6

I arrived at the gym. I put a red hoodie on and scan my membership quietly. I head to the locker room to change. I hate changing in public spaces. The fear of being made fun of, or seeing a naked old man was always disturbing for me.

I put on black pants and changed my shirt to a simple black shirt and put my red hoodie over it. I sneak out quietly out of the locker room and put my headphones on to listen to music. I always play a bit of everything, depending on the mood I was in. Today I put on rock from the eighties to get myself excited to lift, something I haven’t felt in a long time.

It was chest and bicep days which was my favorite day. Quick and simple, yet so satisfying to do. I started with the dumbbell bench press. As I finished my set I saw Jason with Sean. I do my best to hide away from them so I just look down hoping they don’t see me.

I do another set. After I finished I looked up to see if they were still there. They were but this time Marcelo was laughing and talking with them while I just hoped he didn’t see me. Marcelo suddenly turns and spots me. He waves at me from afar and then Jason and Sean turn.

I pretend I don’t see them but before I know it they are behind me.

“Yo Pablo!” Jason says.

I get up from the bench and turn to talk to them.

“Hey Jason what’s up?”

“Not much just getting a pump in you know? I didn’t know you lifted.”

“Who’s this?” Sean asks.

“It's my boy Pablo. We have art together. He’s chill.” Jason says.

“Who?”

“He goes to our school, dude. He’s the only Mexican at our school.”

“Oh that guy! I thought his name was Juan.”

“No idiot. It's Pablo. Isn't that right Pablo?”

I stay quiet for a moment. Were they having a conversation about me, in front of me?

I nod

Sean looks at me up and down.

“How much can you bench?” He asks.

“My max is two hundred and five but I usually do three sets of ten with one forty five.”

“I don’t believe that. You look like you have never lifted in your life before.”

My face gets red for a moment. Do I really look that weak? Thoughts start to fill in my head and my head feels dizzy. I look at Marcelo who hasn’t spoken and whispers “Breathe.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open my eyes I see Sean and Jason looking at me funny.

“Yo, are you okay?’’ Jason asks.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I say as I try to keep it together. “I’ll show you. It's light work for me.”

I look at Marcelo. He gives me a thumbs up and smiles. What is he doing? Jason and Sean look at each other and smile.

“Sure. Let's do it.” Jason says.

I’m going to regret this. I’m definitely not going to be able to do this. Jason and Sean go to the bench press bar and start setting everything up. Marcelo stays with me.

“Good job man.” Marcelo says.

“What do you want? Why are you helping me?”

“Dude, relax. I just saw you stressing out so I told you to breathe.”

“Why tho. You could’ve just made fun of me.”

“ You know not everyone at the school is an asshole.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

I still don’t trust him. He must want something from me. Most likely money even though I have none. There’s no time to think about this. I have to take care of this.

“Are you doing this or not?” Sean asks.

“Coming!” I say as I head over there.

“You got this.” Marcelo says as I start to leave.

I grab my things and head over to the bench. I sit down and take a deep breath before starting. I lay down and start to position myself. As I grab the bar, I get flashbacks to when I failed to do bench press one thirty five back in freshman year. My head starts to feel dizzy, my palms get sweaty, and my face starts to get red. I then take another deep breath and relax. I got this.

“Do you need a spotter?” Jason asks.

“Nah, I got it.” As I feel a sudden confidence boost.

I grab the bar tightly as if it depended on my life, I arch my back slightly and place my feet slightly forward. I pushed up, then I realized, I had this. As the bar went down and up, I felt nothing for the first five reps. I slightly started to struggle by the eight rep.

I put the bar back and almost jumped out of the bench. I look at Jason and Sean who were doing a poker face.

“Not bad.” Sean says.

“I told you I had that.” I said.

“I have an idea. Lets bet.” Sean says.

Jason’s eyes light up, while mine shut down completely.

“I’m down. Whatever it is, I'm down.” Jason says.

“What’s the bet?” I ask.

“Lets see who can bench the most. Me, Jason, or you. Whoever wins gets twenty.”

Jason’s eyes shut down.

“I don’t have twenty. I was hoping you would say ten or five.”

“That’s nothing. No one would bet five dollars.”

“I would.”

“Okay, tell me a valuable thing you can get for five dollars.”

“A lot. You can get a king size Snicker’s bar for that.”

“You would spend five dollars on that? You are slow. If you’re going to get a king size candy, get Hersheys.”

Suddenly, we’re arguing about candy and five dollars. It's like watching toddlers fighting over their favorite toy. As they keep arguing, I spot Marcelo doing dumbbell curls. I leave Jason and Sean who don’t even notice and I walk towards Marcelo.

“Hey man, thanks.” I say.

He takes his headphones off.

“What?” He says.

“I wanted to thank you.”

“For what? It was all you dude. You just had to be confident.”

Maybe he isn’t as bad as I thought he was.

“If you need me, I’m here.” He says as he is about to go back to do another set. Before he starts his set I interrupt.

“Wait, can I get your phone number? It’ll be cool to hangout sometime.”

“Yeah sure why not.”

He hands over his phone and I write it down.

“I’ll see you at school.” Marcelo says.

I nod and I walk away.

I finish my lift and by the time I get back to my car I am almost slumped. I check the time. It's five already which explains why my stomach felt so empty. I texted my mom I was on the way home and I started to drive off.

The long drive home felt like seconds. I went to Los Angeles Azules on the way back and thought about how today wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, maybe this semester was going to be good.