Love In Mistake

"Where have you been Liro?" I hurriedly went to his side to assist him in taking off his shoes.

"Will you please leave me alone?" He said angrily. I stop for a while and wanted to follow what he said but my willingness to assist him as his partner encourages me to stay so, so that's what I did. 

"Are you deaf? I said leave me alone" he shouted and I trembled because his voice screams danger.

"Please let me help you with this stuff Liro. Why are you so mad at me? I didn't do anything wrong" I say begging him to treat me better.

"Leave, Cassandra. I don't want you here. I don't love you. Your sister is the one that I want to marry. Just only her so stop being delusional. Stop acting like a wife, I don’t even want you to become one" he said before leaving me hanging. I tried not to mind that hurtful words but I just can’t ignore it! It really hurts.

A tear fell from my eyes because of what he said. It's like a dagger that pierces directly into my heart. I touched my tummy and smiled bitterly.

"Baby, I hope your daddy will love you. I hope he will cares for you. I hope he will cherish you. It's okay that he will not love me as long as he'll love you as I do. Mommy doesn’t want you to get hurts" I wipe the tears from my face and prepare the food for Liro.

We are living on the same roof for 4 months already and I'm 5 months pregnant with our firstborn. When all of them found out about my pregnancy, I know that they’re going to abandon me. My parents love my sister the most than me.

I disappointed them and I know that. They almost cut my hair the day they caught me and Liro in my room naked. After a month, I got pregnant so I told Liro about the baby and as I expected, the pain was visible in his eyes after I told him the news. It was clear to me that he doesn't want me and our child. So when Lianne learned the truth about my pregnancy, she begged Liro to take the responsibility for me and my baby. Guilt consumes me because my sister is so pure and kind that she’s willing to give up Liro for our sake. I can't even look at her eyes. To be honest, I don’t know where she is right now.

I have no idea what's happening to her and Liro that day, because one-day Liro approached me and told me that he will take responsibility of me and the baby. That he will marry me.

All I want is a complete family for my child so I agreed to marry him and live under the same roof with the father of my child but Liro shows me every day the disgust of having me in his life. That I am the pest of his life, that I am a big mistake.

I tried to ignore it but the pain is not bearable anymore. We sleep in the same bed but he can't even touch me or look at me directly. We are like strangers living on the same roof. 

There are times that I wanted to go home and reconcile with my parents but I always think about my baby. I want to give her a complete family. And leaving Hiro is not an option to give her a complete family.

After I prepare the food for Liro, I go upstairs to our study room to read a book for my baby. Ever since I was a child, I'm always thinking the day that I'll get pregnant. I want to sing a lullaby for my baby and to read her a storybook. I want her to feel those things even though she's still inside in my tummy.

This study room is not included when Liro designed the house. He's an architect by the way so he designed this house personally. I approached him and told him that I want a study room, at first he got mad at me for being choosy. I cried because of that but I chose to be quiet than to let him know my disappointments. He’ll get angrier at me and I don’t want that.

 So I really thought that there's no study room in this house and so when I learned that there is, I am so happy that I almost cried. I am so very sensitive that even small things affect me.

There are tons of books on the shelf and I pick Cinderella for this night. It would be better if Liro is beside me and join me to do this stuff for the baby. But I guess, it's too much to ask. Maybe by now, he's still trying to pursue my sister to let them back together so it's better to be here alone with my baby.

After I finished reading, I decided to go down to drink my milk that is good for the baby’s health. Tomorrow is my check-up with my Obi-gyne which is a friend so I need to sleep early. 

In the kitchen, I see the food that I cook for Liro untouched so basically he didn't eat the food that I prepare which makes me sad. To avoid the negative thoughts that will harm the baby's health, I hurriedly make the milk and drink it. I don't want to get stressed if possible because I don't want to put the safety of my baby in danger.

If you're pregnant, avoid stress and stay away from those people or things that will stress you out. Though in my case, it’s Liro who gives me stress.

There's no sign of Liro in the master's bedroom so maybe he's in the minibar of this house. He’s probably drinking. I want to stop him with that but he's not listening to me. He will just yell at me and tell me to back off. I’ve learned so I will not do it anymore. Before anything else, I just did my night routine before I go to bed. 

When I wake up it is midnight already. Liro is still not in the room so he's still drinking in the minibar I guess. I'm thirsty so I need to go downstairs to get a glass of water.

After I drink, I went to the minibar to check Liro and there, I see him, he's sleeping on the island counter and he’s so drunk. The cans of beer are scattered on the floor. He's wasted so I need to help him.

