Meghan

CHAPTER 2

Darrel,

My eyes widened in shock.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

What was he doing here?

I looked over at Danny and he was staring at me with raised brows as if asking what was wrong.

His eyes followed mine as I looked back at Darrell. He glanced back at me in confusion.

He didn't seem to understand who I was looking at and why I was looking at him.

All the hairs at the back of my neck stood at attention and my stomach twisted into painful knots as I realized that I wasn't hallucinating and I was in fact staring at my ex husband.

What the hell was he doing here?

After so long?

“Um, Megan,” The female host nudged me and I snapped back to reality, sobering up. I looked straight into Darrel's eyes. The man that had caused me so much pain, cleared my throat and continued my speech,

“um…” I cleared my throat, “And finally, I would also like to dedicate this award to my daughter, Sarah. May your soul rest in peace and always remember Mama loves you.”

I finished, ignoring my beating heart and barely registering the standing ovation I got after the speech.

Darrell's eyes widened in shock, his intimidating aura slipping away for a second.

I made my way down the podium, my eyes boring into Darrel's eyes who was also staring at me with the same amount of intensity.

“You okay?” Danny met me halfway to my seat, pulling me back to our seats.

“Um, yes… I am fine, thank you.”

I forced out a smile.

“Are you sure?” He questions, assessing my face with a worried expression.

I knew what he was thinking. He thought I was having one of my episodes again. Ever since Sarah died, I had been a complete mess. The first few months, I frequently hallucinated about her and would have random panic attacks at the most random times. Danny had been there to help me through it and he never once complained but I knew how worried he had been about me and that had been enough motivation for me to get better.

“I'm fine, I'm Just... A little emotional. It's a big night.” I said, not wanting to worry him.

I glanced at the back again expecting to find Darrell staring at me but to my surprise, Darrel was no longer there. It was like he'd vanished into thin air.

I glanced around, worried that I had started to hallucinate again but he was nowhere to be found.

I took a deep breath, feeling like I had imagined the monster had been there.

“Are you sure you're okay? We can leave now if you are having…”

“No, it's okay, I'm okay, I promise.”

I smiled wide, patting his chest affectionately, trying to reassure him that I was indeed fine.

A sigh escaped his lips and he nodded.

“You'll tell me if you start to panic again, won't you?”

“I will, I promise.”

I smiled and he nodded.

Danny led me back to our seats and soon after he was called to receive his own award.

As much as I tried to be calm, I couldn't help but to be uneasy. I kept looking back but Darrel wasn't there.

I'd have to see my therapist tomorrow and tell her about this encounter. There was no reason for me to be hallucinating again. I had been taking my meds religiously for almost a year now, even tonight I had made sure to take my meds before coming.

After Danny's second award, I felt the urge to go to the bathroom.

I excused myself. He offered to come with me, worried that I'd need him but I refused, reassuring him that I was completely fine and would just shoot a text if I wasn't and he let me go reluctantly.

I made my way to the bathroom, still looking around, trying to find Darrell. I had nothing to say to him but I wanted to be sure he'd been nothing but a hallucination.

Once I was done using the bathroom, I washed my hands and stared at my reflection. I had changed so much since the last two and a half years.

My once blonde hair was now a flaming red and was now a bob instead of the long wavy blonde hair I used to have.

I was curvier, my lips were plumper, my skin clearer, my eyes, once bright and filled with life, nothing more than a haunting shell. I was now an empty shell. As much as I told myself and everyone around me I was fine, I wasn't, I wasn't fine. I had not been fine since my baby passed away, since he left me to deal with all of life's problems alone.

My eyes began to sting as the memories flooded my mind, destroying the barricades that I had put up to prevent it from coming.

The accident that had been my fault, my baby shouting for me to save her. Me, desperately trying to reach Darrell but wasn't there. He never came. Our baby was gone and he never came and two years later I was still left wondering what happened, why he'd left without a word, why he'd disappeared from the face of the earth.

His family had blamed me when I had come to tell them the news about Sarah and had told me to never come looking for their son, that I should consider him dead..

My breath began to come out in short bursts the more the memories came flooding.

“No,” I shook my head, trying to calm myself down but it was impossible. Once the memories came flooding like this, I usually had no choice but to ride the waves.

After ten minutes of labored breathing, I managed to slow down my breathing and touched-up my make-up with shaky hands.

I needed to leave before Danny came looking for me. I didn't want him worrying.

I made my way towards the bathroom door and opened it, I moved to the side as two women made their way into the bathroom.

I resumed my walk outside and strode down the hallway that led to the party.

Just as I was about to come outside into the party, I felt someone's hand pull me back and I looked up and gasped when I saw Darrell staring down at me with a haunting look.

“Hello, Meagan.” He said, his eyes piercing into mine.

“You are not real,” I shook my head, sure I was hallucinating.

“I am. We need to talk.” He said, like he hadn't left me for years without explanation.

“Get your hand off me,” I spat.

“Please, Meagan, “ he pleaded, not releasing my hands.

Anger bubbled from deep within me as I remembered all of the times I had pleaded for him to pick up my calls, for him to talk to me but he never did.

“Get your hands off me before I scream!” I yelled, anger taking over me.

“Megan…” he started but before he could finish speaking, I slapped him across the face and pulled my hands away from him.