Chapter Seventeen: Apology Tour Begins

ZOVADA

My gaze widened as I swallowed my emotions, the benefactor long replaced by an imposter, Simon in front of me. He beamed at me like he had when we were much younger, with many fewer responsibilities and issues on our plate. 

Dressed in a baby blue Henley tee that felt like a soft cloud against my fingers and… worn-out, holey jeans with a bejeweled matching belt. He spun me around and pulled me back toward the main part of the office. 

Confused, I furrowed a brow as we passed the mirrored wall toward his office. The drastic difference between our appearance made me stop and take it in. The image of my designer black heels versus his worn-out baby blue Converse I hadn’t seen in years was dizzying. There in my layered black and green suit, my hair and makeup done to perfection, while he was dressed down and his hair messy. It looked like the Simon of the past had snuck through a portal to steal the Zovada of today. 

Simon noticed I stopped and looked at the reflection himself. He grinned and hugged me from behind. “You look beautiful, Zov.” 

“What’s going on?” I whispered. 

“We are taking the day off.” He kissed my cheek and continued on the journey. 

“You really cleared our calendars for two weeks, Si?”

“Okay, fine. You caught me. It was supposed to be a surprise; HR wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

“They didn’t; I had to find out. Why would you do that? Especially without telling me? We have so much we need to do– the Board is freaking out. Did you even call the clients and tell them? And did you know someone bought–” 

He stopped in front of me and pressed a finger to my lips. “Zov. If the board, and the staff, and the Directors, and the thousands to millions, I don’t even know how many people you and HR have hired anymore, can’t handle two weeks without us. Then we clearly haven’t done nearly enough delegation, and something is wrong.” 

“But–” 

He cradled my face. “Zovada Sage. I put us in for two weeks off because that is something I should’ve been doing all along. We haven’t been able to spend hardly any time together. I know I am just now noticing that, and I am a terrible mate for that. Please. Stop talking about work. Stop worrying about work. Let’s talk about us instead. There has to be more between us than that. I know there is. We just need to find it again. I am trying. Can you try?”  

My heart thundered in my chest as tears stung my eyes. My throat heavy with emotion, I swallowed hard. He looked so serious as he pleaded with me, his words so powerful, they nearly moved me–nearly.

I sighed and nodded. There has to be more between us. But what?

He grinned and kissed me deeply. Right there in the middle of Horne Holdings LLC. Something that had never happened before. Awareness prickled my skin. I could feel eyes on us, and someone nearby gasped; a stack of papers was dropped. Simon Parker Horne ignored all of it. He pulled away and took my hand to lead me back down the corridor. My gaze caught Haidara and Didi, who looked cozy in the doorway to the conference room as they watched; both grinned. Haidara waved facetiously, and Didi mouthed, “Have fun.” I glared at both and followed Simon.  

Did they know?

Before I could say anything, we made it to Simon’s office, and he chuckled when he noticed his office set up for him like usual. “My sweet, reliable Zov. My precious mate.” He shut down his computer and smiled at his breakfast. A nostalgic look on his face. “You are so consistent in your care of me. It sometimes makes me forget just how truly grateful I am. I know I have taken you and all you do for the pack and me for granted. I was so focused on protecting you from the naysayers, I never thought about how it could be damaging for you. I always thought I was doing right by you.”

I sighed and crossed my arms. “I know that, Simon. I  really do. I don’t do what I do for any other reason than I want to. I used to think it was because I wanted to impress you. But truly? It just needed to be done, and when the Luna Mother fell ill and Lisa wasn’t going to act like a Luna, I knew it had to be me. The pack deserves to feel a Luna’s love, even if it’s a Shadow Luna.” 

Simon smiled proudly as he took my hands in his. “I should’ve just let them see you.” 

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I have always understood that the political optics are important. A wolfless orphan Luna with no pack is dangerous to the pack. I get it.” 

“It matters to me. It stops now. When I am up there on that ascension stage, you will be next to me.” 

I offered a tight smile. “We’ll see. Lisa seems hellbent on casting me aside.”

“I will do everything I can to correct that behavior when I am Alpha.” 

I nodded. 

He sighed. “That’s for the future though. Let’s just live in the now.” 

Simon’s face turned mischievous as he knocked the coffee and bagel into the trash. I moved to object, but he dragged me out of the office.

“What are you doing?” 

He knocked over my own breakfast into the trash and then grabbed my briefcase before we raced toward the elevator. “Feeding you, of course.” 

“Feeding me? We had a perfectly acceptable breakfast sitting–” 

Simon pushed the parking garage button, wrapped his hands around my waist, and kissed me once more. My body reacted automatically, just like it had for years. On autopilot, a dance we had danced for as long as I could remember. Yet, I couldn’t remember the lyrics. The disparity between the dance and the song we used to sing–so glaring all I could do was change the subject. 

“Si! We are at the company!” 

He laughed and danced his fingers down my arms. “I don’t care.”

“You should! You are breaking your own rules! Someone will see!” Even the tingles of the mate bond felt faint, distant, like grains of sand that slip through your fingers. 

“I can’t wait to get you out of this suit and bring back my playful Zov. You look so amazing, but are so serious…” 

“I am following YOUR rules.”

“Clearly past me was a killjoy.” 

I smirked at that. “You said it, not me.” 

He rubbed his nose against mine. “There she is.” 

“Well, you are kidnapping me. I should make light of it.”

“I prefer the term Mate-napping.” He buried his head in my neck and inhaled my scent. “Past me was such a fool.”

“Why do you say that?” 

“Zovada. You have no idea how many things I want to confess to you. How crazy you make me; the fact you thought for one moment I didn’t care is maddening.” 

I placed my palms on his chest and looked in those stunning blue eyes. Endless like the sky above. “I never thought you didn’t care about me, Simon. I just know that you have many priorities, and even if I am among them, I know there are many more pressing things than I.”

He smiled and caressed my cheek. “You are always so understanding. Even if I know deep down you are hurting. You always put me and the pack first. A true Luna at your core. Just because I keep making the same mistakes doesn’t mean I don’t notice the toll it takes. Just like it took on my mother. As Alpha, I want to be better than my father in this regard. I want to remember the age-old rule: a Luna is equal to her Alpha. Sometimes even more important than the Alpha, I just want to pave the way for you. If I am going to change the culture, I need everything to be perfect. You deserve it, Zov.” 

His words held so much weight, so much truth, and I knew he meant it. Just like everything he ever said. However, I also knew, when it came down to it..? 

My mind wandered as I took him in, Simon had always been a wonderful man. Yet, he had many blind spots and didn’t realize I was his brain. I’d spent so much time thinking for him; he’d always felt ten steps ahead. Because I had already sketched out every obstacle for him and let him choose the correct route. When in reality, he was always steps behind. 

We’d always been in sync, though, despite that, yet right now in this moment? 

Why are we so disconnected? Why can’t he tell? Is he truly oblivious to how I am feeling anymore, or does he just think some time together will fix everything that's broken?