Desiring My Alpha: The Year I turned 21.

Chapter 1.

“I just wanted to be his good girl. One who took his command like a dirty little whore.”

I had spent the last four years of my life crushing on a man I should never have desired.

Lucien Blackthorn. Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack. He was hot, brooding, dominating, and older. He was danger dipped in sin, and every time he so much as looked my way, something reckless came alive inside me.

I was turning 21 and my prayer to the Moon Goddess had been short. It was different from the one I often made before.

While every other girl in the pack prayed desperately to the Moon Goddess to find their mate and settle down, my prayer had been different. Short, secret, and shameful.

I didn’t care about my mate. Or the fact that my first shift hadn’t happened yet.

All I cared about… was being the one who obeyed the Alpha’s filthy little commands.

Seven years ago, after a rogue attack claimed my parents’ lives, he had appeared from the shadows like a savior, slaughtered the rogues on the spot, took me in, and raised me as his own.

But ever since I had turned eighteen… the thoughts had changed to something dark and twisted.

And sometimes, in my weakest moments, I imagined being spread out and fucked wild by my Alpha Daddy while moaning his name like the dirty little whore I feared I was becoming.

I wanted to know what it felt like to have those big, calloused hands roaming over my skin… unzipping me slowly, like I was something fragile, or forbidden. I wanted him to grab my chin, tilt my head, and look me in the eye like he owned me—because a part of me already believed he did.

I wanted his voice—low and commanding—to whisper things into my ear that I wasn’t ready to hear.

Not yet. But maybe tonight.

A knock came on the door, jolting me out of my trance. My eyes darted to the door.

“Come in,” I called out, masking the heat in my voice.

The door opened, revealing my best friend — Vera, sister to the Beta of the Blood Moon Pack.

She stood at an elegant 5’8”, dressed in a milk-colored gown, her long blonde hair flowing down her back like spun silk.

My lips curved into a soft smile. Vera had been by my side from the very first day I arrived at the palace. Protective, loyal, and more like a big sister than a friend.

“Pearl!” Vera beamed, dragging her eyes across my figure.

“You look beautiful,” she whispered, guiding me gently toward the mirror.

My breath caught. I hadn’t looked at myself all morning — too caught up in my prayers and in my longing.

Now I stared. Long ginger hair fell in three cascading parts. A soft blue Cinderella gown hugged my body, a delicate crown perched above my curls.

Goodness I looked like a Disney princess.

“We should get going,” Vera said softly, her tone unusually cautious.

I nodded, casting one last glance at my reflection.

This dress. This look. Maybe today, he would spare me more than a passing glance.

But I warned myself not to hope.

Alpha Lucien had never attended any of my birthday parties, and I had never asked for more, so I wouldn’t start now.

Every year, he threw me a celebration. Raised me like a daughter. Protected me like a guardian.

Even if a small, wicked part of me wanted more, I would always be grateful for that.

“How do I look?” I asked, twirling nervously.

“Exquisite,” Vera mouthed, blowing me a kiss.

As we stepped out of my room, the air outside changed.

The familiar scent of Alpha Lucien gripped my nostrils — masculine, smoky, and intoxicating.

My steps faltered, legs halting when I saw him.

Alpha Lucien. He stood beneath the chandelier, tall and commanding in his powerful 6’4” frame, his skin glowing under the golden light like something carved from shadow and sin.

My stomach flipped, thighs clamping underneath my dress. Oh holy heavens! I could feel myself dripping from the sight of him.

Our eyes met. Just for a second.

His cold gaze dragged across my body like a slow, heated stroke — and in that moment, I could swear I saw something like admiration and hunger.

My skin prickled, heat crawling beneath the layers of my skin.

“Alpha Lucien,” Vera greeted, bowing. I looked at her and hurriedly did the same. But he said nothing.

He just looked at us once… then turned away, walking down the hall and vanishing without a word.

My lips parted slightly, perplexed.

Wasn’t he coming to my room? Was he angry?

My chest tightened, a heavy ache pressing where my excitement had bloomed just seconds ago. But I shook it off. Not today. This day would still be perfect. Because I had Vera. And because no matter how twisted my desires were… he looked at me.

And that look would stay with me.

