017: The Call

Lily's POV. 

I paced.

The living room was a mess...toys scattered, cushions lopsided, Nathan’s drawing book still open on the coffee table, that green dinosaur with a cape staring back at me like it knew what I was about to do.

I couldn’t think straight.

Nathan had gone to bed an hour ago. After his story, two glasses of water, a very serious negotiation about whether he needed socks to sleep in, and one more hug. He finally curled under his blanket, stuffed T-Rex in one arm, the other hand holding mine until he drifted off.

And the entire time, I was pretending.

Pretending like my world hadn’t just been flipped.

Pretending like my son hadn’t come home and told me he met his father...my ex-boss...the man who fired me four years ago when I was pregnant with his child. A man who had shown up at my son’s school in a goddamn dinosaur suit and told him the truth before I could.

I wanted to scream.

Instead, I opened my laptop.

There was only one person I could reach out to. Someone who’d still be in Ashton’s orbit.

James.

Ashton Carter’s Personal Assistant.

Back then, James was the guy who scheduled my meetings, texted me reminders, buzzed me when Ashton was in a mood. He always seemed harmless. A little sarcastic. Always too well-dressed for a P.A. But sharp. Loyal. Definitely still working for him.

I opened a private fashion group chat I hadn’t used in years. There was a stylist in there...Nicole...who once worked on Ashton’s press tour back when Maison Evana did a collab pitch with Carter Holdings.

It was a long shot.

Me: Nicole. Sorry to bug. Do you still have James’ number? Ashton’s PA.

It showed ‘typing…’ almost immediately.

Nicole: Hi! Omg. Hey. Long time. Yeah, I still do. Sending it now.

The contact came through in a flash.

James Carter Holdings. --2309.

I stared at it.

Just stared.

My heart was pounding. Like calling him would somehow drag me back to four years ago. To the office where I stood with a broken heart, where I was treated like trash. Pretending I hadn’t just lost the one job I actually cared about.

But this wasn’t about me.

This was about my son.

I grabbed my phone and typed the number in. My thumb hovered over the call button.

Don’t be dramatic, Lily. Just do it.

I tapped it.

Two rings.

Three.

"James Carter," he answered.

That voice. Still the same.

"James. It’s Lily Evans."

There was silence. A beat. Maybe two.

Then a short exhale. "I was wondering when you’d call."

My stomach twisted. "So you know."

"I was there. I helped zip the dinosaur costume."

Of course he did.

I rubbed my forehead. "I need his number. Ashton’s."

James didn’t speak right away. I could practically hear his brain turning.

"He didn’t ask me to keep it from you," he finally said. "I think he knew this was coming."

"Good," I said flatly. "Because I have questions. And a lot to say."

"I’m texting it to you now. But, Lily... don’t yell right away. He didn’t go there to hurt anyone. He just wanted to meet him. He’s been losing sleep over this."

I closed my eyes, jaw tightening. "He told my son he was his father, James. Without telling me first."

Silence.

Then: "Yeah. That part... wasn’t in the plan."

My phone buzzed. A new message.

Ashton Carter. --6071.

I stared at it like it was a grenade. My thumb hovered again.

"Thanks," I said, voice cold.

"For what it’s worth," James said, quieter now. "He never stopped thinking about you."

I hung up.

I dropped the phone on the couch and sank into the cushions. My head fell into my hands.

I finally had the number.

Now I just had to decide what to do with it.

… 

I stared at the number on my screen for what felt like forever.

James had given it to me without hesitation. No questions, no long talk, just a quiet sigh and a text that read: "Here. He’s been expecting this."

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. My hands were shaking too much.

Nathan was asleep. I could see his tiny form curled up under the dinosaur blanket on the couch. His hand still clutched that stupid T-Rex drawing. I had no idea what time it was. My head felt hot. My chest tighter by the second.

I grabbed my phone and walked into the hallway, then past the kitchen, past the patio door, and stepped outside barefoot. The night air hit me, but it did nothing to cool down the fire in my body. I kept walking until I reached the far end of the backyard, near the old bench under the guava tree. I needed to be far. Far from my son. Far from the walls.

I hit call.

The phone rang once.

