Meghan

CHAPTER 3

“Megan please!” Darrel's voice echoed but I was already leaving half walking back to my seat. Danny was already walking towards me, a worried expression in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking behind me.

“Yes,” I nodded and then looked back to find Darrell standing behind me.

“Who is he?”

Danny asked, glaring at Darrell.

“Nobody. He's nobody.” I said, “Let's get back to our seats.” I added and Danny modded even though he didn't look like he wanted to.

“Are you sure you are okay? You look pale?”

He asked.

“No, I'm not okay.” I answered once we were back in our seats. “I think I'm hallucinating again.”

“Shit, did you take your meds?” He whispered.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Okay. I'll get Festus to come by so we can leave. We'll have to go over to Doctor Thessa tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I smiled.

I didn't deserve him, he didn't deserve to be treated so kindly by him yet he never once made me feel like it.

Ten minutes later, we were both outside the building on our way to our car.

“What about John?” I asked.

“John is going to be fine, I'll see him tomorrow, your mental health is more important to me,”

“I don't deserve you,” I confessed and he rolled his eyes at me. “You are my best friend and my wife. Trust nobody comes above you.” he replied in a tone that stated I should know this by now.

“I doubt John would like that.” I chuckled.

“John understands our situation, he'll be fine.” he shrugged as he helped me into the car.

I was feeling better already now that I was out of the building.

I just wanted to be away from him.

I was calm now but that was only because Danny was holding my hands and caressing me softly.

Just as Danny got into the car beside me, I looked out the window ànd gasped when I saw Darrell staring at me, his eyes sad.

My heart skipped several beats as I watched him from inside the now moving car. He looked defeated and angry at the same time which didn't make sense to me. I looked away, refusing to let my mind play more sick games on me.

*****

“How are you feeling now?” Danny asked two hours later after I had showered, cried and gotten ready for bed.

“Good,” I lied. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I wasn't feeling good or that I had seen Darrell last night. He'd flip and probably match up to him and say someone which I didn't want.

I wanted nothing to do with him.

“Are you sure?”

He questioned handing me a cup of hot cocoa.

“I am.”

“What did you see?” He asked.

“Huh?” I frowned in confusion.

“You said you were hallucinating again. What did you see? Was it Sarah?”

He questioned, assessing my expression.

I wanted to tell him the truth but I knew it was a bad idea. It was better to let it be and tell my therapist. She'd know what to do or at least help me figure it out.

“Yes,” I nodded, hating the fact that I had to stoop to lying to my best friend but what could I do?

I didn't want to burden him anymore than I had and I still wasn't sure if I had imagined Darrell.

“Do you think it's because today is her you know…” he trailed off, taking a seat across from me and placing his hot cocoa on the kitchen island.

“I don't know, maybe.” Danny nodded, his blonde hair bouncing as he did.

He was such a beautiful man and it was evident in how much he was pursued by women. It was too bad he swung the other way, he'd have made a woman or multiple women happy.

“Alright. I've booked an appointment with your therapist for tomorrow. Do you think you'll be able to make it to a family dinner tomorrow?”

He asked.

“Yeah, I will. Don't worry. I was just overwhelmed today. I'm sorry I dragged you out before the event was over.”

“Don't be silly. I hated it too.”

“Really? You had three awards.”

“Yes, for my father. He's the only reason I'm doing any of this. I'm a bigger trophy to him than the trophies I won today.”

Danny and his father had a love-hate relationship.

Danny wanted to be an artist, a painter and his father wanted him to continue the family business. His father had given him an ultimatum that he either take over the business and get married or he would freeze his entire account and make sure he never would do a single painting.

Danny had no choice but to finish business school and he'd formed a contract marriage with me because he knew his father wouldn't understand his sexuality either.

He was bisexual but he was in love with John and had been for a long time. I was the only way they could be together and after all he'd done for me, I was more than willing to help him in any way I could.

His family also liked me. I suspected they were just happy their son finally brought a woman he wanted to marry after complaining for years.

“True. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to hear about our awards tomorrow.”

“You'll have to do the talking.” Danny was saying but his phone rang and he picked up.

“Hey, baby?” He smiled, his eyes lighting up.

He was talking to John.

“No, we had to leave early. Meg got sick.”

“I don't know if that's a good idea. She looks like she needs company…”

“No, no. He can come over. I don't mind. I'm fine, I promise.”

I whispered and Danny rolled his eyes.

“Alright, babe you can come over.”

Danny said to John.

“Love you.” He said and hung up his phone.

“Are you sure you are going to be fine?”

Danny asked again.

“Positive,”

“Okay, I'll order in for you so you can eat as much as possible. If you need help, I'm a phone call away,”

“Oh my God, I know, Danny. I'll be fine. Go have fun with your boyfriend, your wife will be just fine,” I teased.

Danny chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “I promise to make it up to your wife,” I smiled and he kissed my forehead.

I finished my cocoa and went up to my room.

As soon as I got into my room, I plopped down on my bed and brought my knees up to my chest. All the events of today came back with full force.

Darrel, I whispered, my tongue filled with despair.

I still couldn't believe he'd been at the award night, I couldn't believe he'd held me. It felt like forever ago since I last saw him.

My heart was aching just thinking about him.

Did he have any idea that our daughter was dead?

By the look in his eyes when I had dedicated my award to her, he had no idea and that made me somehow angrier.

How dare he?

How dare him destroy my night?!

My body shook, anger taking over me.

I could feel an attack coming so I stood up and held on to the wall and counted to twenty before calming down.

I really needed to talk to my therapist. She'd understand.

I forced myself into bed even though I didn't want to sleep.

Somewhere during my tossing and turning, I fell asleep and had several dreams of Darrell playing with Sarah.