Chapter 44

John

I entered the pack house already agitated, my nerves buzzing like a live wire. All I wanted was to get to my room, take a long shower hot enough to burn the day off my skin, then come back downstairs and stuff myself with food like a starving wolf I was, then bury myself in sugar and junk while watching random movies until my brain turned to mush – a perfect evening of not thinking.

As I walked toward the stairs, Nico came out of the kitchen and headed in the same direction. The moment I saw him, my steps halted like someone had yanked an invisible leash. He looked at me, really looked, his eyes scanning my face as he kept walking. There was no "hi" or "how are you" – but Nico had always been like that, more in his own head, quietly observing, brooding. I wanted to be angry at him but theoretically it wasn’t his fault I had kissed him. It had just been a stupid dare Prue had thrown out, and somehow she still managed to make me the bad guy after her little revenge.

He started up the stairs but glanced back over his shoulder at me. My feet started moving again, following him without my permission. It would be stupid to start avoiding him now, right? That would make it weird. And I wasn’t weird about it. Suddenly he sped up. Not running, but pushing his wolf's speed enough that he disappeared around the corner before I reached the landing.

“Hmm,” I grunted quietly, frowning as I climbed the stairs. Why the hell had he done that?

When I reached his floor, I glanced down the hallway without really thinking. And there he was, leaning casually against the wall beside his door like he had been there all along. Hands in his pockets, ankles crossed, posture relaxed in that infuriatingly calm way of his – watching me. I stopped mid-step. What did he want now?

My irritation flared again and I suddenly changed direction, stalking toward him with heavy steps.

“What are you doing?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. Instead of answering, he just looked at me and slowly played with the silver ring in his lip, rolling it between his teeth and upper lip. My jaw tightened as his silence irritated the hell out of me. And why was he playing with that stupid lip ring? Was that supposed to distract me? Or suggest something? Like pointing out his lips? Like those girls who licked their lips when they were trying to seduce someone before a kiss? My brain instantly hated the direction of that thought.

“Wanna come in?” he suddenly asked. The question caught me so off guard I just stared at him. Why would he invite me to his room? To come inside and do what? Kiss him again? Or more? My temper spiked immediately.

“I’m not a fu.cking gay to come into your room and fu.ck you,” I spat angrily. He didn’t react, didn’t flinch, didn’t even look offended. He just watched me with the same calm expression, like he knew something I didn’t, like he could see straight through the angry front I was putting up.

“You know nothing about me,” I snapped. “It was just a stupid dare.” My voice carried more menace now, but he still didn’t respond. His quiet observation only made my irritation grow worse. It almost felt like he knew something, like he somehow knew that I had replayed that stupid kiss in my room more times than I would ever admit to anyone. Hell, more times than I wanted to admit even to myself.

“I meant,” he said finally, glancing briefly down the hallway, “we can talk in my room.” Talk? Now he wanted to talk? And why was he looking around like he didn’t want anyone to see us standing here together? Was he embarrassed to be seen with me now? Or embarrassed because I had chosen him during the dare? Why I had chosen him was another topic I didn’t want to think about. It had just been that stupid comment Prue made. Choose someone with a pierced tongue. And somewhere inside my head something had snapped. Fine. If I have to do it, I might as well do it on full blast. And the only guy I knew in the whole pack with a pierced tongue was Nico. That's why I kissed him properly, with tongue and all, instead of just pressing my lips to his and saying it still counted.

I shook my head slightly, dragging myself back to the present. So he had meant talk and I had jumped straight to accusations. Great.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I grated out, stepping closer. What were we supposed to do? Sit in his room like a pair of gossiping chicks and discuss how the kiss made us feel? Yeah, hard pass. The closer I stood to him, the more my nerves crawled. His calmness was like sandpaper against my brain.

“Why did you speed-walk up the stairs?” I suddenly asked. This time his eyes twinkled slightly. But seconds passed and he was still not answering just looking at me or rather through me. The silence scraped across my nerves.

“I did not want you checking out my ass,” he said at last, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. That did it. My anger surged forward and I stepped right into his space, grabbing him by the neck, our noses were nearly touching.

“I’m not checking anyone’s ass, you prick,” I growled. “Don’t start imagining things that aren’t there. I don't swing that way, so get that idea out of your head.” He didn’t even try to pry my hand away. Instead he just looked at me, calm as ever, still playing with that damn lip ring. Being this close, I noticed his scent stronger: it was warm and clean with a faint sharp edge, like the lingering scent of smoke and hot coals after a fire has burned down. Not overwhelming, more like...inviting. I held his stare, refusing to back down. Then I made the mistake of glancing at his lips. That stupid lip ring caught the light again as he rolled it slowly between his teeth. Something in my brain short-circuited.

Don’t ask me what happened, I don’t have a clue. All I know is that suddenly I smashed my lips against his. Our mouths opened immediately and my tongue found his, the cool metal of the piercing sliding between them as I kissed him hard, rough, even angry. There really was something insanely distracting about kissing someone with a pierced tongue. He didn’t push me away. If anything, he responded instantly, matching my intensity as our mouths moved together. The kiss turned heated fast, rough and messy, fueled by pure irritation because I was still so damn angry.

A faint voice suddenly sounded behind me. “Huh?” The sound snapped me out of it like cold water. I jerked away from Nico and glanced over my shoulder. Prue stood halfway up the stairs, staring at us with her mouth hanging open: pure shock on her face. Of all the pack members who could have walked in on that moment, it had to be her. I remembered everything she did and said to me and my temper exploded. I stalked toward her in two steps and grabbed her by the neck, squeezing as she instinctively grabbed my wrist, trying to pry my hand away.

“You saw nothing,” I spat. For a split second I considered tightening my grip. But choking the Alpha’s mate in the middle of the stairwell probably wasn’t a brilliant life decision. So I shoved her away instead. Then I stormed up the stairs to my room and slammed the door behind me hard enough to rattle the frame. “Fu.ck!” The word echoed through the empty room. What the hell had that been?

My whole body buzzed with a chaotic storm of emotions: anger, embarrassment, a flicker of worry, and a strange, undeniable excitement that left me reeling from that impossible kiss with Nico. My mind was spinning and my wolf was calm, not objecting or feeling disgusted. I could feel I was craving more even as every rational thought screamed at me to calm down, forget it and never ever repeat it. I brushed my hand trought the hair as I knew sleep wouldn’t come tonight, not when that memory was burning through me like a live coal under my skin, leaving me flushed, raw, and entirely undone. Fu.ck!