Chapter 12

Terrence

I don't know which part of my reasoning I would blame the kiss for.

           Was it the lingering, painful love I have for Caroline? Or just plain old stupidity?

           Talk about me being a masochist.

         I don't know why I set myself up again with this kind of situation, knowing I wouldn't gain an ounce of affection from the woman I was kissing right now. Feeling her lips  had made a tumultuous battle between my mind, and heart; the memories of those stolen kisses, and hard to be forgotten tender moments (for me anyway), mixing with my anger, and pain... They clashed back and forth like a hurricane.

          It was a bittersweet pain, a one-sided thing, since I was never given a chance no matter how hard I try. I give, and I give... in fact, I gave every last thing that was left of me.

         And then I remembered what this woman did to me, and imagined the strength and willpower just to be the bigger, sensible man despite what I have become.

         With that thought, I pulled myself away from her, feeling all smug upon looking at her face at this moment. I still haven't lost my touch; she still had that daze, breathless look whenever I dish out my most intense kiss.

           Too bad I was about to burst her bubble.

       Showing my patented smirk, I wiped my lips with the back of my hand, as though I was disgusted. "Just like I remembered," I began. "Your lips taste sour, just like your personality. I don't know why my brother didn't hurl from that acrid taste."

           That brought her out from the haze. "What did you say?" she asked, looking appalled now.

          I chuckled, low and deep. "So now you are going deaf." Yeah, I was really pushing it. Might as well be a jerk. "Why? Couldn't handle the negativity coming out of my mouth? Are you still expecting me to smother you with special words just like before?"

         If my mind was playing tricks on me, I swore I caught the slight glimpse of hurt in her eyes through my harsh words. I could be wrong, but this is Caroline we're talking about. She was used to pampering, sweet nothings, and delicacy, and my words were anything but that.

          She was not used to brashness, and I used that to my advantage.

        She sighed shakily, and then closed her eyes. "I don't know why I even came here," she said, with a slight shake in her voice. Oh, god... I think the waterworks were coming next. Just great. "I don't even know what came over me... to begin with."

         And then, she opened her eyes, and I was gobsmacked with her expression. But why must I be floored with how she was looking at me? It's simple, really. It was that look she gave me before, that too familiar gaze when I was still somewhat important in her life - or I assumed, that is.

         "Then why, Caroline?" I asked. I was trying so hard not to fall into that look of hers. It was her greatest weapon, and she knew how to use it. "Why must you do this to me all the time? Have you had enough? All you ever done is hurt people and play with their emotions!"

         My crappy, small apartment felt smaller as I continued not to fall into her soft gaze. She needed to stop this, to stop all this bullshit and leave me be.

        "Terry," she said. "For what it's worth, I did have feelings for you. At one point, I did love you, but..."

          She did love me at one point? Well, that's a bit reassuring because she had a different way of showing it.

         "I love Dalton," she said with so much affection, it cut me deep. Maybe I need to hear it once again to make it even more real than before. To convince my heart that I'm done... with everything.

         She went on, "I just want everything to be perfect for the wedding, that's why I came here to fix things." With a deep breath, she braced herself with what she was about to say next. Then she said, "We may have not worked out, but at least make amends with your family, especially with your brother. He didn't do anything to hurt you. He was anything but good to you, through and through."

          I couldn't believe what she was asking of me.

         Fucking unbelievable.

   

        My heart was once again ripped to indescribable shreds; I was amazed I still had the energy to laugh without a touch of humor into it. I laughed and laughed and believe me, I laughed my heart out to the absurdity of it all. It was bad enough Caroline trampled me all over and now she's asking me to cross the bridge that I have between my brother... she was forcing me to cross that rickety way?

          Sorry, darling. I have no intentions of getting to where he's at. No, thank you. I pass.

          Sobering up, I said, "Caroline, I may hate my brother with extreme passion, but one thing's for sure..." I paused, looking straight into her eyes with my unforgiving green ones. "...you don't deserve him, at all."

       Now, I definitely got a reaction worth seeing.

       Anger, with a tinge of insecurity.

         "I deserve Dalton. Always have, always will," she said as confidently as possible with her chin up. Sadly, she was not good at covering her uncertainty. It was there, plain to hear and see. "He even told me he loves me."

        I nodded. "True, but..." I started backing away, heading for the door. This conversation needed to be over. There was nothing left to salvage, and as far as I am concerned, she needs to leave now. As my back touched the door, I turned around to open it and turned once again to face her. "... you have no idea how that certain person sacrificed her love for Dalton just so you could be happy."

           There it is once again, the look of insecurity on her face. I know I am spilling the partial truth to Charlie's selflessness, knowing it was not my place to say, but I couldn't help it. This insensitive Prima Donna needed a teasing dose of reality.

       I went on, "She gave up her happiness, so that you could be with Dalton. And what better way than to let go of that important person who meant the world to her?"

       Caroline was breathing heavily by now, probably in denial, judging by that half crazed look in her eye. Denial was her security blanket, it was her means of blocking herself from the cruelty of the world.

           "No, that's a lie," she said, shaking her head.

            I smirked. "Oh, but it's true." My tone was mocking, though I felt bad, but she needed to hear this. "And Dalton, he confessed his love to her, and too bad, she had to turn him down. Like I said, she had to let him go to make way for you. You were not Dalton's first love... Never was, never will."

         Tears were spilling from her eyes as I went on. My cruelty was getting to her. "Dalton loves me, I'm sure," she assured half-heartedly. "He told me himself, I'm the best thing that ever happened to him."

            I chuckled. "And you believed that?" I asked her with a quirk of my eyebrows.

          Shaking her head vigorously, she said, "I have to go, I don't want to hear anymore shit coming from your mouth." The moment she stepped outside, I called for her attention to give her the final blow to the truth.

       "Do you want to know who deserves Dalton the most?" I asked.

         She turned around to face me. "Who?" she asked, her voice quivering.

         This is it.

           With a bone chilling smile, my gaze hard as steel,  I said, "The person who deserves Dalton the most is your sister, Charlie."

           And I slammed the door in front of her face.

            Shit! Me and my big mouth.

           At least she caught on quickly that she needed to leave.