014: Through The Eyes Of A Child

Ashton's POV

I don't know what part of me agreed to this. Maybe the part that hadn’t stopped thinking about him since I saw his face. Maybe the part of me that remembered Lily’s eyes that day when she said, "You don’t deserve him."

Maybe she was right.

But it didn’t stop me.

It had been two days since the brunch, and every hour that passed without seeing Nathan made something in me ache. The kind of ache that felt heavy in the chest. James and I had gone through every ridiculous idea imaginable. I couldn't call. Lily would've blocked me. Showing up at her house would lead to security turning me away. I considered a custody case. That alone made me sick. I didn’t want to fight her.

I just wanted to meet him.

So here I was. Standing in the faculty restroom of Ridgewell Preparatory Academy, sweating inside a full-body dinosaur costume. A green one with bulging eyes, a soft tail, and gloves that made gripping anything nearly impossible.

"Sir," James said from outside the door. "You really don’t have to go through with this. We can come up with something else. This is not...and I mean this respectfully...not your strength."

"He’s four," I muttered, adjusting the massive head of the costume and looking at myself in the mirror. I looked like a joke. A billionaire joke. "He likes dinosaurs. That’s what Lily's assistant told her friend at that brunch. He wears dinosaur hoodies. He has dinosaur socks. It’s the only opening I have."

James sighed deeply. "Well, at least wave convincingly. I saw you waving earlier. You looked like a malfunctioning car wash balloon."

I didn’t dignify that with a reply.

The principal, Mr. Rowan, had been surprisingly understanding. Or maybe just easily persuaded. I made a generous donation to the school's library, offered a new outdoor play structure, and requested to be the surprise "dinosaur visitor" for the kids' playground time. No questions asked.

"Okay, okay... Showtime," I said under my breath.

I stepped out.

The playground buzzed with little voices. Shouts. Giggles. Children running around in tiny shoes and backpacks. And then one of the teachers gasped and said, "Look, everyone! Who's that at the gate?"

I made a grand entrance, doing my best wobbly dinosaur walk, arms raised slightly. The kids screamed with joy.

"DINO!"

"T-REX!"

"IT'S A DINOSAURRRRR!"

I crouched and did a little silly hop, nearly falling. James winced dramatically on the side, mouthing, "Careful!"

One by one, kids ran to me, wrapping their tiny arms around my legs, squealing, laughing. I bent awkwardly and gave them hugs, lifted a few in the air...as best I could in the costume...and twirled.

One girl kissed my giant dinosaur nose. Another gave me a dandelion.

I waved. I posed. I even danced when the teacher played some dinosaur song on her phone. James was in the corner laughing silently into his phone, probably recording me. I would fire him. Or double his salary. I hadn't decided yet.

Then it happened.

He stepped into the circle.

Nathan.

He wore a lime green hoodie with a dino tail stitched on the back. His curls bounced as he walked. He was holding the hand of a teacher, a little more reserved than the others, watching me with those wide brown eyes.

My eyes.

My throat closed up. I froze.

He looked exactly like me. It was as if someone had cut out a smaller version of my childhood photo and pasted it into the real world.

He let go of the teacher’s hand and walked up to me slowly. The other kids cleared a path. It was like something silent passed between us. Like they all sensed it. I crouched to his height.

He stared. Then grinned. A shy one.

"Hi, Mr. Dinosaur," he said.

My breath hitched. I opened my arms, and to my surprise, he walked right into them. I lifted him.

He was warm. Light. But solid in a way that nearly dropped me to my knees. My son.

My arms tightened around him, and I held him longer than I did the others. Way longer.

"You're really soft," he mumbled.

I chuckled, trying not to choke. My eyes were burning. Inside the suit, I blinked rapidly, breathing through my nose.

He pulled back and looked at the costume. "Can I see your face?"

My fingers shook as I reached up. I slowly took off the dino head.

His eyes widened.

He blinked. Then leaned back, squinting.

"You... you're the man from the airport!" he gasped.

My heart dropped.

He remembered.

"Yeah," I said, voice thick. "It’s me."

He stared longer, then tilted his head. "Why are you dressed like a dinosaur?"

I laughed. The real kind. "Because I wanted to see you. And you like dinosaurs."

