Loving The Alpha King Instead

Blood began to coagulate around the edges of my wound, and I tried to accustom myself to the loose bandages.

I got used to being hurt and the pain. Killing is a part of my life. Slitting throats doesn’t always feel comfortable. But seeing how it brings satisfaction to my lover and to my people, I’m willing to dirty my hands a million more times for it.

That's what I am, mostly what I was raised to do.

I kill to expand his territory, and I attack packs after packs to do that

“Any last words?” I murmur with no hint of remorse onto the dying man pinned down by the force of my own feet onto the marble floor of their own pack house.

It was the Alpha of the small pack we are currently in the midst of attacking. I am even surprised our Alpha, my very own man isn’t here ending this himself.

“Please spare my family.” was all he said, staring at my own eyes. We were both filled with void. He, who has nothing more to give than his own life, and me who’s here trying to give everything for the man I love.

With my other foot, I snapped his own neck as he lay bare naked on the cold floor. He shifted to fight with his wolf yet it was still not enough.

A deep sigh came blowing out of my own mouth whilst looking above the ceiling. Another life ended by my own hands yet no guilt or conscience came through my own body nor any wave of worry filled my empty heart.

I was dull.

And the only source of happiness I had was,

“Maryna!” I look back below the terrain of stairs and there Calvin goes, walking over to me. I quickly wiped away the poker expression together with the blood of the enemies splattered on my face, before featuring a dazzling smile as he marched towards me.

“Hey! Where were you? I was just finishing everything up.” I exclaimed, but he did not answer that with words but rather pulled me in for a long-awaited hug.

“We have once more built a larger expansion towards our pack. Thank you.”

I smile on his shoulders. A satisfied smile as my efforts weren’t thrown in vain at all. His acknowledgments of it were more than enough.

He pushed my shoulders away before pulling me back as he landed a soft kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes, taking in his usual gesture of reminding me how I matter to him.

Or perhaps that’s just how I choose to look at it.

“I was at the back, trying to catch his family. I-I was—” I furrowed my brow at his sudden stuttering. He scratches the back of his nape before portraying an awkward smile back at me.

“I-I found my mate.” He mumbles at me, avoiding my gaze in the process.

Four words.

It was four words.

Yet so enough to crush down a heart within a matter of seconds.

He found his mate.

Calvin found his mate.

What am I going to do now?

Where should I even turn to?

All I could display right in front of his impatient gaze was an expression filled with emptiness. An expression which I never knew I would even show him.

“B-but of course, the Luna position would always be yours!” He instantly waved his hands in front of me to try and calm my burning chest down, but even his voice, which I have always believed to have the power to relieve every pain I was feeling, never heals any of it now.

The lump was heavy.

The clumped lump was made out of not just jealousy but shattered hopes and dreams, and love. It was big.

It was trying to be comparably bigger than my own world.

Because the dreams I had with him were bigger than my own and now that it’s already stained and is starting to break to collide with my own, I don’t know what I would have left out of it all.

“Yeah . . .” I unconsciously mumble.

“Yeah, of course. Congratulations!” I added. His eyes went wide, not shocked-wide, not ‘you shouldn’t be accepting this’ wide, but relieved wide.

He was relieved I was accepting someone to be by his side other than me.

“Lets go, I’m going to wrap all this up and the pack members would all be temporarily moved to the pack until we have settled a habitable territory here. We might also need—” he had already started talking nonchalantly as if nothing big happened.

Yet my mind was still circling back to his words, avoiding his gaze until it caught one’s pair of dazzling icy blue eyes.

It was staring at me with confusion gleaming on its orbs until it switched back to Calvin and it suddenly displayed a hefty amount of emotions, mostly a pitiful gaze.

I was way too focused on her pretty eyes that I forgot to go over her peaceful features. Her hair was almost in the shade of a bright pink, the shade you seeing cotton candies. Her bangs fall lightly on her forehead.

And she’s being carried by the Penston pack’s Gamma. I look back at Calvin’s features as he stares right back at her. His long blond hair was tied back in a bun, and even on the side, I can see his hooded eyes focused on her.

And her alone.

I knew it.

she’s his,

“Mate.” he growls and our Gamma instantly places her down on the ground afraid of being on the other end of an Alpha’s wrath.

The Gamma looks at me and flashes a salute, and I nod at him, dismissing him. The girl stands up from being on the ground and runs to Calvin, hugging him.

“Calvin!” tears ran down her cheeks and he cooes her like a child. “Hush, Raine. I’m here.” he mumbles and my eyes once again caught Raine’s icy blue ones and there I go, feeling all sorts of emotions.

Most of it was insecurity.

She's everything the word ‘innocent’ describes. Her pink hair was wavy, eyes as electric as its blue, skin white as milk, and she’s petite. Small and petite. And so easy to protect and hold.

On the other hand, I am not very special in comparison to her. My hair was black, eyes black, and my skin was plain ivory. Some say I was built like a supermodel, tall and sexy. I loved the thought of that, but now that I see Calvin desires these types of girls, all I can wish for was to have been born smaller.

