Act

I stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes red and my lips still quivering as I tried to reapply lip gloss. I looked terrible. Lashes seemed to be holding up, yet the clear tear trails cut down my cheeks. That was unmistakable. I looked like shit.

I took out a compact and tried to fix what was wrong, doing my best to lessen the look of my emotions. Finally, I took my clutch, leaving the restroom making my way to the server who was seemingly waiting for me. There was one glass that seemed different, so I picked it up.

“Thank you. Keep them coming tonight, please.” I said to the server, who gave me a curt nod, leaving me as I began to take a sip-

“Iris?” I heard a voice call out, and I lifted my head to see a smaller woman approaching me. It was Alexandria, someone I had been told about. She had a large smile as she spoke. “I’ve been trying to catch you all night!” I offered her a small smile as I greeted her,

“Hello, Alexandria- congratulations on your engagement.” I smiled at her, “You look beautiful.” I said, trying to be polite. She wrinkled her nose at the compliment.

“Thank you,” she replied, taking hold of my arm, “I was starting to believe that you were some myth of the Ballard family. But here you are!” Alexandria’s voice was loud and joyful. “How are you, Iris?” She asked,

“I’m great. How about you? Nervous for the wedding?” I inquired, trying to make conversation. She seemed a bit hesitant in her response.

“No-no… I’m excited! Marcus has been letting me handle it all,” She tilted her head, “Well… letting me do as I want,” she said, her words lacking the expected joy. “Men, huh? His brother was probably the same.” She added.

“Not so much,” I shook my head, recalling my own experience. “He loved to go try catering… and cakes… helped pick out our venue and everything. He was a big help," I said with a smile. Alexandria looked down for a moment,

“Well I guess Marcus just wants me to be happy.” She said, and I nodded in understanding. “Are you enjoying yourself tonight?” She asked, and I paused, trying to hide my previous breakdown.

“I am.” I replied with a smile, trying to maintain my composure. Must have been believable. She clapped her hands in joy,

“Perfect!" she exclaimed, seemingly trying to impress me or her close ones. “I need to get your autograph,” she said, looking around for something for me to sign.

“No need,” I said it trying to downplay it. “We’ll be family soon-” I added, which seemed to shock her. “Keeping my signature might be a bit weird." I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“But you’re my idol.” She protested, to which I replied,

“I don’t even act anymore. Soon I’ll be the one asking for your signature.” She seemed taken aback by my words.

"Do you miss it?" she asked, and I hesitated before admitting, Do I miss it? Did I miss having a life outside of my prison?

“Of course I do but… for my family, I would do anything.” I felt a pang of sadness but quickly tried to change the subject. “But don’t you worry about that-”

"Iris?" Alexandria's eyes widened, and she looked hurt. “Will Marcus also make me quit acting? I know- I know I’m not as big as you.” Alexandria’s hand grabbed hold of my arm, “That’s a criteria huh? To quit- I’m not as big as you were but-” I shook my head.

“No-no little one.” I reassured her, “I quit on my own. No one can ever force you to do so.” She seemed to sigh in relief,

“Thank god.” She blinked hard, seemingly a tear running down her cheek. Fuck. Did I just make the bride-to-be cry? I moved my hand up, trying to console her.

“You okay?” I asked, “Don’t cry-” She shook her head, smiling.

“No-no, thank you.” Alexandria smiled, “I’m okay.” She took in a deep breath, her chest filling. I nodded, not trying to press matters further.

“Let's head back in, your fiancé is awaiting you.” Alexandria cheerfully nodded, wrapping her arm with mine. We decided to head back in, and I led the way, trying to be supportive.

As we entered the room, all eyes turned to us. If nothing else, with her, I blended in and I felt a wave of discomfort. I tried to stay in the background, but with Alexandria on my arm, I made her look great. As I walked, I couldn't help but draw some attention. I guided her to her seat, where Marcus was smiling up at me.

“You’ve found my bride!” He exclaimed, looking at me. "Or did she find you?" He teased. Marcus turned his head to Alexandria. “I told you, sis doesn’t like talking to fans.” I rolled my eyes at him,

“Marcus, we were just having a girl chat.” I said as I passed Alexandria to Marcus, “Alrighty let me go find my hubby.” I politely nodded to everyone, and I slipped away to find my partner. Triston.

Triston’s clear blue eyes were large in alarm as I sat down next to him. He shifted in his seat, getting right next to my ear, he whispered.

“Where the hell were you? I went to look for you-” I lifted the glass of vodka to my lips, “And what the hell are you drinking, Iris?”I took a sip of my drink and replied,

"It's water," trying to maintain my facade. Triston seemed puzzled by my response, but I didn't bother explaining further.

-----------------------------------

Some time had passed by, as I was ignoring the man at my side. He was going on about something- probably the fact that I’ve had four more what he believed to be waters and have finally begun to feel numb at his words. Music began playing in the ballroom again, and I felt like dancing. I was handed one more drink that I happily took.

“Are you having another one? Iris, what about your medicine?” I turned my head to face him.

“It’s in me.” I felt myself say, “Only an issue if I throw it back up, right?” Before he could protest further, I stood up, Triston in shock as he brought up his hands- as if he was trying to help me.

“Where are you going Iris?”

“I am going to go dance,” I spoke flatly. He tilted his head, confused. I tried to sum it up for him. “Are you going to join me or should I find someone else to dance with?” A look appeared on his face. I couldn’t tell you if it was anger, annoyance, or even just complete shock. He closed his mouth, before standing up. He took hold of my hand, before looking down at them.

“Why are you always so cold?” He said with concern. He seemed to not want to further the situation, pulling me along. We made our way to the ballroom, he slipped his hands to hold the small of my waist as we began moving back and forth. We swayed along the music, my own hands behind his neck. We were silent as we danced, both staring at each other. His cold eyes never changed. I knew they wouldn’t but right now with this much alcohol in me, it didn’t matter.

“I didn’t go looking for him you know that,” I could hear my own voice slightly fearful, but with the music around us I was sure I was fine. “He was back there and-”

“I know. Marcus invited him.” Triston cut me off, “It’s fine. Just don’t ever go near him. Ever again.” I knew the sound of hurt behind the words he said. I understood why. I cheated on him. I hurt him and now, after three years, he was still trying to cope.

“I promise you,” my voice was hushed, “Never again.”