"Liro, wake up" I touch his shoulder and shake it lightly to wake him up but he just moaned sign that he was poisoned by the alcohol and can't even lift himself to go to our room so I don't have a choice but to assist him to the master's bedroom. 

He's indeed heavy but I manage to transfer him to our room. So as the mother of his child, I clean him up and change his clothes. Don’t want to wake him while I’m cleaning him, he’ll just push me away.

"Lianne" I stop for a moment when I hear him calling the name of my sister, Lianne.

"You really love my sister" I utter and smiled weakly. Lianne is so damn lucky because Liro loves her very much. I envied her.

After I change his clothes, I lie beside him, turn my back to him and close my eyes as tears keep on falling from my eyes. He's the only person that gives me stress that I can't even avoid. 

The next morning, I wake up early than usual to prepare food for Liro and prepare the suits that he will wear this day. I need to secure his needs first before I go to my check-up.

After I did those preparations, I take a bath and eat before I go. When I was about to leave, I saw Liro in half-naked form. He has this messy hair, a cotton pants and a serious face while going downstairs. He's so gorgeous so I bet our child is beautiful because her daddy is handsome and of course her mommy as well is pretty. I giggle at my thoughts.

"Good morning Liro. Breakfast is ready. I also prepare your suits in our room" I said with a smile plaster on my face.

He just ignore me like usual. It hurts but I chose not to mind that. He's not even aware that today is my check-up to my Oby-gyne.

"If you need something Liro, just call me" I said then I heard a horn of a car in front of our house.

It's probably Kevin, my best friend. In the first month of my check-up to my Oby-gyne, Kevin was always with me. He drives me to the hospital back to our home and buys me the foods that I crave. Because I know that Liro will not do anything for my cravings so I need to ask someone else for that. Liro didn't even know about Kevin because he leaves early in the past months.

"Who's that?" Liro ask.

"It’s Kevin, my friend. He will drive me to the hospital" I explain.

"For what?" He continued.

"Check-up for the baby"

"Why him?" He asked again.

"I don't want to commute for the safety of our child. So I don't have a choice but to ask him a favor" I always overthink.

"Whatever! Leave now" he said and continues to eat. I smiled bitterly and bite my lower lip for me not to cry. He’s being rude again. I’m hoping he will say ‘take care’ or ‘be safe’ for the baby yet I received the heart-breaking goodbyes from the father of my child.

"Goodbye Liro"

Kevin opens me a door to his car but when he looks at my face, worry is visible to his eyes.

"Hey what's wrong? Did he hurt you?"

"No Kevs. He did nothing wrong. Can we go now?" I smiled at him for him not to worry anymore but he's still not convinced that I am okay. 

"Cass, you know that I'm always here right? Just tell me if he hurts you and I’ll take you away from that bastard" he said before he turn on the engine and drive away from our house.

In the hospital

"The baby is healthy mommy Cassy. You don't need to worry about anything. Just always remember what I told you about the things that you must to avoid, right?"

"Yes, Doc. I memorized it all" I said and we laugh together. My Oby-gyne is my friend. One of my truest friend who did not judge me.

"Anyway, why are you and Kevin always together? Are you into something? Did you break up with the father of the baby?" she asked.

"No Tel. As you can see, Liro hated me so much so I need to ask Kevin to help me with this kind of stuff. You know, everyone hates me now. It's just you and Kevin that I can rely on since I don't have someone aside from the both of you to help me in my pregnancy. Even my parents hated me and accusing me that I stole Liro from Lianne"

"You know what Cassy, I block all those sh*ts who judged you. I knew you ever since so they don't have the rights to criticize you because you're a good person. Why are you the only one to take the blame? And this Liro, he's a d*ck. You are his responsibility now but where are his balls at? Lost?" said by my friend Kristel.

"Thank you for the support Tel. I am not happy in the house anymore. It feels haunted to me. I tried to be perfect and kind so that Liro will respect me but you know, just the glimpse of my face he'll get angry for no reason. I wanted to leave Tel but I don't want to raise my baby without a complete family"

"Cass. You don't need him to give the little Cassy a complete family. It's better to raise your baby in happy surroundings than to raise her in a hell one"

"I know Tel but I'll give it a try. I know Liro will learn to love us" I said.

"What about Kevin?"

"What's with him Tel? He's my best friend" I said.

"Are you for real Cassandra?” she ask me and I didn’t answer.

“Anyway, can you wait for me a little? Let's have a bonding session in my condo. Want to come with me?"

"Yes sure. Wait I'll tell Kevin to pick me up later. He's waiting for me outside"

'Poor Kevin' I heard Kristel utter but I choose not to mind it and leave her office.