His brows pulled together. "Are you here to play with me?"

"More than that, buddy. I’m here because... I'm your dad."

Gasps came from the staff nearby.

One of the teachers glanced at the principal, who stepped closer. Mr. Rowan's expression froze. He looked between me and Nathan, eyes wide.

No one said anything. No one had to.

The resemblance was unmistakable.

I looked back at my son, who stared at me like he was trying to make sense of a puzzle.

"You're my daddy?" he asked.

I nodded, “Yes.”

He didn’t say anything right away. Just stared. Thinking. Then...quietly...he frowned.

“But Mommy said… you left.”

My heart stopped.

“I asked her where my daddy was once. She looked really sad. She said… he didn’t want to stay.”

I couldn’t speak.

He looked down, his small fingers picking at the sleeve of the costume. “She always gets quiet when I ask. Like she wants to cry, but she doesn’t.”

I felt like someone had knocked the air out of my lungs.

Nathan looked up again. His voice was softer this time. “Why did you leave us?”

I froze.

I didn’t even know what to say. I’d imagined a hundred ways this moment would go. A hug. A smile. Maybe even tears. But I didn’t expect this. His confusion. His pain. The echoes of everything Lily had tried to protect him from.

“I didn’t know,” I said quietly, my throat raw. “I didn’t know you existed, Nathan. If I had… I swear to you, I never would’ve left.”

He tilted his head. “But Mommy knew. Why didn’t she tell you?”

I exhaled slowly. “It’s… complicated. But she was hurt. Because of me. I made mistakes. And your mommy… she’s the strongest person I know. She did everything to protect you. I don’t blame her.”

Nathan stared at me, like he was still trying to make sense of everything. Then he asked the question that gutted me.

“Didn’t you want me?”

His voice cracked just a little.

And that broke me.

I pulled him in, holding him tighter against my chest, burying my face in his soft curls. “God, no. No, buddy. I would’ve given anything to be with you. I didn’t know you were out there. I swear to you, I would’ve come. I would’ve held you every day. I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t say anything. But he didn’t pull away either.

I held him there, kneeling on the ground in that ridiculous costume, trying to hold it together. But my eyes were stinging. My throat was burning. And for the first time in years, I felt like I was falling apart...but in the best, most painful way.

“Mommy cries sometimes at night,” he mumbled into my shoulder.

I froze again.

“She tries to hide it, but I hear her,” he continued. “I think she misses someone.”

That did it.

I shut my eyes tight, pressing my lips to his head.

“I think she’s been hurting for a long time,” he said, his tiny hand gripping my shirt now.

“I know,” I whispered. “I know she has. And that’s my fault. I did that to her.”

He pulled back a little and looked me in the face again.

“Are you gonna hurt her again?”

That question… it was like he’d been carrying it around for years, and only now had someone finally shown up to answer it.

I shook my head. “No, Nathan. Never. I promise you, I’ll never hurt her again. And I’ll never hurt you. Ever.”

He looked at me for a long moment.

Then slowly, he reached up and touched my cheek with his small hand.

“You don’t look like a bad guy,” he said softly.

I laughed a little through the tightness in my chest. “I don’t want to be. Not anymore.”

One of the teachers, Miss Clara, walked over slowly, watching the moment carefully. Her eyes were wide, but she didn’t say anything. The principal, Mr. Rowan, stood nearby, exchanging a look with her. Everyone could see it now...the resemblance. It was undeniable.

Nathan looked like me. Walked like me. Even the way he squinted when he thought...that was mine.

Miss Clara finally spoke, her voice quiet. “Mr. Carter… he looks just like you.”

I nodded, still holding Nathan. “I know.”

The teachers exchanged a few hushed words, but no one interrupted us.

Nathan pulled back slightly and looked around. “Is it okay if I go show you my playground?”

I smiled, brushing a curl off his forehead. “Absolutely. Show me everything.”

He jumped down from my arms and grabbed my hand tightly. “Come on, I’ll show you the sand pit. That’s my favorite.”

As he dragged me toward the edge of the playground, I looked back once...at the teachers, the stunned principal, and at James, who had his arms crossed and his face completely unreadable.

But he gave me a slight nod.

And I knew what it meant.

We’d done it.

I met my son.

And now…everything was about to change.