I Wasn't Alone

***5 Years Ago***

"I need you to lie back for me."

Dr. Andromeda's soothing voice washed over me. same as always. I lay back on the infirmary bed, my legs stretched out straight in front of me, eyes trained on the painted ceiling.

Once upon a time, early in Snow Pointe pack's history, this was a dining hall. A grand one. I remember the tales Dr. Andromeda told me to fill the time during my treatments.

Those painted ceilings saw grand festivals, feasts, and banquets, all held in this space where the Alpha and his Luna reigned. They entertained countless dignitaries, including Lycan royalty. When I closed my eyes, I imagined what it would have been like to dance beneath that stunning ceiling on the arm of a Lycan prince.

Snow Pointe hadn’t seen that kind of good fortune in years. And that fantasy would never come to pass. Not for a weak thing like me, in a pack like Snow Pointe.

"Take a deep breath for me, Aurelia," the pack doctor instructed, her fingers pressed against the vein in my arm as she pricked me with a needle. A bead of dark, purple blood dripped from my arm, and she quickly wiped it away.

I didn't flinch.

Years of needles in arms, blood draws, IV fluid bags, have left my arms dark with bruises and old scars. Ever since I was a child, I'd dealt with the pain of these special treatments from Dr. Andromeda.

They were the only thing that kept me alive.

"Good, keep calm,” she cooed gently, brushing a weft of black curls from my face with the back of her hand. It was cool against my feverish skin, a momentary reprieve from the illness. “It'll only pinch for a moment.”

Poor Dr. Andromeda had no idea that her words of comfort were a total waste. And inaccurate, too. Those injections, the blood drawing, they hurt like twelve hells. The entire time. But I never told her. Didn't want her to worry more about me than she needed to.

Besides, I’d gotten used to them over the twelve years I lived in Snow Pointe. There were more painful things to endure in that place. Worse pains. Like being abandoned. Forgotten. Ignored. At least there, in the infirmary, someone saw me. Listened to me. Cared.  

Dr. Andromeda was the only one in the pack who ever fussed about my well-being. Probably because she is the only member of Snow Pointe who didn't look at me as some... lowly, orphaned omega.

A poor, pitiful creature to be kicked or ignored.

After a few minutes, the needle was out of my arm, and the good doctor handed me a treat of ambrosia pudding. Fruits and whipped cream, sweet and light enough to not disrupt my sensitive digestion. It was always a welcome sight after all the vials of purple blood she drained from me for tests.

"Thank you, Doc," I said, accepting the small bowl of dessert. The sweet flavor spread over my tongue and filled my senses, soothing away all the pain of being stuck.

"Don't mention it, Ari. Have you been drinking the tonics as I told you?"

"Of course!" I nodded, pulling out the three empty vials from yesterday's dosage. I handed them to her. "Eight in the morning, noon, and eight at night, just like you said."

"Good girl. You keep that up and one day, you'll be all better." Dr. Andromeda's kind smile always made me feel better back in those days. It was a rare sight for me.

I was twelve years old and all alone.

Born and abandoned in Snow Pointe. No indication or idea of who my parents were. Only a name tag on my ankle and a rattle in my chest. Every breath I took could have been my last, and it pained me to do the smallest exercise. By Snow Pointe rules, I was a detriment. Meant to be fed to the wild.

But Dr. Andromeda… she cared for me. She advocated for my wellbeing and managed to get me a place within the main pack house as a servant to the Alpha, Luna, and their daughter, Evangeline.

It wasn't perfect.

The Alpha and Luna never had a kind word to spare. Their demands grew more impossible by the day. Failure meant swift and harsh punishment, even for a child slave like me.

And Evangeline...

But it was better than death. Better than being dumped in the woods to be eaten, starve, or succumb to the elements. A life as a servant. A life full of needles and pain. But I still had a life. And I owed it all to the good doctor.

Before I could finish the ambrosia pudding, my eyelids were heavy with exhaustion. It was always like this. After giving so much blood, it was inevitable that I'd pass out in the infirmary for a few hours. But I didn't mind. The lingering sweetness on my tongue made everything better. And so did the promise of what awaited me when I awoke.

Hours drifted by, and a familiar voice called out through the haze of my sleep, rousing me.

