My Once Upon A Time

It's not everyday that you wake up to a living nightmare, but here I am living the dream. My parents are gone. They have been gone now for three years and I still wake up in tears from the memory of that night. The night where my whole life changed. The night of my fifteenth birthday they were taken from me. Killed right in front of me in what I assume to be a home robbery went wrong? Nothing has ever been found and no one has paid the price for their deaths. Just me. I have paid for it every single day they have been gone. I have no living relatives. Not a single soul to put claim on me and take me in when the murders happened that left me an orphan. So, therefore I spent the remaining three years tossed around like a rag doll from home to home in foster care. And let me tell you it was not all sunshine and rainbows. Then again I should say most the horror stories you hear about foster care is most definitely correct. The only thing I can say that didn't happen to me was being sexual

I woke with a start drenched in sweat. "What in the hell was that?" I said to myself. I have had the dream about my parents more times than I could count and never once was it that detailed and never once did I remember the intruders speaking. I always wondered how I ended up moving from the closet to my bed and sleeping after witnessing what I had witnessed. Was this an actual memory? And if so why now and what the actual fuck! They were there to take me? What for? I have no idea if this was real or if was my subconsciences way of filling in a gap thats been there festering for the last fours years, but I dreamt what I dreamt and it felt real like all the other times I have that dream. Difference is all the other times I knew it to be fact because thats what I remembered. That's what I knew to be true. This other crap that was thrown at me tonight...well I have no idea where that all came from. Sitting there and letting my brain have its way of running amuck with endless questions th

I feel completely dumb struck. I honestly didn't know what to make of him last night and really I tried not to dwell on it long because I expected not to see him again. But he is right here in front of me and his gaze is so intense it makes me squirm.Clearing his throat and assessing the class I find myself relaxing a bit. Not much, but just enough to breathe again. Him looking at me like I was the only person in the room made me feel like I was under a microscope.Walking over and placing his briefcase on his desk he turns and addresses everyone. "Hello class. I see we have a few new faces and since I am still new here I will introduce myself." Walking over to the blackboard he picks up some chalk and begins writing. I can't see until he turns around and notice to elaborate handwriting while he announces "I am your professor, Mr. Belikov." And that's when I notice the slight accent. Must be Russian or something. It's not strong, but its definitly there.Walkin

He had caught me with a gentle embrace, and I won't lie it felt good for that half second I allowed it. Then backing away from his massive chest with I am sure a blush to my cheeks. His hands remaining on my upper arms to steady me. "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I really need to pay attention to where I am going!'' "No worries, Miss Brenna.'' He chuckled. ''You in a hurry?""Yes, actually. I think I am running late for Calculus. Aimee just took off giving me instructions on where to find that class and assuming how she practically ran off in the other direction, we both must be running late.''"Not really. You have about 8 minutes remaining to get just down the hall. She must have a class on the other side of the campas. Would you like an escort to your class?"Nope. Nope I don't. But my damn mouth got the better of me. Again. What is it about him!?"Sure." No Brenna, no!!! I scold myself. You can get there just fine on your own. "

We drove off campus in Aimee's white BMW...whichs makes me wonder what her job is. Or did her Mom and Dad foot the bill for this beauty. Regardless we headed off. There were no words being exchanged and honestly I appreciated the silence. Leaning my head over against the cool of the glass, staring at the trees and houses we passed and thinking to myself. How nice it must be to have the normally of going for a jog, playing in the yard with the family pet, planning what to have for dinner and then sit down to eat with your family. All of that has been far fetched from my reality. There hasn't been a steady family life. No family pet. Nothing. And did I long for that...absolutely. The reality is that that was one of the things I wished for growing up. Sitting alone on my birthdays, I just wished things would change, wished that one day I would have that family. That reason to want to come home. Something to look forward to. But I found myself working at a job that will get me nowhere,