Letting You Go Was the Hardest Thing

Senior Year (November of 2006)Someone once told me that life, especially love, was all about taking chances. If you wanted to take the first leap of faith, it's a matter of putting your best foot forward and from there, everything would fall into place.Sounds simple, right? Easy squeezy lemon peasy.But... Nothing was that simple, especially when I'm about to do something life changing; one that could change the course of my life .Telling my best friend since I was nine years old that I'm in love with him.Uhuh. Yeah. Very simple alright.As I leaned my back against the driver's side of my car, I thought of ways on how I'd break this bottled up romantic feelings I have for my best friend, Dalton, without sounding like a moron. He was running late and it was already past fifteen minutes since the final bell rang so this buys me some time to think - each word formulating in my head had my heart pounding out of my chest, hands all clammy and sweaty and having this sudden urge to bolt

"Tooo theee window! To theee wall! To the sssssweat drop down my ballssss! To all you bitchessss crawl! To all skee skee motherfu--oops!" then giggled when I lost my footing."Oh god," Mike groaned, very frustrated as he righted me up again. We continued to walk through the deserted hallway, heading for my apartment.I continued rapping and added a little of my own version, something along the lines of doing body shots with Brad Pitt.He rolled his eyes. "Jeez, will you stop rapping that crap?" he muttered, still holding my waist, making sure he had a tight hold on it. My arm was slung over Mike's neck for dear life and at the drunken state that I am in, I was pass piss drunk and could barely even stand straight. If anything, from the look on Mike's face right now, his scowl was directed to my rapping, which sounded like a cat being drowned.After graduation, Mike and I decided to grab a quick bite at some Italian restaurant and then head for the club from downtown Los Angeles, in a h

The moment I closed the door of my old bedroom, I went straight to my bed and plopped down on it heavily with a grunt."I can't believe I just did that..." I muttered as I stared up the ceiling of my old bedroom. My anger had somehow dwindled a bit, but it was still there, just like an adrenaline waiting to crash.Despite that, I felt better, now that I had let it all out in the open. Well, not everything when it came to Dalton, but the repressed feelings that I had against my family for so many years came tumbling out of my mouth like a waterfall. To be honest, it felt good, and it made me feel better about myself."Nice room," Mike said and l looked up. He was pursuing my room with such scrutiny in his eyes, I didn't know if he was being honest or just mocking me."Thanks, I guess..." I said, not really sure.He shrugged and put our suitcases down near the closet. He walked towards my bed and plopped next to me and on instinct, I scooted closer to him, laid my head on his chest as h

There are different ways in showing discomfort.One would fidget with the hem of their shirt like it is the most interesting piece of wonder in the world. The other is when one would look around, avoiding eye contact with the person. Shifty eyes, if you must call it, or the wandering eye. The other is rocking the balls of their feet back and forth as though having trouble keeping still.These were common reactions of being nervous. However, mine is sort of... weird.Gross even. As I gaze upon Dalton's handsome face, I had this sudden urge to go happy poo poo. I know, I know! Very weird, but the nervousness I'm feeling made me want to bolt right out of there and head straight for the bathroom. Not an appropriate reaction, but this is me... dealing with such emotion. As we stood silent, rooted to the ground, it amazes me that after four long years, I am still standing upright even though on the inside I am ready to crumble in front of him. Dalton was my stre

DaltonSeeing Charlie again was like subjecting me to complete familiar heartbreak. I felt like I was transported back to being an eighteen-year-old, confronted with that excruciating pain of her rejection, knowing that she didn't feel the same way about me. I won't lie, it hurts like hell at how frosty she had regarded me. I was like an unwanted person that she wanted to expel out of her life like vomit. What was I expecting? That she would run into my arms and say she missed me like crazy? I would give anything in the world, even my arm and a leg just to hear her say that, but it was just wishful thinking. It would never happen again. A day after the confession, I was tempted to fight back and never give in to defeat. I'm a stubborn guy. I wanted to prove to Charlie that she would learn to love me and we could make it work if she would give me that sliver of a chance, that one single opportunity. But it was clear in her eyes that she only cared for me as a friend, so