Kabanata 7

He blinked at me, parang nagulat na tinapos ko agad ang usapan. Pero imbes na umatras, dahan-dahan siyang umupo sa tabi ko sa kama, shoulders slumping, para bang biglang nawala lahat ng kayabangan niya.

“Camille…” tawag niya ulit, this time mas mahina, halos bulong. “Don’t brush it off. Hindi ka dapat sanay sa ganito. Hindi ako dapat ganito.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. The way his voice cracked—hindi iyon yung Adrian Vale na nakasanayan kong matapang, dominante, lagi dapat siya ang masusunod. Sa sandaling iyon, he looked almost… lost.

Bago pa ako makasagot, umupo siya ng mas malapit. Ramdam ko ang init ng katawan niya, amoy alak at mamahaling pabango, halo ng bango at bigat. Pinatong niya ang braso niya sa balikat ko at dahan-dahang isinandal ang ulo niya sa akin.

“Just… stay like this. Please.”

Nanigas ako. Hindi ako sanay sa ganito. Lalo na galing sa kanya. Pero he clung tighter, para bang takot siyang mawawala ako kapag gumalaw ako kahit kaunti.

“Adrian,” bulong ko, “baka masanay ka.”

Narinig ko siyang huminga ng malalim, mainit at mabigat sa leeg ko. “Then let me. Sanayin mo ako. I’ve spent years having people around me just because of my name, my money, my power… pero sa’yo, iba eh. I don’t want to lose this.”

Parang may kumalabog sa dibdib ko. Ano ba itong sinasabi niya? Hindi ba’t laro lang dapat ito? Tatlong buwan na deal? Bakit parang may ibang tono na?

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko, mahigpit pero maingat. Hindi siya nagpilit, hindi rin nagmamadali. Just holding, like he was grounding himself.

“I don’t want you to think na monster ako,” he murmured, eyes closed na para bang gusto niyang tumakas sa sariling guilt. “Kasi sa totoo lang, I’m tired of playing that role.”

Tahimik lang ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat sabihin. Pero he leaned closer pa, halos nakayakap na, parang bata na naghahanap ng comfort. His breath tickled my skin, his grip on my hand steady, and for the first time, wala akong nakita sa kanya kundi isang lalaking sugatan din sa loob.

“Just for tonight, Camille,” he whispered, almost pleading. “Let me stay like this. Hayaan mo akong kumapit.”

At imbes na itulak siya, hindi ko na lang nagawa. My chest tightened, but I let him cling to me. Maybe because for once, Adrian Vale wasn’t the untouchable man who owned everything—he was just a boy, desperate not to feel alone.

He pulled me along with him as he lay down the bed. His warm chest pressing against my back, it's comforting in some way I couldn't explain. Naguguluhan ako, kanina lang parang isinusumpa ko ang sitwasyon na kinalalagyan ko, pero ngayon parang ayaw ko nang matapos 'to.

Nakakainis ka Adrian Vale! how dare you make me feel this way? you're driving me insane.

"Camille?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by his voice, it's low and raspy. fuck.

"Hm?" sagot ko na may panginginig sa boses.

"Is this okay? I mean, me holding you like this?"

"Yeah, it's alright. Just don't drool on me" ani ko na may halong biro.

"I won't" he simply answered and burrowed his face on my neck. his lips grazing my skin and goddamn it's giving me butterflies.

"You're shaking" he added. napakagat ako ng labi. "Are you cold? Is my warmth not enough?" he spoke suggestively. I know exactly what he's trying to do.

"Uh...no...this is enough"

“I can feel you trembling,” bulong niya ulit, mas malapit pa ngayon. Yung hininga niya mainit sa leeg ko, halos nagdudulot ng kilabot sa balat ko. “Camille… bakit parang ikaw pa ang nahihiya? I’m the one who should be ashamed.”

“Adrian…” mahina kong tawag, pero imbes na tumigil, mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang yakap.

His hand slid down slowly mula sa kamay kong hawak niya kanina, dumapo sa bewang ko. Hindi siya nagmadali, hindi rin bastos. It was deliberate, as if tinatanong niya ako kung papayag ako. And before I could even process, naramdaman ko yung labi niya, dumadampi na sa batok ko.

“Shit—” napaigtad ako pero napapikit din. Para bang bawat dampi ng labi niya ay nag-iiwan ng marka na hindi ko kayang burahin.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin. “Sabihin mo lang at titigil ako.”

Pero wala akong nasabi. My throat went dry, my heart beating like crazy.

He took that silence as permission. Mabagal, halos nakakabaliw, gumuhit yung halik niya mula leeg hanggang sa gilid ng panga ko. Each kiss was featherlight pero ramdam kong buo ang intensyon.

“Camille…” he groaned, parang nasasaktan sa sariling pagpipigil. “You don’t know how hard this is for me. Lasing ako, but I’m not blind. I know what I want, and right now… it’s you.”

Napakagat ako ng labi, pilit na hindi magpadala. Pero when his hand gently traced circles on my side, pulling me closer, halos mapalunok ako sa init na bumabalot sa buong katawan ko.

“Adrian, tama na—”

“Don’t lie to me,” putol niya agad, boses niya mababa at puno ng pagnanasa. “Your body’s answering me already. I can feel it.”

Damn him. Damn the way his words hit me.

Bago pa ako makasagot, kinabig niya ako paharap. Our eyes met, his gaze heavy, pupils dilated. Para siyang hayop na pinakawalan pero pilit pa ring humihingi ng pahintulot.

“Last chance, Camille,” he rasped, forehead leaning against mine. “Do I stop?”

My lips parted, pero walang lumabas na salita. At doon siya ngumisi ng konti, hindi yung usual smug grin niya, kundi isang pahiwatig ng pagkatalo—na kahit siya mismo, nahuhulog sa laro niyang siya ang nagpasimula.

And then his mouth crashed against mine. Mainit, gutom, pero puno ng pagpipigil na parang kahit desperado, ayaw niyang saktan ako. His kiss tasted like alcohol and raw need, pero sa ilalim nun, ramdam ko yung takot niya—takot na baka hindi ko siya tanggapin.

I clutched his shirt, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away. He groaned into the kiss, his hand cradling the back of my head, ang isa naman ay nasa bewang ko, steady pero possessive.

“Camille…” he moaned against my lips, voice breaking. “You’ll be the death of me.”