*

“Look who is here.” Celestia — the famous daughter of Elder Lucas — said the moment I descended the stairs, walking closer in elegance too forced to be real, her two puppies trailing behind like well-trained shadows.

She folded her arms, lips painted in a venomous smirk as the crowd cleared to give her way.

“The orphan wears a crown now?” she sneered, voice sugar-laced with poison. “Tell me, was it bought or borrowed?”

The words didn’t stab — not exactly. But they scraped. I won’t say I’m used to being talked down on, but I’ve heard this a redundant number of times to even twitch.

I held my chin higher, refusing to give her the reaction she wanted. That’s the thing about people like Celestia — they fed on your response and basked in your grief.

Her friend giggled. “You’d think being raised by an Alpha would give her better taste. But I guess class isn’t inherited.”

Before I could blink, Vera stepped forward. Her voice came sharp, like glass sliding across velvet. “At least she doesn’t need five layers of makeup to look human, Celestia.”

The air stiffened. Celestia’s smile faded. Her girls fell silent.

“Don’t make me remind you who my father is,” she hissed.

“And don’t make me remind you who trained your father,” Vera shot back. “Now move. You’re blocking the party.”

Celestia scoffed and rolled her eyes, turning with a bitter swirl of her dress before storming off.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I murmured to Vera.

She shrugged, lips curling in a half-smile. “You’re not vocal. I am. And as long as I’m here, no one in the world will ever hurt you.”

Before I could respond, a voice cut through the air. “Pearl.”

I turned — and saw Imani weaving through the crowd, her dress trailing behind like soft petals.

“Sorry I’m late,” she panted slightly. “But Goddess — you look divine. I should’ve arrived earlier just to stare.”

A real smile touched my lips. “Thank you,” I whispered, giggling at her silly joke.

Vera, Imani, and I. We were the trio. And a trio had never felt this right.

Soon, the party bloomed into full rhythm. The hall shimmered beneath gold chandeliers that spilled warm light across every corner. Tall pillars wrapped in silk and climbing vines framed the room. Long tables held trays of wine, delicate desserts, and silver platters steaming with rich food.

Music flowed from a small live band, elegant and smooth — the kind that made hips sway without effort. The dance floor filled with bodies, couples pairing up like scenes from a royal ball.

My palm rubbed my arms, the thoughts of the Alpha carefully sipping into my head. What would it feel like to be here… dancing with him?

“You look beautiful,” said a voice. I turned. Marko.

His eyes roamed with a heat I recognized. The same look I gave Lucien when no one was watching.

“Thank you.” I kept my reply short and simple.

“Will you do me the honor?” he asked, stretching out his hand with a crooked smirk.

I hesitated, then placed my hand in his. I was the birthday girl, after all.

He led me to the floor, his hands resting lightly at my waist as the music slowed. I tried to follow the rhythm… but my mind drifted somewhere far more dangerous.

All of a sudden, my skin prickled, and sensation crawled across my back.

I could feel it — the sharp, piercing gaze that burned into my spine.

My head snapped in that direction, lingering on the spot for a few seconds, but no one was there.

I looked back at Marko, trying to find my rhythm again, but my mind betrayed me.

The thoughts of Alpha Lucien slipped into my head. The image of us dancing, his hands bigger and rougher, roaming around my body.

The thought unfurled into something unholy. I saw myself on my knees in front of him. Bent over his desk. Whimpering under his hand. His mouth near my ear, telling me I’d been so good for him.

My thighs pressed together.

“Are you okay?” Marko’s voice snapped me back.

“Yes,” I said quickly. “Just… distracted.”

The music faded. The dance ended. And we stepped apart.

*

My birthday party had ended and I was now standing at the front of the Alpha’s door with a piece of cake I had reserved for him. I hope the Moon Goddess will grant my wish to become the Alpha’s pet, so that I can also focus on finding the reason behind my parents' death.

I placed a gentle knock on the door, my heart twirling between fear and excitement. I had reserved this cake to say thank you, but deep down, I knew it was just an excuse to see him.

I placed another knock on the door, but no reply came.

With an arched brow, I reached for the door handle and pushed the door open.

The moment the door slipped, my breath hitched and my body froze.

My eyes widened, lips parting at the sight that welcomed me.