tears were pouring down my face making my vision blurry. My wolf and I are hurting from the realization that we never really wanted for what we are. The sobs continued as he stood up and cautiously walked toward me. This time I didn't stop him. 

"I'm sorry, Nov. What I have done was wrong. You don't deserve any of this. It's too late for me to claim you. None of this would happen if I waited for my mate to come. I was a jerk, I know."

His hand touched my cheek once he was within distance of me. We were so close when he stopped before me, like the night he first recognized me as his mate. Blood rushed to the surface of my skin, where he touched it, tingles of electricity flowing between us. 

It surged through us like a wildfire that made me cry. This is so good to be true. Something only mates can feel. His touch sent heat down the right side of my face as his hands trailed down to my neck. He let it rest there, not bothering the temporary mark that Zeus gave me to stop me from becoming feral. 

I tried to force myself to remain unresponsive to his touch, but my body worked against me. I raised my hands and laid them on his. 

 

I didn't stop the moan from my lips. My wolf stirred up for this moment but was still cautious of Killian. She's not trusting him, yet perhaps she accepted that there would be no us anymore. 

 

Knox leaned his head into mine and hovered just above my lips. There were only mere centimeters separating us. He paused, fanning his breath over my face. 

Suddenly my wolf screamed at me, begging me to get away from him. She must have sensed that kissing him or what was about to happen is pointless. It will only give us a brief moment of happiness, but he will never be ours. She was hurting, and I could feel it. My wolf already loses hope. She wanted nothing for Knox. 

I didn't have time to think before his lips crushed down on mine. At first, they were rough and hard, showing a sense of urgency and trying to get a reaction from me. When I didn't respond, his kisses became slow and soft. It was when the shock wore off that I finally grasped the situation. 

The same tingles of electricity that flowed down through our veins before were now on our lips. Any voice of reasoning from our wolf is not heard due to Knox’s distraction. And soon, she disappeared altogether. She intentionally shut herself down from me as a defense mechanism. 

No sooner had I given in to the kiss did I realize what I was doing was wrong. I gasped and roughly pushed Knox away from me.