CHAPTER 4: It’s Not Yours

THERE are things in life that mostly equate to a huge fragment of us.

Perhaps, like tree barks engraved with two children’s short-lived love promise. Or a pirate-hidden treasure chest in a remote island. Or a puzzle piece that’s not supposedly there, but still it’s there and though you don’t need it, you let it sit there as a keepsake, because it’s important—because it holds a part of you that could never be held by others.

That is what that dress means to me.

That dress she’s wearing.

that’s mine.

The mark on the tree, the treasure chest, and the puzzle-piece the former Luna left before she had taken her last breath.

And I am the only one that should be wearing it.

“W-what?” Raine’s lips evidently quivered as she stares right into my eyes. I was livid, and perhaps it showed right through her weak frame.

I don’t care though.

She could cry if she wants,

Oh, heck she could,

Right after she takes that dress off, because it was mine. I can endure every consequences my actions today would result, yet I cannot let another minute pass as I see her comfortably wearing what was given to me.

I was known to be impulsive, yet wise. I make impulsive decisions, but it always ends with a smart result. And maybe this one isn’t going to end in betterment like it usually does.

“I said that dress is fucking mine!” my voice, thankfully did not quiver, it did not fall.

But Raine Avalon did.

I felt my palms landing with brutal force on her shoulders, and before I knew it, she was on the ground, looking up at me with a scared face.

Warm and heavy breath was coming out of my mouth from the frustration and anger, yet it did not compare to the gasps I heard right after I did it. Right after I pushed her.

My head found their way up, gazing around at the shocked face everyone was showing. Their palms covered their mouths, some held their child close, away from the Luna they grew up adoring.

Or am I still the Luna?

According to the kids, I am not.

I bite my quivering lips, fear and desperation clinging at me, at my neck.

I hope he will come to check up on me. Calvin has always done that. Ask me if I was okay. Ask me what happened. Ask me if there’s anything he can do to appease me.

Any of those words right now would be more than enough.

Yet alas, contrary to my hopeful thoughts,

“Raine!” The Alpha’s worried tone surrounded the dining room with a heavy growl as his footsteps loudly tuned the entire room as fast as a heartbeat.

He called her name.

Raine and not Maryna.

Never Maryna.

I can feel the lump forming right inside my throat, throbbing. My chest heaving as though the air in my lungs was trying to come out. I was staring at them with eyes that are probably bloodshot from all the tears I forced back not to shed.

He crouched down to her, his eyes filled with dread and the most comforting gaze I have ever seen him made. He was shushing her. Giving her the assurance that he’s there.

I was still there, standing like a fool.

My feet feel heavy, as though it was nailed to the wooden floor. I was succumbing to the envy, to the jealousy, and to the embarrassment, that after having to see the love of my life run to a woman other than me, I still cannot force my heart to be away from him.

To tear my eyes off the scene and go like a hurt, normal being.

I close my eyes and was about to turn around,

“Maryna.” He called my name. I instantly turned around, an unconscious, automated smile plastering on my face. But the eyes I met were far from gladly receiving my attention.

Calvin looked at me with pure hatred as his hands were still across Raine’s body.

“You—” he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as though he did not know what to do with me anymore. He looks done.

“Stay away from me from now on.” his voice wasn’t Calvin. It was the Alpha. A tone I have never seen him use on me until now.

“W-what?” with a trembling and confused voice, I asked him though I knew what he meant.

I was to stay away from him?

“Do I need to repeat myself?” he flashed a glare at me, holding the still-sobbing Raine in his arms. She was uncontrollably crying which was now starting to bother me.

I did not push her that hard!

“No‐I . . . I cannot just stay away from you!” his brows furrowed at my response, making me think my choice of words were quite dubious and weak. I am the Luna, yet it is no secret that the Luna must always submit to the Alpha.

“Besides, she—” I pointed to Raine who was now raising her gaze at me, as though she was confused as to what her fault was.

“—she stole my dress! It was my dress!” I emphasized. My index finger finding its way on my heaving chest, pointing at myself. I am desperate.

I am desperate for him to say it’s mine. I am desperate for his validation.

“it’s not yours.” my hand dropped down to my side.

“What?” with no emotions and all the mixed feelings jumbling up in my chest, I forced my words out. “What do you mean it’s not mine? It was mine the moment the former Luna said—”

“My mother said everything will belong to my mate.” Every courage I held tight was dripping off my grasp.

Yes.

Yes she did say that.

Thinking I would be his mate.

There was no stopping my tears now. It fell as I was staring right at him. For a moment his eyes softened. His gaze — like the old times, looked at me with pure concern. Raine seemed to have noticed that small gaze we’ve exchanged, and immediately, her hands found their way on her neck pulling him as she sobbed once more.

His attention drew back to her weak state, that tiny amount of sympathy he held for me, vanishing from his eyes.

I wiped my tears as everyone looked at us. The three of us.