I was rough.

I killed numerous people to gain Calvin’s trust and attention, while she smiled and he was on his feet.

What can I say, the Goddess is indeed true to her words.

Mates could never, and shall never be separated.

“Let's get you home.” Calvin mutters at her and she wraps her arms around his neck as they both exits the fallen pack house. Leaving me in there.

Almost,

If I didn’t make my presence known.

“Wait for me!” I beamed a chuckle and Calvin took a quick look and as if he realized I was still there, he nodded at me to follow.

It was always like that.

I would always have to make my presence and my efforts known so as to be recognized. Cause if I didn’t,

I would be forgotten.

Instantly.

“Maryna?”

“Yeah?” I turned around to see Calvin with a worried look on his face, the other pack warriors were preparing the carriages back home.

I dismiss one of them who’s asking me what to do with the pack members left in the fallen pack we just attacked.

“Can you—” I furrow my brow yet sucked in a breath a second after realizing that if he’s stuttering and hesitating like this, then I’m sure it’s about his mate, Raine.

“Could you please just ride another carriage back?”

“what? Why? We always go home together.” I emphasized the word ‘together’ to at least knock some sense into him that before everything, we were great best friends and we always stuck with each other.

“it’s just that — Raine doesn’t want to see other people than me.” he explained but I was already livid. That girl is not even in the Penston pack yet she’s taking way too much space already.

I’m not even sure what to think about the fact that his mate practically ruined her entire pack, killed her family, yet she’s still coming with him.

If that’s what mates are — to overlook all the flaws the other has, to simply fall in the sharp traps of romance,

Then I don’t want it.

-

We arrived at the pack way faster with me stuck in my own thoughts alone in another carriage.

Everyone once again greeted us for another expansion of the Penston pack happening after we have driven down one more.

Normally, I would respond to every pack member’s joyous greetings of our arrival, and I would do this with Calvin by my side, but I don’t really think that’s happening anytime soon since he and I would be stepping down from different carriages and he’ll be holding a woman other than the Luna.

I instantly caught everyone’s smiling faces and my heart aches for how they are going to react.

I suck in a huge amount of breath before stepping down the carriage getting opened by a pack warrior.

Everyone instantly cheered for me and the Victory we once more achieved. The other carriage from right in front of us revealed the Alpha King as well holding his mate Raine in his arms.

The girl was unconscious and just like how I expected it would be. They were dumbfounded to have seen a new girl being brought after a war.

But there was something wrong.

Their gazes weren’t shocked nor even annoyed one bit.

Everyone was curious.

A lump formed in my throat as all the cheers from my own went to the Alpha and his mate.

“Alpha! who’s that?” A young boy from the crowd being carried on the shoulders by his Papa asked, pointing at the sleeping beauty in Calvin’s arms.

he’s not going to, right? He knows my reputation would—

“This is my mate, Raine Avalon.”

My mouth fell open as I gaze at the crowd staring at him bewildered.

it’s okay, the Penston Pack is on my side.

“Does that mean she’ll be the new Luna?” one of the pack members stated and my eyes grew wide. I suck in a breath, trying to stop the anxiety from showing through my expressions.

The pack warriors turned to me with a worried look. They have seen everything I have done for years and their loyalty can’t be swayed by mere love.

I hope it stays that way.

I plaster a reassuring smile back at their gazes which are still not convinced that I am genuinely fine, before looking back at Calvin, anticipating his long-awaited response.

“I-I—” he turned to me.

With a gaze full of hesitancy.

He is hesitating.

B-But he told me I was going to stay in position, right? He told me I’m still going to be the Luna inspite her mate in the picture!

No, no, no . . .

“Urgh . . .” Everyone, including me, turned to the woman in their Alpha’s arms.

Raine groans, a sign of her finally getting back her consciousness. “Calvin?” the first thing she murmured was him. Everyone stared in awe as the young, innocent lady reached out her hand to hold his hero and the love of her life’s cheeks.

She murmurs something to Calvin and she gently places her down the ground. She slowly turned to the bright crowd as they all awaited to see her face.

No, no, no . . .

They can’t be.

How can she take all the attention to herself?

We're out on a war.

A war.

And I—not Calvin nor anyone killed and offered the Alpha’s head to the Penston Pack.

I brought the victory back here, why is she getting all the attention!

My stomach churned at the sight of everyone falling in love with her angelic features as they whisper upon themselves as to how Raine looks exactly like some heavenly goddess.

Her gaze darted to me and I was startled as I met those pair of icy orbs which are now looking at me with pity lacing her beautiful eyes.

W-what? Why is she looking at me like that?

She then turns to the crowd.

“I-I heard everyone talking about me being a L-luna. No, I don’t—I can’t be your Luna, Calvin.” she turns to the Alpha as her eyes swell with unreleased tears.

Why is she . . .

Why is she trying to make this look like I’m the villain who’s taking her lover away?

“I-I don’t want to be an inconvenience to the Luna.” she said before wiping the droplets of tears falling onto her face.

Everyone turned to me with a hostile gaze.

Wha-What is happening?