"Ari! Ari!" Philippe, a Gamma, a year older than I was, waited by my bedside. He was gangly, with brown eyes and a messy mop of curly, brown hair. And the biggest, toothiest grin on his face when he saw me coming around.

Seeing that smile when I first opened my eyes, that was the best feeling in the world. Nothing was better. Nothing would ever be better to me. My Phillipe, who stole me sweet puffs and fought off the older kids to keep me safe.

"There you are! I've been waiting forever. You've been sleeping longer than usual... are... are you okay?" he asked, his brows furrowed and lips twisted in a concerned pout.

I reached my hand out and ruffled his curls, smiling weakly up at him.

"Of course! Just trying to sleep on the job. You know me," I said, my chuckle shifted into a dry cough. "Anything to get out of work?"

"You just keep resting a while, okay? I've got all your chores split up among the group! Everyone in the kitchens is pitching in to cover for you, okay?"

A pang of guilt lanced through my chest at his concern, his care.

He was the only other bright spot. The only other person besides the doctor who cared enough to see me. My only friend.

I sat up on the bed and hugged him tight around the neck, muttering soft thanks against the scratchy fabric of his tunic. His thin arms embraced me in return, holding stronger than his slight frame should have been capable of.

In that quiet corner of the infirmary, closed off from the world by heavy curtains and the sound of the sick and wounded, I felt strong for just that moment. Because of Phillipe. Because of Dr. Andromeda.

I wish I knew then.

How much pain and suffering I could have prevented. How much agony I could have avoided. If only I knew the truth.

***

PRESENT DAY

I swallowed down the bitter draught, swallowing the thick fluid hard. Seventeen years of this medicine, and it hadn't gotten any easier. Neither had my life, so I wasn't surprised.

"And you're sure I have to increase my dosage again?" I asked, looking over the rim of my glasses at Dr. Andromeda's back.

She'd gotten thinner with time. More angular. Less soft. Her gaze pierced through me with clinical observation and feigned interest as she scribbled on her clipboard.

"Yes, Aurelia. Seven doses. You know how important the tonic is for your health. And you're not getting any better despite my treatments." She said it like it was my fault I was sick.

Like I chose this life, this illness. As if I were sabotaging her great efforts and charity.

"I know, I'm sorry." I don't know why I apologized. It felt like the right thing to do. "I'll take the tonics. Seven a day, right?"

"Right. Your seventeenth birthday... It's on Friday, correct?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder at me. I knew she already knew the answer to that question. She's the one who found me. She's the one who threw me my first fourteen birthday parties. She's the one who conveniently forgot the last two.

"Yes. Friday, during the full moon." I answered, hugging my tattered sweater around my body.

"You'll be meeting your wolf for the first time. Make sure you take double. The shift will tax your body, and you could go into shock if you aren't prepared." Dr. Andromeda explained, her tone dismissive as she left through the curtain, leaving me behind.

I looked down at the box of bottles she left with me. The labels were full of letters and symbols that I'm sure spelled words. But I wouldn't be able to decode them if I tried. I'd need a doctor's dictionary and several mentors to get through all those 'x's and 'z's.

With a sigh, I picked up the box and hopped off the cot.

When I pushed through the curtain, I'd hoped to see Phillipe waiting for me. I knew better than to expect it. There was no one. Time had taken that from me, too.

Last year, when he met his wolf, he also found his mate. All of my hope. All of my prayers were for it to be me, and for us to stay together forever... and it was some Beta's daughter. Jessica, I think.

The faces of pack royalty blurred together in those days. A series of colors, shapes, and barked commands.

When they found each other, Phillipe was moved from the kitchens and pushed into military training under her father's command. He was going to become a proper Gamma warrior for Snow Pointe. He'd have housing assigned. A nice place for him and his mate. While I wasted in the kitchens, watching from afar.

To his credit, he tried to stay in touch. But our worlds... diverged. He became a dweller, a proper citizen of Snow Pointe, while I stayed a slave.

And I stood in the infirmary with my box of medicine. Alone.

"Aurelia! Kitchens! Now."

Delta Hester's shrill voice sliced through my solitude, her command final. A welcome distraction.

"Yes, ma'am."