I released a small sigh, warm of tears and crushed hope before turning around, back to our seats.

I may have lost my hope in him, yet not in the position of being the Luna. I hold power here, thus my pride shall never falter. I pulled the chair back to sit when his voice once more stopped me.

“You are not to sit there.” Calvin said, his eyes not finding their ways to look at me as he uttered those words. I was tired, and I can no longer argue. So I pushed the chair back to where it was supposed to be, my uneaten meal still on my spot.

“Then where shall I sit . . . Alpha?” I gulped down the urge to call him Calvin, just like how I used to. He wasn’t Calvin anymore, the kid I grew up with. He made it clear today that the remaining ties between me and him was to remain professional, like how the Luna should respect her Alpha.

“That is no longer my problem. Sit where there are any available ones.” he mumbled before picking up Raine, pulling the seat I just pushed back and gently settling her there.

I turned my head away from the scene and my Omega rushed towards me with a panicked look. I felt everyone’s chilly gazes on me which I instantly flashed a glare back at them. They scurried off and I turned to my loyal maid.

At least one out of the entire pack doesn’t hate me.

“Luna, I-I don’t know if you’ll ever like such a spot, but there were no more available ones. Please join me.” she said, voice stuttering of fear.

I bit the insides of my cheeks, leaving a scar of blood on my taste buds before following the omega with a bottled up annoyance and sadness.

Her seat was by far the worst place I will be sitting in. It was under the stairs and the furthest to the elevated floors where the Luna and the Alpha sits onto.

I sat there after giving the orders of my food to the trembling Omega, fidgeting with my fingers on top of the table as I waited for her to come back.

My eyes found their way looking up at them once again.

Why do they seem so happy?

Everyone was all staring at the two with awe. Calvin was pointing a spoon at Raine’s mouth left agape. Her cheeks were warm and the atmosphere around them was romantic.

Both of them look so perfect.

Something I could only wish upon the stars to have that same tension between me and Calvin.

“Luna, here’s your food—”

“Eat it. I am tired . . . I will be resting.” I emphasized my words with a fake yawn. Covering my mouth with my palm as I exhale a deep breath. She gazed at me, unconvinced yet still understands — of course.

Her eyes spoke of so many encouraging words that I unfortunately do not need. She was sympathetic, I take it as unnecessary pity. I was helpless. Or I do not dare receive help.

I gaze once more at them, totally unbothered of how they kicked me out so suddenly.

I walked out the door and did not dare glance once more at the two, trying to keep my sophistication, self respect, and pride untouched. Yet there was no denying that there I was, forgotten. No one dared to look back to see if I left.

Or perhaps the Luna ate her meal despite not sitting at her supposed setup where the Alpha King is.

No one.

Who would? I pushed an innocent girl, the Alpha was on her side and I was the villain.

I am alright to remain that way as long as I remain in my seat. She will never be the Luna of the Penston Pack.

Over my dead body.

“Wait, Maryna!” I stopped halfway, the huge doors to the dining area still held open by the pack warrior standing next to it. I run the tip of my tongue over my mouth before rolling my eyes.

I swear to God, if she doesn’t stop . . .

“Who are you?” I turned around to Raine as she raised her gaze at me, holding a plate with something that looked like a left over food. Something like the Omegas would eat.

“I-huh?” Raine was about to offer the plate to me when she was then caught off guard by what I said. There was definitely no denying that I was looking pissed as ever.

This was never new.

Ever since she walked in here, I pushed her, and became the villain for tomorrow’s rumor. She should have been aware of how my blood is curling beneath this veins that wants nothing more than to rip her head off with my talons.

“I said who are you?” I asked once more, filling her stupefied face even more. “I-I am Raine Avalon.” she muttered, lips trembling.

The others were already looking at yet another scene.

What could the Luna do again?

A shameless woman yet is in the Luna position?

Raine is the Alpha’s mate yet I dare hurt her?

I don’t care. I used to.

“And who am I?” I asked, taking the plate softly from her grasp. The Alpha who was talking with the werewolf council found his eyes at the both of us. Shocked to see that he has let his mate off his sight.

I’m quite shocked as well, I thought they were inseparable.

“Luna . . . You are Luna Maryna—Maryna Gauntlet of The Penston Pack.” she uttered, her fingers were trembling, eyes lowered as though it would burn if she raised her gaze at me.

“That's right, the Luna . . . good job.” I slowly mumble, playing with the sticky sauce of the food she gave. There were a lot—and I mean, a lot of food choices which she could think were the most suitable for a Luna like me, all scattered on the table she and Calvin sat on earlier.

And yet she decided to give such poor food to me. An Alpha’s daughter that doesn’t know that food is also luxury?

“I am a Luna, and yet you give me such food?” my voice flowed softly on my mouth. It wasn’t threatening, nor scary. It was soft. But contrary to my voice, my hand found its way doing something which differs with my tone.

I found myself pouring everything on the plate on her pinkish, little hair.