Twice.

"Lily," he answered.

Just like that. My name. No hello. No confusion. No surprise. Like he’d been sitting there waiting for it.

I didn’t even think. My mouth exploded.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!"

Silence.

"You dress up in a f**king dinosaur suit and show up to my son’s school like it's some damn cartoon episode?! Without calling me?! Without warning?!"

He was quiet. I could hear him breathe.

"Lily..."

"Don't 'Lily' me! Are you crazy?! Do you know how messed up that was?! How dare you go behind my back like that?! That is my son!"

He spoke calm. Too calm.

"He’s my son too."

My breath hitched. I swear my heart skipped.

"You lost every right to say that the moment you fired me and pretended I didn't exist! The moment you disappeared, Ashton!"

"I didn’t know, Lily," he said. Soft. "You didn’t tell me."

"You didn’t deserve to know!"

"I disagree."

"Of course you do!"

I was pacing now. Barefoot on cold tiles. Phone pressed so hard against my ear I thought it would shatter.

"You think you can just come back and do... what? Be a dad now? Buy him dinosaurs? Pop juice boxes and hold his hand and act like the past didn’t happen?!"

"No. I know exactly what happened. I know what I did. And I’m not trying to erase it."

That shut me up for a second.

"I’m trying to fix what I can," he added.

"By blindsiding me? By putting teachers in a difficult position? Ashton, he came home and told me everything. He said you hugged him. That you played with him. That you told him you're his dad."

"Because I am."

"You don't get to say that!"

"I'm not here to fight you, Lily."

"Well, too bad, because I am fighting you!"

I stopped pacing. My eyes were hot. I hadn't even noticed I was crying until I wiped at my cheek.

"Why now?" I asked, voice smaller. "Why now, after all these years?"

"Because I saw him. And I couldn’t unsee it. Because I couldn’t breathe for days thinking about what I missed. Because I want to be there. Because he’s mine too."

I sat on the bench, hand gripping the edge so tight it hurt.

"Stay away from him, Ashton," I whispered, but it came out hard.

"I can't."

"You have to."

"I won’t."

Silence.

I could hear the sound of something in the background...a fridge door maybe, or a glass. It didn’t matter.

"He's just a kid," I muttered. "He doesn’t know what all this means. He doesn’t know what you did to me. What it took for me to raise him on my own."

"Then let’s talk. Face to face. Tomorrow. Please."

"No."

"Lily..."

"I said no. There’s nothing to talk about."

"Then I’ll come to your door."

I froze.

"Don’t you dare."

"Then meet me somewhere. Anywhere you want. Somewhere public. Neutral. Just us. For twenty minutes."

"I don’t want to see you."

"You already have."

I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes.

"You always do this," I snapped. "You speak so calmly, like you’re the one being reasonable. Like you're the one who was left behind."

"I’m calm because if I match your anger, we’ll both explode."

"Then maybe you should explode! Maybe you should feel what I’ve felt all these years!"

He was quiet again.

"I do," he said finally.

"No, you don’t," I snapped. "You don’t get to claim that."

"Then let me show you. In person. Just talk to me. One meeting. That’s all I’m asking."

I stood up again. I didn’t even know why.

"I hate you," I said.

"I know."

I didn’t mean it. But I said it anyway.

"I mean it. I hate you for everything you are. For everything you did. For the way you just show up. For the way Nathan smiled when he talked about you. For the way he drew that picture."

My voice cracked.

"I hate that you make me feel like I should let you in. And I won’t. I won’t make that mistake again."

He didn’t speak for a long time.

"One meeting," he said quietly. "Tomorrow. Noon. You pick the place. If you don’t show up, I’ll leave you alone. But if you do... we talk."

I stared up at the sky. It was black and blank. No stars tonight.

"I’ll think about it."

"That’s all I ask."

I ended the call.

My chest hurt.

I walked slowly back to the house. Nathan was still curled up on the bed, one arm over his dino plush.

I dropped to my knees beside him and brushed his hair back.

"What are we going to do with your daddy, huh?"

He didn’t answer.

He was dreaming.

And I was wide awake, drowning in a nightmare I thought I’d already survived.