Chapter 1

“Happy birthday!”

Jeremy turns to the beaming girl.

All smiles, Gail greets him once again, “Happy 18th birthday!!”

“Thanks,” he replies, dry and soulless.

“Let’s have a blast, okay?” She hands him a wine glass and raises hers in the air.

But Jeremy refuses to clink their glasses. “I should not drink. Will test drive later.”

No hurt feelings though, Gail still glows with a smile as she drinks her wine in silence. She already expected that the guy wouldn’t join the guests in the garden and would never drink even if he didn’t receive a new car from his dad. Jeremy hates parties. He actually had no plans to celebrate his 18th birthday but Gail stubbornly insisted on throwing him a grand party at her own place. He did show up against his heart because he’s Jeremy Sean after all. The well-mannered guy everyone admires.

“Isn’t it boring to test drive your new car alone?” Gail drops the magic words, hoping for the guy to ask her to join him on the road.

“I didn’t say I would do that alone. I’ll be with Chris and Ken.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you had two best friends.” She hides her disappointment in a nonchalant response. All these years being friends with Jeremy, she has already mastered how to act like the ‘unbothered queen’ despite the guy’s coldness towards her. She is never fine with that but she has to be.

“If you don’t have any more to say, you can go back there. You’re the host, you should be entertaining your guests.”

“Come on, Jeremy..” Gail faces him. “They are your guests. You’re the birthday celebrant, you should be the one--”

“Who insisted on having this useless party?”

“Useless??”

He stares at her but before he can hush her with another harsh truth, Gail links arms with her so suddenly and tightly he gets caught off guard, making it easy for her to take him to the garden. “I prepared something for you, I’m sure you will love it,” she whispers to him. 

No more chance to escape from her, Jeremy just sighs his annoyance while they make their way through the maze of the guests dancing, drinking and partying like crazy. As they stand in the center, Gail signals the DJ to stop the music, and as he does, everyone circles around them. All eyes on Jeremy. 

“Man, I smell trouble. Let’s go get Jeremy.” Ken leaves the pool side first, then Chris after, rushing to the garden only to pause when the huge screen displayed for the occasion flashes blinding lights and plays a video message.

A very familiar video message. 

“Happy birthday, my dearest son! I am recording this right now while taking some rest. Your brother and I have been preparing for a surprise party for you. I looked forward to this day and finally it has come. Happy birthday, my son! Though I always tell you how much I love you, I will still say it. I love you, Jeremy! Your mom will always do..”

Like the sharpest dagger piercing him to the deepest core, Jeremy struggles to move. He’s frozen in torment. As the screen goes blank again, dead silence fills the air. The guests are deeply moved but not Jeremy. Even his two best friends. His mom’s painful death has been his devastation up to now. 

He swallows the pain. Though he’s on the verge of tears, he won’t show he’s in agony. Not in front of the guests. He looks at Gail. 

But the ignorant girl smiles at him, proud of herself. “I made you rewatch the video message your mom had for you on your 14th birthday because I’m sure you miss her so much.” She links arms with him again. “How was it? Did I make you happy?” 

That is such a stupid question, Jeremy stares at her. His eyes dim with sorrows. 

“I’m asking you. How was-- Oh gosh, wait!” She shakes him in delight. “You’re teary-eyed! I must have touched you!”

“She’s crazy,” Chris utters while Ken rushes to the DJs to rescue Jeremy from the waves of pain drowning him at the moment.

Music blasts again and as the guests go back to partying, Jeremy hurries out of the crowd, wanting to break down. Anger, sorrow, devastation. All these are swallowing him right now. 

“What’s wrong with you??” Gail races behind him.

But he plays deaf, ignoring her and walking even faster. 

“Shouldn’t you be thanking me??” Her frustration spikes up. “What the hell is wrong with you, Jeremy??”

Can’t she tell? Jeremy loses it, making him halt his speedy steps and turn around. His teary eyes register torment. “What’s wrong with me?? Do I still need to tell you?? Did we just become friends yesterday??”

“I.. I thought you would like my present.. Don’t you miss your mom??”

For the last time, he stares at her with resentment then rushes to his car. But Gail blocks the door so he can’t open it and get inside. “I’m really sorry, Jeremy.. Please don’t be like this. I’m very sorry..”

“You know what happened four years ago. You know how I would feel if you showed me that video. But what did you do? You still chose to shatter me.” 

“But.. I just wanted to--”

“Move.”

Such a grave but full of pain voice has Gail stepping to the side. Jeremy hurries inside, slams the door shut and drives away, raging in fury. Though he desperately wants to unsee the video of his mom, he can’t. It keeps flashing before him, shattering his heart to pieces. He tightens his grip on the steering wheel then speeds up to nowhere when the dark sky suddenly starts grieving. 

But the pouring rain won’t stop him from hitting the roads until he pulls over the instant he reaches Desf Road. It’s a plain and seemingly endless road but it offers a sentimental view of the sleeping cities under the night skies. Faint dazzles, blinking lights, melancholic colors. All of these mingle with his emotions. 

He opens the window when the rain stops and embraces the cold breeze with sadness. The traces of the grieving sky surrounding the road soak his heart with depressing gloom. He’s hurting more. But weird enough, he wants to drown himself in the pain. Here on this road.

He locks his eyes on the night view only to hear his phone ring, so he answers the call to lessen his best friends’ worry.

“Take it easy, bro.” It’s Chris from the other line. “You’re burning the road, you might cause wildfires.”

“Not doing that anymore.” 

“Good. At least you took my call, no need for us to worry.” Chris ends the call right away because he knows that Jeremy always wants to be alone when he’s in pain. Besides, he has just told him that he’s no longer burning the road, so it puts him in relief. 

Jeremy drops his phone in the passenger seat then gets out of the car to embrace the solitude the unfamiliar place is giving him. Solitude and solace, to be exact, as if he has already been here before when he’s completely sure that it’s his first time on this road. 

“H..Heron.. W..Where a..are y..you..? H..Heron..?” A shaky, longing voice floats in the misty air. 

He freezes instantly, who’s that? But beyond confusion, what he feels more is terror. He’s sure he has heard the name Heron. Shivers crawl all over his body but he still manages to lift his feet to where the voice comes from. In front of his car. And to his frightening shock, there’s a girl in a long black dress lying on the road. Almost lifeless, drenched in the rain, blood all over her. Such a dreadful sight, in a split of a second, reminds him of his gruesome 14th birthday. That horrible and devastating memory flashes before him.  

His body quivers, his head feels like spinning fast, he wants to throw up. It’s the same scenario of his mom during her last moment while blood kept overflowing from her head. Even the weather on that night was like now. Gloomy and rainy, as if the skies were grieving with him. 

The girl cries and it shatters his heart. It’s absurd because he can feel her longing. Her painful cries deeply resonate with him. Though dread has already consumed him whole, he hurries over to her. 

“H..Heron..?” Her cold, trembling hand suddenly touches his face, full of longing. She’s smiling at him but her tears overflow with sorrows. “Y..You.. a..are a..alive?? Y..You are a..alive.. I’m.. g..glad.. y..you are a..alive..”

That freezes Jeremy on his knee but he quickly gets a grip because there’s no time wandering in shock and in confusion. The dying girl needs to be rushed to the nearest hospital while he still has the chance. He won’t forgive himself if another person dies in his arms again. He carries her to the back seat hastily but carefully, then drives away. 

Like the flashes of sharp lightning in the grieving sky, the car hits the road with blazing speed.