63 - Losing Control

GIDEON

"Hey sweetie. Dada misses you so much," Mordecai's voice faintly filled the air. He was trying his best to stay quiet while he thought I was sleeping.

Harley had been calling in daily so he could see Kailani. Several times he had tried attempting to get me to join but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt so much guilt surrounding her existence that I couldn't even look at her.

How horrible of a parent was I destined to be? Wallowing in self pity and unable to conquer my trauma. She was almost a month old and I hadn't even held her.

I was no better than my father.

'Stop it,' Otto scolded.

'You need to go see that therapist again when things start settling down,' Philo spoke a bit softer.

Hot tears stung my eyes as I listened to Mordecai happily speak to Kailani while Harley relayed their day. By the time the call ended and he came back to the room they had dried up.

"How long have you been awake?" He questioned. Carefully he sat next to the bed and stroked my messy hair. His